First, I have three stories for you,
 
Story I: SMON [1]
 
Back in the 1950s, a frightening epidemic struck Japan. The mysterious neurological disease affected middle-aged individuals, mainly women, causing progressive paralysis and in some cases led to slow agonizing death. Due to the symptomatic resemblance with polio, doctors suspected that the disease is caused by a similar virus. Still, nothing could be done to stop the epidemic and the annual number of cases was steadily on the rise.
 
In 1964, the Japanese Society of Internal Medicine assigned a formal name and standardized diagnosis to the newly born -yet still mysterious- disease, Subacute MyeloOptico-Neuropathy (SMON). With time, evidences started piling up against the virus theory: for instance, some researchers noticed that the disease did not cause any detectable change in biological fluids, almost never affected children, wasn’t accompanied by rash, fever, or inflammation (the usual signs that the immune system is fighting an invading pathogen), and most intriguingly, a survey showed that all patients were prescribed some form of anti-diarrheal medication before the appearance of their symptoms. Nevertheless, this information and collected data were brushed aside, simply because they did not fit into the agreed-upon “theory.”
 
It took years for researchers to finally investigate the possibility that SMON symptoms are the side effect of Clioquinol, a medication commonly used mainly by Japanese women to control diarrhea. They found that the epidemic started shortly after the approval of the drug production in Japan.
 
I believe that what saved the day was the humility of the people in charge. Reisaku Kono, the doctor assigned for the investigation of the disease, although a virologist himself, he wasn’t reluctant to investigate alternative hypotheses. And, in early 1970, the Japanese Ministry of Health took the prompt action of releasing the newly found information to the press causing many physicians to stop prescribing Clioquinol even before the drug could be officially banned in Japan by a later date this same year. The number of cases dropped drastically henceforth and by 1973, the epidemic was over.
 
 
Story II: Chronic Fatigue Syndrome[2]
 
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) first appeared as an outbreak in mid 1930s. It affected 198 hospital staff (surprisingly not patients) at the Los Angeles County General Hospital. For years, it remained a mysterious illness and was given the name Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), which was later, despite the objection of the sufferers, changed to CFS. Labeling it “fatigue” somehow carried an underlying blame suggesting that the patients are lazy and ultimately referring them to psychiatrists.
 
In 2009, Judy Mikovits and Frank Ruscetti isolated a newly discovered retrovirus XMRV (Xenotropic Murine Leukemia Virus-Related Virus), and demonstrated its association with ME/CFS. Their research showed that the retrovirus, which is originally found in mice, made its way into the human population. But, how? Animal virus has been there for years and humans have been in contact with mice forever. Why did this jump happen now? And, how?
 
Other curious researchers started digging deeper into early data only to reveal that the entire medical staff at the Los Angeles County Hospital where ME/CFS first appeared had received polio vaccination just prior to the outbreak. What was different, though, was that, for the first time, the polio vaccine preparation used mice brain tissues to grow the virus. Additionally, the hospital staffs were injected with an immune booster carrying a mercury-containing preservative.
 
Dr. Mikovits suggests that the jump to human happened through the contaminated vaccines. And, if this is the case, then by now more than 10 million Americans are carrying the virus… a dormant ticking bomb that could be activated at any time by an immune system disruptor such as stress, inflammation, infections, immune boosters, toxicity (mercury, lead, Asbestos, pesticides…) or, guess what, more vaccinations. Additionally, most retroviruses (like HIV – the virus linked to AIDS) are known to affect the immune functions increasing susceptibility to various diseases including cancer.
And, there is more. Dr. Mikovits’ subsequent research suggested that mothers affected by ME/CFS are at an increased risk of having their children falling on the autistic spectrum. In one of her studies, fourteen of the seventeen children with Autism whose mothers suffered from ME/CFS tested positive for the virus (XMRV). Dr. Mikovits sees that, “those findings dovetailed with parental reports of autistic regression following vaccination [which might have activated the dormant virus that was passed from mother to child]. Subsequent studies linked XMRV to epidemics in leukemia, prostate cancer, autoimmune disease, and the explosion of Alzheimer’s disease.”
 
 
Story III: HIV[3]
 
Scientists agree that Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV), the virus that is currently linked to AIDS, originated from the Simian Immunodeficiency Virus (SIV), a monkey or chimpanzee virus. But, again, the question remains how did SIV made its way into the human population? The theory that we have been told (or sold) is that the virus jumped into human through Africans eating under-cooked chimpanzees.  But, Africans have been cooking and eating monkeys and chimpanzees for thousands of years. Why now?
 
Another theory was popularized by Edward Hooper in his book, The River: A Journey to the Source of HIV and AIDS. Hooper research led him to an incident back in 1957 when scientists used chimpanzees’ kidney cells and sera to grow polio vaccine. The produced vaccine was then administered orally to nearly one million Africans in Belgian Congo.  Could this be the route through which SIV found its way into human population? This definitely sounds like a more probable theory, but one that would cost pharmaceutical companies and medical establishment billions of dollars in lost revenues and law suits. AIDS epidemic went on to affect 60 million people worldwide claiming the life of at least 39 million victims.
 
____________________________
 
Ok, so now, let me put things straight. I am not against evidence-based science, pharmaceutical medications, or vaccines in general. And, I am not trying to convince anyone of anything, especially my fellow pharmacists who probably by now are calling me a crazy conspiracy theorist. Believe me, I know that the above stories, although totally genuine- are based on their own theories that bear their share of bias or speculations.  All I am trying to do is to show you that there is a whole world outside the tiny virus or vaccination box that we are squeezing ourselves into.
 
For instance,

• It has already been established that population at high risk of contacting the COVID-19 are those having other health conditions, which most probably means that they have already been on other medications. Did anyone survey those conditions and those medications?
• We know that ACE (Angiotensin Converting Enzyme) receptors are somehow involved in COVID access to the cells which raises the flag about ACE Inhibitors, the famous medications used for hypertension.  Accumulated data is showing that the people at highest risk are the ones suffering from hypertension and cardiovascular conditions. Did anyone investigate how many of the COVID victims were on ACE inhibitors?
• There are some studies concerning the role of vitamin D and the mitochondrial involvement. Did we test vitamin D deficiency in victims? And, what about Co-enzyme Q10 deficiency caused by the famous cholesterol lowering medications?
• Also, are diabetic patients more susceptible and immuno-compromised because of their medical condition or because of vitamin B12 depletion caused by the anti-diabetic medications they are receiving? As it is well known that vitamin B12 plays an essential role in human immune function.
• Further, why is the disease rampant in Long Time Care facilities? Is it because of the old age or are the elderly more likely to follow ministry guidelines of receiving the flu vaccine every year? Are we even willing to go there?

 
Vaccination is based on the idea that we could “prime our immune system with weakened or dead pathogens in order to deal with any challenges that might come our way over the course of a lifetime.” But, Dr. Mikovits raises the question whether we are overkilling a good idea causing irreversible damage and catastrophic consequences. Two of the above stories involve the polio vaccine. Yet, mind you, “every vaccine has been grown in animal tissue, usually of several different species, including monkey, mouse, bird, and cow. Each one of these cross-species events has the potential to transfer a pathogen to humans, or to create some new strain that can cause harm. We have fired several billion bullets of biological ammunition at the human species, and it is the height of arrogance to believe we have cause zero damage.” [4] And, then, there is the added risk of the chemicals in the vaccines, like mercury (which is still added to the flu shot) and aluminum (which is added as immune booster to many of the current vaccines) and the other adjuvants and preservatives.
 
It is extremely difficult and even impossible to do proper research when the outliers are denied funding and their data is censored. It is extremely difficult and even impossible to do proper research when the whistle blowers are brutally silenced and the truth is lost among the loud noise of the propaganda spread by the money-making machines.
 
If we could learn anything from the SMON story (besides humility), it would be to never ignore the data that does not fit into our currently acceptable framework. I am not implying that there is no virus involved. But, what if the virus in itself is a weak, low-harm entity? What if it was a mere straw that broke the camel’s back? If the virus hadn’t put those patients at risk, 100s of other causes would have affected their already poor health and compromised immunity. Why, then, are we focusing on the straw and ignoring the whole load of sh*t that the camel has already been carrying for a long time?
 
Basically, this is what I am trying to say:

• There could be many causes for a disease or an illness – the virus is probably the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
• The disease model does not work – We need to shift our focus on a health and wellness model instead.
• Human system is way more complicated than Newtonian mechanics of cause and effect – we are not machines.

 
One thing we know for sure from all the years of virology studies: the ONLY conqueror of a virus – any virus- is our own immune system. Even a vaccine won’t do its job if you don’t have a healthy immune system. So, let’s do our part. Let’s focus on our health, on the load of sh*t we are carrying so that the straw would not break our backs, whether this straw is a virus, a bacterium, a UFO, or a genie from a lamp… It doesn’t matter! We need to deal with:

• The physical and environmental toxins (including the witch brew we are getting from vaccines)
• The emotional, spiritual, and mental toxins (including the fear-mongering propaganda)
• The nutrient deficiency and depletion (including the one caused by drug muggers, genetically engineered and empty-calories foods)

 
Scientists make mistakes sometimes. Good intentions does not prevent good scientists from erring and some of those errors cost us lives… Millions of lives.
 
During the past few decades, science has achieved amazing leaps in technology. Yet, we did not use this technology to build on the cosmological model of reality we inherited from thousands of years of traditional, religious, and cultural wisdom. Instead, we’ve torn down this colossal edifice and arrogantly replaced it with our newly born theories. We considered ourselves smarter than our predecessors and we placed human beings as the sole proprietors of this vast universe. Meanwhile, ironically, we denied these sole proprietors the dignity the Divine has bestowed upon them and we reduced them to mere animals on a Darwinian evolution chain with their only privilege being a frontal cortex that allows them to logically and analytically think and control nature. We robbed them off “The Rational Faculties of the Soul” that allows for imagination, estimation, abstraction, and reflection. Instead, we gave them a concrete, predictable, and linear Newtonian cosmos that further disconnected them from their Creator, from one another, and from their own souls.
 
All great traditional cultures and world religions bear a mystical, mythical component that takes human beings beyond the constraints of physicality and connect them to a Greater Power, a higher meaning, meanwhile grounding them in humility as they are constantly reminded of their human limitations and vulnerabilities. The Quran describes the believers as “those who believe in the unseen.” There will always be an “unseen.” There is a limit to our human knowledge. The idea that we are learning more and more everyday until we will reach “The Theory of Everything” is pure arrogance. The craving for learning is weaved into our DNA, it is part of being human. But, let us not forget the fact that we are mere human.
 
Being an advocate for tradition and for the restoration of the human “soul” does not make me less of a scientist. I am a scientist at heart. I am passionate about pharmaceutics, biochemistry, and human metabolic reactions. I’ve taught them for years. Holding on to tradition does not mean rejecting modern technology, evidence-based research, and scientific advancement. It means finding the balance. Restoring human position in the cosmos as guardians and vicegerents not as controllers and entitled dominators. It means restoring human dignity by reconnecting with “the breath of the Divine” we all carry within us … A breath that urges us to focus on “first do no harm” – no harm to human beings, to nature, to any of God’s creatures and creations … A breath that makes us set aside our political and economic agenda in order for us to be:

• Humble rather than arrogant
• Servants rather then entitled
• Compassionate rather than controlling
• Loving rather than destroyers.

 
Professor Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, the father of biochemistry and the Nobel prize winner for his isolation of vitamin C molecule, wrote in his autobiography: “Nature has no bottom. If Nature puts two things together she produces something new with new qualities, which cannot be expressed in terms of qualities of the components. […] At every level we find something new, a new breathtaking vista. So now, at 68, I am to work my way up again following electrons in their motion through more extensive systems, hoping to arrive, someday, at an understanding of the cellular level of organization.”  This is what I call humility! And, this is what I see missing from the modern-day approach to nature, medicine, and the human body. Modern science has given us so many amazingly sophisticated and advanced wonderful tools that weren’t meant to rob us off our humility (or humanity). They were meant to show us this “new breathtaking vista” that should have made us even more humble.
 
To find answers to our current health crisis, we need to set aside our personal interests and political and economic agendas… We need to be humble enough to look outside the constraints of been-there-done-that-I-am-the-expert box that we are squeezing ourselves into.
 
May God help and guide us all. Amen.

_____________________________
[1] Peter Duesberg. Inventing The AIDS Virus. Washigton, D. C. Regnery Publishing, 1996.
[2] Judy Mikovits and Kent Heckenlively. Plague of Corruption: Restoring Faith in the Promise of Science.  New York: Skyhorse Publishing, 2020.
[3] Ibid.
[4] Ibid.

​Many of the physical and pharmaceutical knowledge as we know it is built on theories, an estimated view of the world that we’ve been sold and naively embraced as “truth” while all who suggested it know for sure that these are mere theories.

• The neurotransmitters theory of mental illness -on which the whole biochemical treatment model is based- is a mere theory.
• Human Immune Virus (HIV) is the cause of AIDS is a mere theory
• Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) causes cervical cancer is a another theory
• Cholesterol medications lower the risk of heart attack is a theory (or maybe even a myth)
• And, PCR (Polymerase Chain Reaction) which is currently used to test and detect COVID-19 cases is yet another theory.

 
Since we started the so-called “War on Cancer”, cancer cases are on the rise. Since we launched into the technological and industrial era, chronic illnesses are booming. Our medical model managed to add years to our lives but robbed those years off quality and dignity. What’s the use of more years if we are crippled by chronic illnesses and pains, our identity erased by dementia and Alzheimer, or our life savings depleted by polypharmacy?
 
Does conflict of interest even mean anything when the World Health Organization (WHO), the medical research and physicians’ continuous education are funded by the companies that sell the drugs?  
Does conflict of interest even mean anything when no proper funding is available to research natural alternatives to the toxic pharmaceuticals because the fact that they are natural makes them un-patentable, and thus they are not money & power generating machine.
 
As we removed God from our Cosmos, we excluded the soul from healthcare and butchered morality out of medical and psychological interventions. We stripped meaning out of our lives, out of our conversations and we replaced our words with empty “plastic words” that sound smart and sophisticated but lack substance and ground.
We are feeding our bodies with empty calories and genetically modified toxins. We are disrupting our delicate human electromagnetic field with microwaves and 5G “technology.” We are feeding our minds on propaganda of fear-mongering pseudoscience. And, we are further depleting our souls with disconnection and addictions.
Our media and propaganda machine managed to silence all voices of reason and punish any whistle blower labeling any objections and freedom of speech as “conspiracy theory.”
 
Where are we heading as a society?
 
COVID-19 managed to bring the world to a halt and for a good reason. It is a scary and real health threat. I am not among those who are claiming that it is all a fear-mongering tactic. No. The disease is real. The death and loss and grief and pain are real. But are we still chasing ghosts? Are we still looking for answers in all the wrong places? Are we repeating the AIDS disaster?
 
Professor Kary B. Mullis, the receiver of Nobel Prize in Chemistry in 1993 for his invention of PCR (the technique on which today’s COVID-19 testing is based), wrote “We have not been able to discover any good reasons why most of the people on earth believe that AIDS is a disease caused by a virus called HIV. There is simply no scientific evidence demonstrating that this is true.” Mullis goes on to describe his astonishment at how doctors still base their diagnosis and prescription of treatment on this now considered “fact.” In other words, we were faced with a real life threatening illness (AIDS), we hypothesized that a virus (HIV) is the cause of that illness and we based all our subsequent decisions and actions on that hypothesis so much so that, with time, we even forgot the fact that this was a mere hypothesis, a theory that still bears many flaws and raises lots of questions. No wonder scientists have never been able to develop a vaccine nor find a real treatment for AIDS.
 
The current tragedy brings to mind the words of Peter Duesburg, the professor of molecular and cell biology at the University of California, Berkeley, talking about the AIDS epidemic, he said, “The answers to the epidemic do not lie in increased funding or efforts to make science more productive. The answers will instead be found by reinterpreting existing information. Science's most important task, much more than unearthing new data, is to make sense of the data already in hand. Without going back to check its underlying assumptions, [we] will never make sense of its mountains of raw data.”
 
But, today, are we able and willing to “check the underlying assumption”? Are we able and willing to shake the status quo?
 
John Maddox, the editor of Nature, the world's oldest scientific journal, wrote, “Is there a danger, in molecular biology, that the accumulation of data will get so far ahead of its assimilation into a conceptual framework that the data will eventually prove an encumbrance? Part of the trouble is that excitement of the chase leaves little room for reflection. And there are grants for producing data, but hardly any for standing back in contemplation.”
 
I hope that after this acute phase of the COVID-19 pandemic passes, we would take the time “for standing back in contemplation.” I hope that as this pandemic was an invitation for all of us, on the individual level, to reorganize our life and recheck our priorities, it would also be an invitation for our scrupulous conscientious scientists, researchers, pharmacists, and physicians to reflect, contemplate, and “check the underlying assumptions.”
 
May God help and guide us all. Amen.

It took a global pandemic to force us to pause our fast-paced life, slow down the mad pursuit for ever more, and to replace our FOMO (Fear of Missing out) with a legitimate fear for our simple ability to breathe… a priceless luxury that we all took for granted.
It took a global pandemic to make us realize how lonely and empty our modern lifestyle really is…
It took a global pandemic to make us face this dark lifeless spot that lurked deep beneath the surface of our hearts and lay at the core of our being perfectly camouflaged that we failed to see it for what it really is… Depression!
 
Depression, loneliness, and emptiness became the “modern maladies of the soul.”[1] Studies show that when we are depressed, being alone exasperates the feelings of vulnerability, helplessness, and powerlessness. While, as we progress in healing our depression, we start viewing loneliness as a sign of autonomy, self-worth, and independence.[2] Yet, in this time of social/physical distancing and social isolation we are forced to face the question: are loneliness and emptiness causing our depression, or are they caused by it?
 
We might be tempted to think that we need to treat depression for those feelings to resolve. Yet, how can we treat depression without resolving such feelings of emptiness, vulnerability, and loneliness?
 
Paul Gilbert, the British clinical psychologist, identifies powerlessness and lack of belonging as two basic social constructs that pave the way for depression.[3] Powerlessness, in our context, could be defined as the loss of control and the inability to achieve significant goals, to form meaningful relationships, to escape unacceptable social situations, and/or to prove our value and worth.[4] Holly Nelson-Becker, the Professor at Department of Clinical Sciences at Brunel University London, invites us to look at powerlessness in itself as a part of the learning journey that requires deep reflection; “perhaps a part of the learning is that [we] must wait in powerlessness,” she suggests.[5] Sometimes, down periods in life are periods of spiritual transformation and opportunities for growth. Could COVID-19 pandemic present us with such opportunity?
 
Even before this pandemic, our modern lifestyle had sentenced many, or even most, of us to a meaningless lonely life. It forced us to be largely disconnected: disconnected from our family members who may be living under the same roof…  disconnected from our own self, our passions and true purposes… disconnected from the Bigger Picture, bigger life meaning… disconnected from our environment and our earth… disconnected from our community and society… disconnected from the Divine source of energy and love… We were living on an autopilot, running all day long like a lonely hamster on a wheel. In this whirlwind of loneliness, no wonder we feel excluded from active participation and engagement in a meaningful life experience. Sebastian Junger, in his book Tribe, notes how history has never witnessed such high rates of depression and mental illnesses. As opposed to the traditional tribal culture where everyone is involved in a meaningful community role and purpose, modern Western culture, makes us feel un-necessary and unimportant.[6]
 
Loneliness is radically different from solitude. Loneliness is not about being alone; it is rather about the lack of belonging and the feeling of unworthiness.[7] As human beings, we need to feel that we belong to a family and a community that respect our needs and acknowledge our contribution.[8] Yet, our self-image and self-worth determine how we perceive and interact with such family and community. Our sense of belonging thus starts within ourselves, within our own hearts, by clearly defining and acknowledging our own aspirations, expectations, drives, and vulnerabilities.
Avicenna (d. 428/1037), the famous Muslim physician, teaches that healing depression should start by healing the heart, physically, emotionally, and spiritually,[9] an opinion that reflects the teachings of Prophet Muhammad: “In the body, there is a morsel which if healthy, causes the health of the whole body; and if it sickens, it causes the sickness of the whole body; this is the heart”.[10]
 
James Fowler sees that some of us, as we advance in age, we might feel ready to move into an advanced stage of faith that takes us beyond the dualistic, reductionist mentality and causes us to start integrating meanings and signs, dialoguing with ourselves, and being at peace with our human limitations. Fowler sees trust as the central theme of this stage, which necessitates a paradigm shift whereupon we start to re-work our past and integrate all aspects of our identity. At this higher stage of faith, we are comfortable with ambiguity. We approach life with awe and reverence seeing the wisdom in every experience even the most tragic ones.[11] With this paradigm shift, we learn to relax expectations, to give greater weight on momentary joys, to experience life more deeply, and to balance healthy attachments with detachments and engagement with relinquishing.[12] Most importantly, this paradigm shift involves self-reflection inviting us to connect with our feelings on a much deeper level.
 
Henri Nouwen teaches that when we reach deeper into our hearts, we sit in deep reflection with our powerlessness and listen to “that place within us where our deepest desires align with God’s desire.”[13] And, following Avicenna’s advice, deep reflection eases our depression and loneliness by initiating a venture towards a sound heart, qalb salīm  (Qur’an, 26:89). A sound heart is one that is sincerely filled with the truth of Divine Oneness and free from doubts, desires, vice, ignorance, and arrogance; an empowered heart that has surrendered entirely to the Divine and that wishes for others all good that it wishes for itself.[14]
 
During this challenging time of physical distancing and self-isolation, as the human race is forced to face its powerlessness and helplessness, as we are forced to face the dark maladies of our souls, I pray that we make use of this compulsory pause to initiate our self-reflective healing journey and delve deeper into our souls searching for the meanings of true connections: connection with our true selves, with our family, with our community, with our earth, with our God and with all God’s creatures and creations. May God bless and guide us all. Amen.

-----------------------------------
[1] Nelson-Becker, H. (2016). Spirituality, religion and aging: Illuminations for therapeutic practice. London: Sage.
[2] Pierce, L. L., Wilkinson, L. K., & Anderson, J. (2003). Analysis of the Concept of Aloneness as Applied to Older Women Being Treated For Depression. Journal of Gerontological Nursing, 29 (7), 20-25.
[3] Gilbert, P. (2009). Depression and Powerlessness. New York: Routledge.
[4] Ibid.
[5] Nelson-Becker, 2016.
[6] Junger, S. (2016). Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging. New York: Harpercollins.
[7] Vanier, J. (2010). Becoming Human. Toronto: House of Anansi Press.
[8] Ramadan, T. (2012). The Quest For Meaning: Developing a Philosophy of Pluralism. London: Penguin Books
[9] Yousofpour, M., Kamalinejad, M., Esfahani, M. M., Shams, J., Tehrani, H. H., & Bahrami, M. (2015). Role of Heart and Its Diseases in the Etiology of Depression According to Avicenna's Point of View and Its Comparison With Views of Classic Medicine. International Journal of Preventative Medicine 6 (49).
[10] Related by Bukhārī and Muslim
[11] Fowler, J. (1995). Stages of Faith: The Psychology of Human Development And the Quest for meaning. New York: HarperOne.
[12] Nelson-Becker, 2016.
[13] Nouwen, H. (2013). Discernment: Reading The Signs of Daily Life. New York: HarperOne.
[14] Nasr, S. H. (2015). The Study Quran: A New Translation and Commentary. New York: HarperOne.

​His student asked his permission to treat his cataract. “You taught us,” he pleaded hoping that the great 10th  century physician would accept. But Rhazes denied, “I’ve seen enough of this world,“ he replied. Weeks later, Rhazes (Abu Bakr al-Razi) , the greatest physician of his time, passed away in his bed… Blind… and broke.
 
Could blindness be a choice? Blindness to the cruelty the world and suffering of the soul…
Blindness is not a mere loss of eyesight. Many of us unconsciously live blind... looking yet not seeing… And, others choose to deliberately live blind. Their world is too harsh to endure otherwise. Our heroine is one of them. For years, she chose to live blind. She turned off the light, put down the blinds, and closed her eyes. She lived in her tiny cocoon isolated from the world. She felt safer this way… warmer in a cold-hearted world… richer in a poor-spirited community… peaceful in a violent surrounding… But, soon the darkness seeped into her soul… eroded her body and sucked the life out of her… She was dead inside. Every morning, she drew the most beautiful smile on her face and went on with her daily duties…
 
Joseph Campbell, in his Hero’s Journey, would call this phase the Innermost Cave… Christian mystics call it the dark night of the soul… and the Sufis call it contraction… Yet, in all those traditions, this phase is not the end of the journey. It is just the beginning. It is “God’s silence and our own – working as an entryway into an unmediated experience of the Divine.” It is this “wondrous night that beckons us all into a fuller, more intimate experience of the Divine. So much that sustains our lives and souls can only happen in the dark of night.”[1]
Campbell’s hero’s transformation only take place after the hero acknowledges his vulnerability taking all the time he needs in his Innermost Cave. Like herbs releasing their medicine only after percolating for weeks into the dark cold menstruum, our soul finds its elixir into the darkest contraction of our hearts.

​The ancient Yin and Yang symbol holds a light dot in its dark swirl – reminding us of the ever presence of hope in the midst of suffering. It also depicts a dark dot in its light swirl – reminding us to remain humble in times of brightness and growth… “In order that you do not despair over what has eluded you and not over-exult in pride over what God has given you” (Q. 57: 23). ​

​Our suffering requires courage to keep going. It requires patience, flexibility, and trust. Our darkest moments help us slow down, reflect at, and absorb life lessons, challenges, and trials.  It helps us find the perfect rhythm that sets in coherence our inner-self with our outer reality… that synchronizes our heart with the delicate flow of life, with all its ups and downs, joys and sorrows. Yet, to reach this heart coherence, we need to mollify our brain endless chatter… We need the silence of our Innermost Cave in order for us to hear the whispers of our soul… we need to be willing to open our heart to receive the subtle grace that the Divine offers us every step along your way.
 
Yes, blindness is a choice… but our heroine does not have to choose it… We do not have to choose it… We can choose, instead, to shut our eyes and retreat in our Innermost Cave for as long as we need to… We’re not turning blind eyes… We’re closed for restoration!
_______________________
[1] Robert H. Hopcke, “Spiritual direction and mystical experience,” in Sharing Sacred Stories.

It is estimated that nearly one quarter of Canadians suffer from hypertension, a leading risk factor for cardiovascular diseases. But, it is interesting to know that most cases of hypertension are classified as primary or essential hypertension, which means that the exact reason for blood pressure rise is not known.
 
Although conventional medicine attribute the cause of hypertension to dietary choices, sedentary lifestyle and stress, traditional medicines have always added a deeper mystical understanding. In traditional medicine, blood is our lifeline. The smooth flow of blood in our blood vessels represent a smooth, harmonious, and joyful life flow. When the flow of life is constricted/restricted, so would be the blood inside its vessels.
 
According to ancient Indian medicine, at least one of the first four main chakras are associated with hypertension problems: the root chakra, the sacral chakra, the solar plexus, and the heart chakra.

• The first chakra is your root, your foundation. It holds your primary sense of belonging – belonging to a family in its larger sense including the feeling of safety, home, peace, and harmony. The first chakra regulates musculoskeletal health along with the adrenal function, which determines our tolerance/response to stress – the adrenaline secretion that, when activated, prepare the body to fight or flee (raising heart rate, increasing blood pressure and slowing down digestion). Furthermore, chronic stress sustain the release of cortisol, a hormone that raises blood pressure, blood sugar level, causes muscle tension, and suppresses immune function.

 

• The second chakra It is the centre of creativity, joy, passion, physical and emotional intimacy, and life flow. It mainly controls sexual organs and to a large extent body fluids, a main player in the blood pressure regulation.  Our kidneys regulate water and electrolyte balances – managing blood pressure.

 

• The third chakra is the seat of your emotions. Those deep feelings of love and hate, courage and fear, acceptance and anger,... all are lodged here in your solar plexus, stored in your liver, gall bladder, and stomach. Many -or maybe most- of the malfunctions at this centre arise from repressed, unregulated or uncontrolled emotions and unmanaged life stresses. Poor digestion and nervous stomach are common disorders associated with the third chakra malfunctions. Worry, anxiety, and unmanaged daily life stresses are early signs of “gut feeling” that need to be addressed. And, stress is the main culprit in cardiovascular problems including hypertension.

 

• The fourth is the heart chakra, the centre of love with all its meanings - romantic and spiritual, physical and metaphysical. Your heart is the link between your physical realm and your spiritual one, that’s why balancing your heart energy is essential in achieving holistic balance. And, balance means taking care of whole of you: body, mind, heart & soul. The heart chakra regulates heart function and blood circulation in addition to lungs and breathing.

 
As you can see, more than one chakra is always involved in any health challenge—especially in chronic physical disorders like hypertension. Restoring your health entails managing all aspects of your life (physical, mental , emotional , and spiritual).[1]

 
Energy Restoration:
 
If you find it hard to control your blood pressure, it is time to listen closely to your own body… What is your body trying to tell you? What message is it trying to deliver? Which of the four Chakras is/are out of balance?
 
 
First Chakra

• Strengthen your support. Family support is an essential element in your foundation’s health. Think about the house you live in. How could your feel more “at home”?
• Connect with Nature.
• Be aware of your movements, especially your daily routine activities. Movement is a powerful energizer of our first chakra.
• Prepare Food for Your Family.
• Clear the Clutter. Living in a clean, orderly, and uncluttered environment is a first chakra energizer.
• Get a Foot Massage.
• Support your adrenals – Your adrenals need coenzyme Q10, vitamin C, B vitamins, and omega 3 oils.

 
Second chakra

• Water has a powerful cleansing effect on all of the energy system. You can restore your second chakra balance through bubble baths or warm showers. You can energize it by standing under the rain, going to the beach or practicing water sports like swimming and water skiing.
• Live with passion. The second chakra is the centre of creativity and life enjoyment. To energize it, you need to find pleasures, meanings and values in everyday experience. You need to step out of your comfort zone and try new stuff that makes you happy and bring you material, spiritual, mental, and emotional satisfaction.
• Adopt a New Hobby. Learning a new skill or adopting a new hobby is about adding gratification to your life and also about boosting your creative powers, the two main sides of your second chakra.
• Engage Your Senses. Let your sensual indulgence flow naturally and spontaneously throughout your daily experiences by cultivating awareness of your five senses (sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch). Although your life should be structured, planned, and organized (functions of the first chakra), it should be far from rigid. Flexibility, harmony, and flow are essential for a healthy second chakra.
• Simplify and beautify your Surrounding.

 
 
Third Chakra

• The sun is a major third chakra booster. UV rays of sunlight help lowering blood pressure, reducing cholesterol, increasing heart efficiency, boosting metabolism, increasing sex hormones levels, and sustaining the health of the eye retina.
• Finding your path, your true vocation and life calling is essential for establishing health, vitality and happiness. The journey starts here at your solar plexus by re-evaluating your resources, your strengths, your talents and potentials; by boosting your self-confidence, self-worth and self-esteem; and by committing to your true values and vocations.
• Love who you are, acknowledge your human limitations and be less critical and judgmental of yourself. Surround yourself with a loving, caring, and compassionate community. Connect with your family and friends and receive and give support. A healthy support system is essential in a stressful world.
• Breathing Exercises adjust, synchronize, and harmonize the diaphragm movement thus restoring balance not only at the third chakra level but also at whole body levels.

 
Fourth Chakra

• Awareness. The first step in restoring heart balance is actually recognizing that we are tumbling out of balance. Awareness is the key in every aspect of your life. Ironically, the more we struggle to stay in control, the less balanced we become.
• Perform a Random Acts of Kindness. Serving others feed your heart.
• Keep smiling. Studies in the field of positive psychology show that pessimism is very strongly associated with poor health and heart problems. Research has proven over and over again that the feeling of optimism, having a life meaning, mastery of your conditions and experiences, and having positive attitudes and emotions towards life are major indicators of your susceptibility to heart and cardiovascular diseases. These findings were more indicative of predicted death from heart attacks and cardiovascular problems than more conventionally stated risk factors like high blood pressure, elevated cholesterol, diet and lifestyle habits, obesity, smoking, and personality types.
• Learn your love language. Love, the essential food for the heart, is a very important asset in relationship building. Dr. Gary Chapman, the author of The Five Love Languages, sees that each person understands and communicates love in his/her own language – be it gifts, acts of service, words of appreciation, physical touch… To restore your heart energy, you need to understand, receive, and deliver the right messages of love. 

 
Now, it is your turn to reflect. Which aspect(s) of those chakra energy is missing from your life?
What do you need to change/ add/ eliminate?
Listen to your body… What does it need in order to heal?
Write your own healing prescription…

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[1] It is very important to note here that if the malfunction reaches a stage where it is manifested physically, an experienced physician should be consulted. The advice given here can in no way compensate for a proper medical intervention or treatment, when such is required. 

I knew Samira for years before her breast cancer diagnosis. When she was first diagnosed, Samira was a single mother of three school-aged children. She was a hard-working janitor with no other source of income and no relatives or close friends to rely on. All she had was the tiny wage she was earning cleaning schools all week. With no medical insurance, Samira could not afford conventional medical treatment. “Either I pay for my chemotherapy or feed and educate my kids. This is not a hard choice to make, is it?” She told me with the usual serene smile on her face.   Samira quickly set her priorities straight. Her primary role, she decided, is to take care of her children and provide them with a good education so that they won’t face the same difficult life she was leading; and that she would do so until her last breath. As a religious person, Samira felt she had a mission to live for and placed her total trust in God. She believed that “God does not burden any soul with more than it can handle” (Q. 2:286). She drew on her sincere faith to gain an incredible determination and strength that enabled her to carry on with her mission with a deep meaning and purpose. Although she couldn’t afford medication, Samira assumed responsibility for her health by getting the best nutritional and alternative help she could afford. She lived in the moment and carried on with her life in total satisfaction and surrender to the Divine. Today, ten years later, Samira is a grandmother, her daughter is happily married; her elder son is a successful accountant working to support her and his younger college-student brother. No sign left of her cancer.
Life or health challenges can open the door for spiritual growth and life transformation. For many people, those physical challenges can change the way they approach and appreciate life, draw them closer to God and to their community, give them feeling of safety and peace, and boost their sense of self-esteem, strength, and worthiness. For others, facing such crisis may precipitate emotional trauma, lead them to question their faith, fall into helplessness and self-blame, or succumb to anger and resentment.[1] It is your choice! I am not saying it is an easy one, though. Nevertheless, it is a conscious intentional path that we need to embark on. Our first step is that conscious choice!


[1] Ellen G. Levine et. al. Ethnicity and Spirituality in Breast Cancer Survivors. Journal of cancer survivorship. Volume  1: 3   2007/ Pages 212-225.

It is estimated that psychosis affects around 2% of all population across all ages.[1] From evolutionary perspective, those traits must have survived because they are required to play a role in human development: leadership, working under extreme pressure, thinking out of the box, wild creativity, invention, art and poetry… are among many characteristics found in people suffering from different forms of psychosis like schizophrenia and bipolar disorders.

It is interesting to see that no traditional culture looked at those traits as disease or impairment. People affected were regarded as different, yes, but they were still considered “normal.” Their atypical behavior was part of the grand scheme of the societal structure. And, who has the right to define “normal”? Nowadays, evidence-based healthcare relies heavily on statistical analysis of a collected data. Lennard Davis argues that the use of statistics, which began in the 1800s by eugenicists, aimed, and in most cases is still aiming, at establishing the “normal distribution” of human beings in an attempt to reduce deviation from the norm.[2] This idea of the norm in itself is a tyranny that ignores many aspects of the human experience trying to fit the entire population into well-defined boxes.

Even the neurotransmitter theory, it is just that, a theory.[3] We know that dopamine is elevated in people with schizophrenia and that serotonin is low in people suffering from depression. But, we don’t know whether it is a cause or an effect: Is the elevated dopamine level causing the schizophrenia, the bipolar or the psychosis, or is it caused by them? And, is the reduced serotonin level causing the depression or is it caused by it? No one really knows.

The human brain is way more complicated than our neurotransmitter or neurobiological model of reality. People experiencing those symptoms have always been assimilated into society. They were “different,” but still “normal.” They were atypical, but still functional. They performed specific roles that no “normal” person can do. Like shamans in native cultures, Joan of Arc in France, and Al-Hallaj in Sufi history, if any of them were to be presented to our modern conventional medical model, they would have been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Yet, at their time and in their culture, they were very special, even gifted individuals and highly esteemed at times.

Joseph Polimeni, a British psychiatrist and author of the book Shamans Among Us, believes that “people with schizophrenia are the modern manifestation of prehistoric tribal shamans.” Nevertheless, he affirms that he still treats his patients within the conventional biopharmacological model, because, we simply have no other alternatives. For those people to be assimilated into society and for them to lead a functional life, our whole social structure needs to be changed. Dr. Gabor Maté, the renowned Canadian psychiatrist, sees that a person with schizophrenia in a tribal culture holds a better chance of survival and well-being than one following the Western medical model.[4] Our view on mental illness cannot be removed from the person’s context and culture. Our Western materialistic and individualistic society focuses on achievements and possessions cutting off emotional, social, and spiritual needs, which, according to Maté, separates us from ourselves and paves the road for pathology.[5] Unfortunately, those ancient cultural and tribal modes of life do not exist anymore. They have been crushed under the weight of industrialism and individualism. The nuclear family is not enough nor is the extended family -that still occasionally exists in some communities- to assimilate those individuals’ needs. The whole societal model does not accept or tolerate anyone who is “different.” Sebastian Junger, in his book Tribe, notes how history has never witnessed such high rates of mental illness. As opposed to the traditional tribal culture where everyone is involved in a meaningful community role and purpose, modern Western culture, he adds, and I totally agree, made us feel un-necessary and unimportant, which is one of the main reasons behind modern-day mental disorders.[6]
 
I totally acknowledge that in many cases, those individuals could pose substantial risk on society. They could be violent and even dangerous. But, how do we know that this violence is not triggered by violent media, movies, and video games that we, as a society, are bombarded with on a daily basis? How do we know that this violence is not caused by nutrients deficiency from our genetically manipulated and heavily sprayed food, or by chemical pollution from our toxin-loaded environment, or by viral vulnerability from our highly compromised immune defence?

I believe we are messing with a highly precious gift that God has bestowed upon us, our brain. This highly sophisticated neural system was supposed to be a tool that helps us read “the signs on the horizons and within our souls” (Q. 41: 53), the signs that show us the way to the Truth, to our Creator. It was supposed to be a tool that helps us align our innate heart and soul knowledge of Him (our Fitrah) with our logical, analytical understanding of ourselves, our world, and our life meaning and purpose. This highly precious gift has been corrupted and damaged. It has been confused and disconnected from its source.
 
I don’t want to sound pessimistic, but I honestly can’t envision hope in the near future. This is not because the answer is difficult or untenable, but rather because we are looking for answers in all the wrong places. If we are to effectively find answers to the rising rates of psychosis, mental illness and all chronic diseases for that matter, we need a paradigm shift. In the modern Western biomedical model, the scientific research is still based on and undergirded by the Cartesian-Newtonian dualistic, linear, and reductionist approach to life. This view “not only presents an inaccurate vision of human existence but also contributes to the disease of modern society.”[7] All research concerning our health must conform to the evidence-based, statistical “scientific” model that highly overlooks the multifactorial nature of causation (instead they focus on linear causation); the interconnectedness of mind, body, and soul (instead they see life through the dualistic Cartesian lens of separation); and the interrelated holistic nature of life (versus the isolation, compartmentalization, and individualization view of modern thinking).[8]

In the 1970s, William Dembski introduced his idea of Intelligent Design in an attempt to intersect science and theology. The Intelligent Design theory relies on scientific research while acknowledging the Divine action and order. He advocated broadening our understanding of scientific evidence to include metaphysical first principles and include thoughts, feelings, relationships, and holistic view of life. His theory demonstrates that reinstating the bridge between science and theology can reinvigorate the ethical stream and promote the flourishing of human life.[9] I believe we can make a difference if we start with even the tiniest step towards re-connecting:

• Re-connecting with our pure uncorrupted, unadulterated soul
• Re-connecting with our Creator
• Re-connecting with our life meaning and purpose
• Re-connecting with our family, community, and society
• Re-connecting with our roots and tradition
• Re-connecting with our earth and all God’s creation

 
Sufis teach that if our life journey “appears to move through time and distance, that is not that we can eventually reach God, since ‘He is with you wherever you are’ but rather ‘so that He can cause [us] to see His signs’ that are always there, ‘on the horizons and within [our] souls,’” those signs that lead us to Him.[10] We need to stop ignoring the signs and stop messing with the precious tool God gave us in order for us to heed those signs.
 

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[1] Daniel Nettle. Strong Imagination: Madness, Creativity, and Human Nature (Oxford University Press, 2002)
[2] Davis, L. J.  (2013). The Disability Studies Reader. (4th ed.). New York: Routledge.
[3] Kelly Brogan, A Mind of Your Own: The Truth About Depression and How Women Can Heal Their Bodies to Reclaim Their Lives (Harper Wave, 2016) and Craighead, W. Edward. Miklowitz, David J., and Craighead Linda W. Psychopathology: History, Diagnosis, and Empirical Foundations (3rd ed.). Hoboken: Wiley, 2017.
[4] Gabor Maté, The Myth of Normal (2016). From YouTube, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_j5mmBa4mw (accessed October 30, 2017).
[5] Gabor Maté, The Myth of Normal.
[6] Sebastian Junger, Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging (New York: Harpercollins Publishers, 2016).
[7] Epperly, B. G. (2000). Prayer, Process, and the Future of Medicine. Journal of Religion and Health, 39 (1), 23-37.
[8] Ibid
[9] Dembski, W. (1999). Intelligent Design: The Bridge Between Science and Theology. Illinois: InterVarsity Press.
[10] ʿArabī, The Meccan Revelations.

When I look back at the past two years of my life, I could only see Divine miracles... Although those past two years have been full of tears, pain, fears, worries, and lots of heart and body aches, the fading memories left me with a profound feeling of content and gratitude that fills my heart along with an unshakable sense of trust that keeps me going despite all odds.
Is this what is called resiliency? Or is it faith? Whatever we choose to call it, it remains this sense of deep trust in God and belief that a bigger plan is always in effect and this plan is always carrying within its folds Divine mercy, grace, and love. 

This resiliency is definitely a Divine blessing I am forever grateful for. One of our greatest blessing is being able to feel a genuine gratitude that fills our hearts and feeds our souls regardless of what is going on in our lives. 

Henri Nouwen teaches, "when we are spiritually deaf, we are not aware that anything important is happening in our lives. We keep running away from the present moment and we try to create experiences that make our lives worthwhile. So, we fill up our time to avoid the emptiness we otherwise would feel. When we are truly listening, we come to know that God is speaking to us, pointing the way, showing the direction. We simply need to learn to keep our ears open. Discernment is a life of listening to a deeper sound and marching to a different beat, a life in which we become all ears." To feel the gratitude and to be able to see the miracles in your life (and believe me there are always miracles despite all adversity) you need to cultivate this inner tuning, you need to become "all ears."  It is a skill that takes practice to cultivate... A life-long practice of mindfulness, awareness, and heart purification.

I have learned this skill from the two greatest ladies in my life, my late grandmother - may God bless her soul- and my dearest mother - may God protect her and grant her health and happiness in this life and forever after. I've learned from their actions not their words, from their embodiment of the true meaning of faith, gratitude, and resiliency. And, as we are embarking on a new decade in our life, I pray God to help me be an embodiment of  those sacred meanings as well. 

"O' God, You who has the command over our hearts, make my heart unwaveringly steady on Your path"
​"يا مقلب القلوب، ثبت قلبي على دينك"

“God defends those who believe, God does not love the unfaithful, ungrateful” (Quran, 22: 38)
 
After a tough event I was going through in my life, my sheikh, a wise man of few words, advised me to recite this verse everyday. As I started my daily recitation, all what I was thinking about was that I’m the good one, I’m among “those who believe” so God will defend me and my oppressors fall under “the unfaithful, ungrateful” and thus God does not love them. Yet, as the days went by and as I kept repeating the verse over and over again, I found myself delving deeper into the meaning… I realized that the verse wasn’t about the oppressors and the oppressive event… it wasn’t about them… it was all about me… It is about the choice I have to make, do I choose to be among “those who believe” or among “the unfaithful ungrateful”? Do I choose to be among those who God defends or among those who lose His love? The recitation my sheikh instructed me to perform was a daily heart-cleansing exercise, a compass that re-orients my intentions, my thoughts and actions towards Him alone, exalted be He.
​It is that change in perspective that makes all the difference. It’s all about me and my relationship to God, exalted be He. It’s all about the choices I make, the worldview I choose to adopt and the lens through which I choose to see my world. It’s all about me… about my heart and how hard I work at purifying and cleansing it, how diligent I am in the pursuit of ihsān, spiritual excellence, in all my acts and thoughts… It is about how I choose to worship God as if I see Him, although I do not see Him, but He sees me… how I choose to walk the Path of Love and Service with the intention of only seeking God’s love and being His servant. It is not about whoever wronged me. I can’t judge them… I don’t know their motives, their intentions, their hearts… I simply don’t know… What I know, though, is that they were sent my way for a reason… they were here to teach me a lesson that, if I choose, will draw me closer to my Lord, exalted be He.

When I asked my sheikh about forgiveness, he told me that I’m not obliged to forgive; he told me that it was my choice. Forgiveness is a praised value in our Islamic teachings, he explained, but still, it’s optional not obligatory… I could choose not to forgive, that’s my right… My wise sheikh paused for a moment, and then added, “Yet, at a certain point on our spiritual journey, we can go no further if we do not forgive.” It is then that I realized, that again, it is not about “them,” it’s not about whoever wronged me… it’s all about me and my relationship with God, exalted be He. Choosing to forgive clears the heart so it’s exclusively His, exalted be He… Choosing to forgive frees me from the chains of worldly gains… I’m seeking Him, and only Him, exalted be He… choosing to forgive shows me that I learned my lesson, I’ve grasped the wisdom embedded in my exhausting tribulation… choosing to forgive is choosing to believe that, as our Prophet teaches, “if all people gather to benefit you, they will not be able to benefit you except with that which God has fore-ordained for you; and, if all of them gather to harm you, they will not be able to afflict you with anything other than that which God has pre-destined against you… The pens had been lifted and the ink had dried up.”
 
It’s the fine work of surrendering to the Divine decree and striving to change your life and your heart for the better… It is the heart that balances every thing; “God does not change the condition of a people until -and unless- they change what is in their soul,” (Q. 13: 11)… until we change what is in our souls… what is in our hearts… See, we’re back to “it’s all about me” it’s all about my heart… it’s not about them… it’s not about retribution… it’s not about waiting for Divine punishment to befall the oppressors… they are simply out of the picture… I need to zoom in… on me… on my heart… on its connection to the Divine, exalted be He… How is this connection? How sincere am I? How free am I?
 
It’s a life-long struggle… a struggle for a wholesome sound heart, qalb salīm  (Qur’an, 26:89). Returning to God at the end of our life with this sound heart is our ultimate aim... A sound heart is one, like Prophet Abraham’s, that is sincerely filled with the truth of Divine Oneness and free from worldly attachments, free from judgements, free from doubts, free from fears, worries, and vain; an empowered heart that has surrendered entirely to its Creator, exalted be He; and that wishes for others all good that it wishes for itself.  ​