Amira Ayad, PhD
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What is self-care any way?

24/7/2017

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The 24th of July is the international self-care day (ISD). The practice was initiated in UK in 2011 to raise awareness of the importance of taking time to take care of your physical and motional needs. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), “Self-Care is what people do for themselves to establish and maintain health, and to prevent and deal with illness. It is a broad concept encompassing hygiene, nutrition, lifestyle, environmental factors, socio-economic factors, and self-medication.”

In my years of practice I saw that when scientists talk about self-care, the recommendations are so dry and crude: eat healthy (whatever this means), exercise, connect with family and friends, manage your stresses… and the list goes on and on…
We all know that, but how the heck can we do it?
  • We know that we have to eat healthy, but this peace of cake is the only ‘sweetness’ that we have in life
  • We know that we need to exercise but we lack the energy to even get out of bed in the morning
  • We know that we need to connect with family and friends but everyone in busy in their own little bubble and Facebook gave us the illusion that we are connected but are we, really?
  • We know that we need to manage our stresses but we keep running and running like a headless chicken we don’t even know what we are running for (or from)…
 
How can we take care of ourselves if, deep inside, we believe that we are not really worth it?
How can we take care of ourselves if, deep inside, we are filled with shame and blame and ruthless comparison with those photoshopped images and beauty products ads?
 
I believe that self-care stems from self-love. It all starts with self-love, self-acknowledgement and self-appreciation.

I had a question from a reader lately asking me to elaborate on the why? Why should we care about our physical, mental and spiritual health?
  • You basically cannot eat healthy if you do not believe that your body is precious enough and deserve to be taken care of.
  • You won’t find the stamina to be physically active if you do not start from a place of passion about life and your role in it.
  • Your family and friends will appreciate you, believe in you and support you as much as you are willing to appreciate, believe in and support yourself first.
  • And you will keep running and running like a headless chicken until you give yourself permission to pause, breathe and choose…
 
The why starts by feeling how precious you are. You are the creation of God, you are beautiful, you are loved, you are acknowledged by your Creator and you should start by taking care of those 2 precious gifts He gave you: You Body & your Soul.
 
So, here my friends are my 3 essential steps to start with:

  1. List all the things you love about yourself (even if your high school teacher disagrees), all your achievements (small, big or tiny), all your talents, powers, potentials (physical ,mental or emotional)…. You have my permission to toot your own horn here!
  2. Now, embody those traits and characters. Feel them, acknowledge them and live them… Remember, you have to believe in yourself first for people to believe in you.
  3. Make a list of your ‘apples’ and have one every day for the next 7 days. Apples are things that make you genuinely happy, fulfilled, thrilled, and/or replenished. If you did not read my ‘apples’ story, you can find it Here.
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Generating happiness

18/7/2017

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Last October, I held a 7-day happiness challenge in our Body Whispers Facebook group. I believe there is no better time to re-take the challenge than now. 24th of July is the international self-care day. So, we better be ready!
 
For the next 7 days you will focus on generating joy and happiness into your life. Yes, you are the one responsible for generating your own happiness. Happiness is your own decision!
 
By focusing on 1 thing that makes you happy every day this lifts up your mood for the whole day...
 
Here we go:

​1. Day #1: Slow down: Enjoy you favourite tea (or coffee)

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We will start easy and slow. Today we'll establish the fact that HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE! Yes, it is our choice to be happy regardless the pains, challenges or stresses we are facing. Happiness is there; if we focus we will find it. Today, you are going to take at least 10 minutes (30 or 60 min will be better - but 10 is the least you can do for yourself!) Take 10 minutes to savour your best tea or coffee. Use your favourite mug or china and take the time to savour every sip. Take in life, joy, and happiness. Take the decision to be happy... You deserve it!

​2. Day #2: Time to Dream (BIG!)

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If you have been following me for some time, you probably know how I insist on journaling... Many women hate me for this but they love me after they see the effect on their lives... I am not asking you to journal today... but today challenge is writing down your BIG DREAM in your journal.
Happiness studies on Harvard students showed that the difference between happy and unhappy students was that happy students had a big dream or a big vision that they look forward to and they take steady baby steps towards it.
Today your mission -if you choose to accept it- is to take few minutes to dream big... if money, time or space were no objections; if anything was possible, what would you like to BE, DO and HAVE in your life? What is your big audacious dream?
Don't be afraid to DREAM BIG... don't censor yourself and don't allow this tiny little annoying voice in your head to stop you... I don't care if your dream is to build the first hooka lounge on the moon or travel the world in 80 seconds... Write it down! And share with us on this post... Who knows may be you will find someone who will help you take the first step! 
Writing down your dream and announcing it to the world give the message to your subconscious mind that you are serious, so you will start noticing opportunities, chances, ideas that you didn't see before... it will seem like magic but it is not magic, it is science... "You'll see it when you believe it!"

3. Day #3: Have an ‘apple’

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If you read any of my previous books or attended any of my workshops, you would surely be familiar with 'Apples'. It all started when I gave birth to my first child. Back then, I was working as a teaching assistant in the faculty of pharmacy. I loved my job with all its time-consuming efforts. But, with a newborn baby, I could no longer resume my work. I took maternity leave and spent my days and nights taking care of my child and my house. Janna, my daughter, was born two years later, and my leave extended. I loved my kids, enjoyed a happy marriage and a caring loving husband. Still, I was very stressed, anxious and unhappy. I cried almost every day without knowing why. One day, I read a book that changed my life: Nurturing Yourself and Others. In her book, the author explained how she was suffering from the same symptoms when, like me, she had every reason to be happy. Her counsellor put it for her in a simple, yet beautiful way: “Think of yourself as an apple barrel” he advised. The apple barrel is only useful if it actually holds some apples. If we keep giving our apples to our kids, spouse, family, colleagues, and friends, we will soon run out of apples and feel worthless. To restore our function in life we have to replenish our supply of apples. 
And this became my first advice to any of my friends, family, students and clients… Find your source of apples! 
Apples are things that make you genuinely happy, fulfilled, thrilled, and/or replenished. It might be reading a book, playing with your kid, walking barefoot on green grass, collecting shells from a sandy beach, spending some time with a friend, drawing, painting, cooking, quilting, fishing, running, writing poetry, fixing the car, playing video games, meditating... Think, and make your own list. Pick one apple from the list and have it TODAY! 

4. Day #4: Keep moving

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​I know the word exercise makes many people cringe! I am not asking you here to 'officially' exercise - unless this makes you happy of course... I am just challenging you to move your body...
Movement doesn’t have to be a boring task or a burden. We can make it enjoyable. Find motivation. Find a buddy, put on some music, be creative, make it fun! It is now scientifically proven that movement raise your endorphin levels, boost your mood, calm down the nerves and reduce stress levels.
Try some stretching, yoga postures, Zumba, Pilates, walk your dog or your cat, play with your toddler, or just sway to your favorite tune...

5. Day #5: Random act of self-love!

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Deep at heart, lovely lady who are reading this post and following this happiness challenge, you are brave, you are confident, you are the one who holds your house, your family, your kids, your community together…
But, you’re also a beautiful fragile soul that has been running on dry for so long and now feels stuck, depleted, and exhausted.
You’re a kind, caring, loving heart that nurtured everyone around it and now endures the silent pain of emptiness, loneliness and boredom…
 
It’s time to care for yourself the way you cared for everyone and everything else... Today, you are going to perform a "Random Act of Love... Towards Yourself"

This could be an 'apple', another tea, a walk in the park, an appreciation letter... or even just look yourself into the eyes in the mirror and say "I love you the way you are... You're not perfect, no body is... but you are enough... you're beautiful enough... smart enough... brave enough..."

6. Day #6: Detox- emotionally before physically!

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Time to DETOX! But not your body... your heart & soul.

Toxic emotions are more damaging than toxic food!
Sometimes we can't remove 'toxic people' from our lives, but we can refuse to allow their poisons to reach our heart and dim our soul...

What toxic emotions are you allowing into your heart? What toxic emotions are causing your happiness to wither?

Do you need to forgive someone -even yourself?
Do you need to release some anger, rage or frustration?
Do you need to finally let go of those pains and rancour?
Are there any jealousy... fear... doubts... shame or blame lurking in the dark shadow of your life?

Time to release them all... time to detox...

The first step in detoxing your emotions is acknowledging them... Emotions are not good or bad in themselves, they are just signposts that show us what need to change in our life... Again... we need to LISTEN!

So, What's the most toxic emotion you pledge to let go of TODAY?

7. Day #7: Pay it forward

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What's a better way to wrap up our happiness challenge than to make another person happy... 
Today take the time to 'Pay it forward'... Pass the happiness to someone who deserves it, or even to someone who simply needs it... I love the film 'Pay it forward by Kevin Spacey & Helen Hunt... if you didn't see it, it's a good watch... I wrote about it in my blog some times ago Here. 

Drawing a smile on another person's face makes our heart sing! It genuinely makes us happy... 
Ask yourself: Who can use a boost of happiness today? Who would love a thank you note or a gratitude call? Who would appreciate a hot tea or an un-expected gift?

Think and be creative... 
Let us all know how it worked for you, let's lift our spirit up!
 
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    About the Author

    Hi, I'm Amira... I'm all for simple, natural, uncomplicated life... My core values are derived from my Islamic faith... My definition of wellness includes lots of smiles, human interactions, delicious food, music, joy, colorful paint, Mediterranean sunshine, blue sky and turquoise sea, care, love, compassion and deep heart-felt peace.
    I love learning… I love books and art supplies… And, I am saddened by human conflict and intolerance.
     
    I am an introvert who loves being around people... I love building communities and gathering around the kitchen table... I am a teacher at heart... I simplify complex health science and speak openly about heart and soul stuff...

    I've been helping people on their health and healing journey for more than 20 years now and I am committed to be authentic, caring and a beacon of love and peace.

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 Disclaimer
My wellness coaching, workshops, teachings, and all the services I provide are at all times restricted to education, teaching and training on the subject of natural health matters intended for general natural health well-being and do not involve the diagnosing, prognosticating, treatment, or prescribing of remedies for the treatment of any disease, or any licensed or controlled act which may constitute the practice of  medicine. 
Any questions? Please email me at info@amiraayad.com 

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