He made you doubt yourself, not only your worth, but also your sanity. Life became a huge struggle… you’re caught in a constant whirlwind, never-ending drama. He feeds off drama. It fills his emptiness. His unpredictability drives you crazy. One day he is the perfect lover- romantic, giving, charming. And the next, he is not even there. He disappears without prior notice. Without any known reason. He just vanishes and leaves you with a note of guilt-ridden blames and threats. He’s always the victim and you have to apologize, to beg and get down on your knees in order to prove that you deserve his presence in your life. Or, maybe he does not leave. He stays but tortures you with a silent treatment. You have to keep guessing what have you possibly done to upset him? Either way, you need to beg and plead for forgiveness… By now, you are brainwashed into believing that you cannot survive without him. You believe that you are not worthy of a better treatment. You are powerless and helpless. You’ll never be able to make it on your own. You’re a total failure. This is the message you are constantly receiving from him… Yet, before the world, he portrays you as a great, amazing, and highly accomplished woman… This portrait is essential to complete his perfect image… His image of greatness, of the perfect man, the caring and supportive husband who is always there for his wife… and who in the world would believe you if you dare to challenge this image? How can a man who speaks so highly of you be the same person who is damaging you and your kids? He is full of contradictions… contradictions that only you can see… The entire world sees his perfect face – a bit weird, maybe- but perfect. Aren’t all geniuses weird? You ungrateful woman! How dare you object or complain?
 
Soon enough, you find yourself isolated from the world. He has to make sure you are broken and lonely so that you’ll never leave him… this is how much he loves you - in his own twisted way. He cannot imagine his life without you. You have to remain his. He presents as the most confident human being, yet he’s so broken, he’s vulnerable.  He’s helpless. He cannot survive on his own. Deep in his heart he knows this fact. This is why he must keep you by his side forever. You have to remain his. He owns you and is taking you for granted. He breaks you… breaks your self-esteem, your spirit, your social life, your career, everything… so you only have him… So you remain his… So you could never leave. You are left with all those years of manipulation and emotional blackmail… all those weeks and months of silent treatment… all those times when he disappeared when you and your kids needed him the most… he just vanished and sent threatening notes telling you that he is abandoning you for good… all those times he left you and your kids with no money, no words, no support… all those instances when he showed his frightening face of anger for no apparent reason… all those times when you begged for forgiveness not even knowing what you are apologizing for… all those times when he left you broken, ill and depressed crying yourself to sleep and wishing and praying that you never wakeup again… How can you ever be the same again? He broke you, killed this beautiful innocent spirit inside you, whether intentionally or unintentionally… you don’t care any more… he made you not only doubt yourself, but also hate yourself – hate that you are not good enough and never will be… hate that you are not worthy of love… you believed those lies… The truth is that he never actually loved you… he does not really know what love is. He’s empty, a hollow shell that used you to fill his emptiness and weld the cracks of his soul… You would have lovingly done that if he hadn’t destroy you in the process… You might never be able to understand why? Why did he try to destroy the one person who loved him the most? May be your problem is that you looked at him as an idol, you put him on a pedestal, you refused to enjoy your own life until you see him fulfilled and happy… isn’t that the way you were raised as a girl in a patriarchal culture? The pious faithful wife should be the candle who burns for her husband to enjoy the light.
 
Psychologists see that the main characteristics of a Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) are underlying feeling of emptiness, deep emotional pain, instability of mood, self-image and relationships, and an impulsivity that is potentially damaging to himself and to those around him.[1] A person with BPD is usually very intense, oscillating between feelings of rage to depression in a very short period of time.[2] Although he seldom shows it, a person with BPD struggles with self-identity and dysfunctional emotions and usually consciously or subconsciously engages in self-harming behaviours.[3] They have poor impulse control and conceal a constant fear of abandonment. [4] They are usually impatient, unpredictable, and moody. They lack empathy and are unable to see beyond their own feelings and needs. They prefer to detach from social life and struggle with constant anxiety.
High functioning borderlines are living among us. They are “quiet”… their symptoms are hidden from the world as they somehow manage to navigate everyday life and cope with personal and professional demands.
I believe that many of the personality disorders are not strictly illnesses. These are people who have their special talents and intellectual gifts. Many borderlines are known for their math genius, creative skills, and out-of-the-box thinking. The world needs their brilliant mind. God created it this way for a reason. Yet, they need to learn to deal with the outside world and see it from other people’s perspective. They are victims of their genius brain. They don’t understand human emotions the same way most of us do. They process information differently… They lack empathy and are unable to see beyond their own needs. Their special brain function makes them confused, even terrified at times. Their erratic behaviour is a self-defence mechanism for the emptiness and alienation they feel inside. They consciously or unconsciously sabotage their relationships because they are hungry for human connections, yet so scared of abandonment.
 
But, what is a wife to do? You tried… for years and years you tried… You withstood years of emotional torture until you lost your health, your smile, your passion for life, your career, and almost lost your mind and even at times, your faith. You lost everything. For years, you sacrificed. Yet, it was never enough. The emptiness inside him is never fulfilled and will never be. You can never “fix” anyone especially if he believes that nothing is wrong with him… He is perfect, remember?
 
How do you know that it is time to leave? You are constantly wondering whether he is doing whatever he is doing intentionally or unintentionally? Is he purposefully hurting you? Is he hurting as well? And, should you even care? At some point, you stop caring… At some point, you finally decide to put yourself and your kids first… At some point, you decide to say no… you do not even try to explain… there in no point in explaining… no point in trying to justify your decision or rationalize it… In his mind, he will always be the victim. But, then, as soon as he feels that he will lose you, he will once more behave. It is a cycle that keeps repeating over and over again. Apologizing, crying, begging, offering love and sacrifices… anything to get you back…
 
The day has come. Enough is enough… You leave and this helpless loving puppy turns into a monster whose sole role is to destroy you. Yet, again, in his twisted mind, he is still the victim. You are the villain who dared to leave his warm loving nest, his golden cage. You dared to break the chains. Lies and cheating come so naturally to him… He is so confident and everyone believes him… Why wouldn’t they? He planned for this all his life. He chose you very carefully. He chose a trustworthy, honest, yet broken woman who would never betray his secret or reveal his true nature to the world. He never lost his cool in front of others. He is in total control of his temper, of his emotions- as he simply hasn’t any – he has no emotions… No feelings… No empathy. This is not an exaggeration. This is real. He “understands” emotions with his rational mind. He interprets them, analyses them and logically “gets” them, but he cannot “feel” them. He’s an empty shell, a dark black hole that slowly and skilfully sucked life out of you that you didn’t even notice that you were suffocating. Like boiling the frog… you were slowly dying but you were totally unaware… you became a walking dead… an empty shell like him… you were just living wishing for those endless days to come to an end. And, then, the time came when you finally realized that he does not deserve you. He does not deserve your love… the time came when you finally decided to walk away forever… let his empty shell forever stay empty and cracked.
 
 
“You know you have healed when you can tell your story without shedding any more tears”
And, “You know you have matured when you don't care if other people know your side of the story.”
– Anonymous quotes

___________________________________
[1] W. Edward Craighead, Psychopathology, 562.
[2] Susan W. Gray, Psychopathology: A Competency-Based Assessment Model for Social Workers, 4th ed. (Boston: Cengage Learning, 2016), 502-503.
[3] Susan Gray, Psychopathology, 502-503.
[4] Ibid.

Roseto Valfortore is a small town in Italy. In 1882, 11 Rosetans migrated to the US and settled in a small town in Pennsylvania. Soon, more Roseteans followed them. They all started their own tiny village and called it Roseto. If you stepped into the village back then, you would feel the highly connected society: they all spoke Italian; they knew each other; they greeted one another on the streets and gathered in their church every Sunday.
 
One day, Stewart Wolf, an American cardiologist, was talking to a friend about the rising rate of heart disease in America. His friend mentioned that there is no heart disease in Roseto. Wolf was amazed. How could this possibly be? He paid a visit to the newly established town and conducted some research. The statistics were staggering: No heart disease in Roseto!
Wolf investigated all the possible reasons behind this ‘strange’ phenomenon:
·      These people secret did not lie in their diet (their obesity rate was like everywhere else in the States),
·      It wasn’t exercise either (they weren’t doing anything extra),
·      It wasn’t health habits (the % of those who smoked or drank alcohol was like anywhere else in America),
·       And, it wasn’t genetics (he studied Rosetians who migrated to other places in the States),
 
So what was it? It was rather their bonds!!! The social structure Rosetians tightly preserved, the loving and caring society they built, and the spiritual beliefs they safeguarded literally protected their hearts and possibly protected all other aspects of their physical and emotional heath.
 
Well, it might seem strange to talk about human bonds and connections in this challenging time of physical distancing and social isolation. But, let’s face it. Human connection is an essential need… an integral part of being human. No one can deny that even the most introverted persons like myself. And, in this COVID era, loneliness is looming over our lives, over everyone’s life and it could be affecting not only our emotions but also our physical health.

I recently sat with a widow who lost her husband to COVID. They had been together for 60 years. They have no children and no relatives in Canada. She was grieving 60 years of love and connection… grieving that she could not give him a goodbye hug or throw him a proper funeral… grieving not having their friends around her for comfort and to share precious memories… A deep feeling of loneliness was surrounding her life… she described it as sinking into a deep dark cave.
 
Loneliness is radically different from solitude. Loneliness is not about being alone; it is rather about feeling helpless, powerless and lack of belonging. As human beings, we need to feel seen and heard.
Sharing her pains and deep sadness helped ease the widow’s loneliness.  She is still grieving, yet she felt heard and seen. She lifted a burden off her heart and started to slowly climb out of her deep dark cave.
 
I believe that human bonding and connection have never been more important than they are now, in this new reality of the pandemic we are living, the new norm that is here to stay for God knows how long. The way out of loneliness or isolation is to love more deeply… A kind of love that encompasses every aspect of our life, of ourselves and of everyone around us.
 
In order for us to deal with loneliness, we need to be comfortable with ambiguity. We need to approach life with love and awe seeing the wisdom in every experience even the most tragic ones. We need to learn to relax expectations, to give greater weight on momentary joys, to experience life more deeply, and to balance healthy attachments with detachments and engagement with relinquishing.
 
We also need to engage in self-reflection, establish a friendship with ourselves and connect with our feelings on a much deeper level. And, as Henri Nouwen teaches, when we reach deeper into our hearts, we sit in deep reflection with our powerlessness and listen to “that place within us where our deepest desires align with God’s desire.”
 
​Our loneliness requires courage to keep going. It requires patience, flexibility, and trust. Our darkest moments help us slow down, reflect at, and absorb life lessons, challenges, and trials.  It helps us find the perfect rhythm that synchronizes our heart with the delicate flow of life, with all its ups and downs, joys and sorrows.
 
Despite the challenging times we are living, we are still meant to enjoy the ride with all its bumps and troughs… we are meant to find happiness amidst the rubbles… Happiness in honouring the struggle and staying curious about the endless possibilities it is bringing… Happiness is finding excitement on every corner and joy in every lesson… Happiness in learning and growing… in serving… happiness in connecting… even if we need to sometimes dig deeper into our lonely hearts to find those connections.
 

Yes, life is a big test, “Do people think that they will be left on saying, "We believe", and that they will not be tested?” (Q. 69:2). Yet, life is not supposed to be a miserable experience (Q. 20:2). The challenges are here to teach us something, help us grow, and lead us on our Straight Path.
It is up to us to find the beauty hidden among the wracks and debris of our lives and to learn to walk even when it seems dark and gloomy. As we keep taking steps forward, we’ll start seeing the light again. I’ve been there, I’ve learned to keep walking in the dark… I’ve learned to trust and “Just keep swimming” like little Dori in Finding Nemo… Just Keep Swimming.

Despite the challenging times we are living, we are still meant to enjoy the ride with all its bumps and troughs… we are meant to find happiness amidst the rubbles… Happiness in honouring the struggle and staying curious about the endless possibilities it is bringing… Happiness is finding excitement on every corner and joy in every lesson… Happiness in learning and growing… in serving… happiness in connecting… … Join our Positivity Challenge HERE and let’s dig deeper into our lives and our hearts to find grace, joy and happiness…

We will work on, reflect on and journal about 10 positive declarations in 10 days. Let’s add positivity to our daily experience. Let’s find grace and gratitude in our daily challenges.

​His student asked his permission to treat his cataract. “You taught us,” he pleaded hoping that the great 10th  century physician would accept. But Rhazes denied, “I’ve seen enough of this world,“ he replied. Weeks later, Rhazes (Abu Bakr al-Razi) , the greatest physician of his time, passed away in his bed… Blind… and broke.
 
Could blindness be a choice? Blindness to the cruelty the world and suffering of the soul…
Blindness is not a mere loss of eyesight. Many of us unconsciously live blind... looking yet not seeing… And, others choose to deliberately live blind. Their world is too harsh to endure otherwise. Our heroine is one of them. For years, she chose to live blind. She turned off the light, put down the blinds, and closed her eyes. She lived in her tiny cocoon isolated from the world. She felt safer this way… warmer in a cold-hearted world… richer in a poor-spirited community… peaceful in a violent surrounding… But, soon the darkness seeped into her soul… eroded her body and sucked the life out of her… She was dead inside. Every morning, she drew the most beautiful smile on her face and went on with her daily duties…
 
Joseph Campbell, in his Hero’s Journey, would call this phase the Innermost Cave… Christian mystics call it the dark night of the soul… and the Sufis call it contraction… Yet, in all those traditions, this phase is not the end of the journey. It is just the beginning. It is “God’s silence and our own – working as an entryway into an unmediated experience of the Divine.” It is this “wondrous night that beckons us all into a fuller, more intimate experience of the Divine. So much that sustains our lives and souls can only happen in the dark of night.”[1]
Campbell’s hero’s transformation only take place after the hero acknowledges his vulnerability taking all the time he needs in his Innermost Cave. Like herbs releasing their medicine only after percolating for weeks into the dark cold menstruum, our soul finds its elixir into the darkest contraction of our hearts.

​The ancient Yin and Yang symbol holds a light dot in its dark swirl – reminding us of the ever presence of hope in the midst of suffering. It also depicts a dark dot in its light swirl – reminding us to remain humble in times of brightness and growth… “In order that you do not despair over what has eluded you and not over-exult in pride over what God has given you” (Q. 57: 23). ​

​Our suffering requires courage to keep going. It requires patience, flexibility, and trust. Our darkest moments help us slow down, reflect at, and absorb life lessons, challenges, and trials.  It helps us find the perfect rhythm that sets in coherence our inner-self with our outer reality… that synchronizes our heart with the delicate flow of life, with all its ups and downs, joys and sorrows. Yet, to reach this heart coherence, we need to mollify our brain endless chatter… We need the silence of our Innermost Cave in order for us to hear the whispers of our soul… we need to be willing to open our heart to receive the subtle grace that the Divine offers us every step along your way.
 
Yes, blindness is a choice… but our heroine does not have to choose it… We do not have to choose it… We can choose, instead, to shut our eyes and retreat in our Innermost Cave for as long as we need to… We’re not turning blind eyes… We’re closed for restoration!
_______________________
[1] Robert H. Hopcke, “Spiritual direction and mystical experience,” in Sharing Sacred Stories.

It is estimated that nearly one quarter of Canadians suffer from hypertension, a leading risk factor for cardiovascular diseases. But, it is interesting to know that most cases of hypertension are classified as primary or essential hypertension, which means that the exact reason for blood pressure rise is not known.
 
Although conventional medicine attribute the cause of hypertension to dietary choices, sedentary lifestyle and stress, traditional medicines have always added a deeper mystical understanding. In traditional medicine, blood is our lifeline. The smooth flow of blood in our blood vessels represent a smooth, harmonious, and joyful life flow. When the flow of life is constricted/restricted, so would be the blood inside its vessels.
 
According to ancient Indian medicine, at least one of the first four main chakras are associated with hypertension problems: the root chakra, the sacral chakra, the solar plexus, and the heart chakra.

• The first chakra is your root, your foundation. It holds your primary sense of belonging – belonging to a family in its larger sense including the feeling of safety, home, peace, and harmony. The first chakra regulates musculoskeletal health along with the adrenal function, which determines our tolerance/response to stress – the adrenaline secretion that, when activated, prepare the body to fight or flee (raising heart rate, increasing blood pressure and slowing down digestion). Furthermore, chronic stress sustain the release of cortisol, a hormone that raises blood pressure, blood sugar level, causes muscle tension, and suppresses immune function.

 

• The second chakra It is the centre of creativity, joy, passion, physical and emotional intimacy, and life flow. It mainly controls sexual organs and to a large extent body fluids, a main player in the blood pressure regulation.  Our kidneys regulate water and electrolyte balances – managing blood pressure.

 

• The third chakra is the seat of your emotions. Those deep feelings of love and hate, courage and fear, acceptance and anger,... all are lodged here in your solar plexus, stored in your liver, gall bladder, and stomach. Many -or maybe most- of the malfunctions at this centre arise from repressed, unregulated or uncontrolled emotions and unmanaged life stresses. Poor digestion and nervous stomach are common disorders associated with the third chakra malfunctions. Worry, anxiety, and unmanaged daily life stresses are early signs of “gut feeling” that need to be addressed. And, stress is the main culprit in cardiovascular problems including hypertension.

 

• The fourth is the heart chakra, the centre of love with all its meanings - romantic and spiritual, physical and metaphysical. Your heart is the link between your physical realm and your spiritual one, that’s why balancing your heart energy is essential in achieving holistic balance. And, balance means taking care of whole of you: body, mind, heart & soul. The heart chakra regulates heart function and blood circulation in addition to lungs and breathing.

 
As you can see, more than one chakra is always involved in any health challenge—especially in chronic physical disorders like hypertension. Restoring your health entails managing all aspects of your life (physical, mental , emotional , and spiritual).[1]

 
Energy Restoration:
 
If you find it hard to control your blood pressure, it is time to listen closely to your own body… What is your body trying to tell you? What message is it trying to deliver? Which of the four Chakras is/are out of balance?
 
 
First Chakra

• Strengthen your support. Family support is an essential element in your foundation’s health. Think about the house you live in. How could your feel more “at home”?
• Connect with Nature.
• Be aware of your movements, especially your daily routine activities. Movement is a powerful energizer of our first chakra.
• Prepare Food for Your Family.
• Clear the Clutter. Living in a clean, orderly, and uncluttered environment is a first chakra energizer.
• Get a Foot Massage.
• Support your adrenals – Your adrenals need coenzyme Q10, vitamin C, B vitamins, and omega 3 oils.

 
Second chakra

• Water has a powerful cleansing effect on all of the energy system. You can restore your second chakra balance through bubble baths or warm showers. You can energize it by standing under the rain, going to the beach or practicing water sports like swimming and water skiing.
• Live with passion. The second chakra is the centre of creativity and life enjoyment. To energize it, you need to find pleasures, meanings and values in everyday experience. You need to step out of your comfort zone and try new stuff that makes you happy and bring you material, spiritual, mental, and emotional satisfaction.
• Adopt a New Hobby. Learning a new skill or adopting a new hobby is about adding gratification to your life and also about boosting your creative powers, the two main sides of your second chakra.
• Engage Your Senses. Let your sensual indulgence flow naturally and spontaneously throughout your daily experiences by cultivating awareness of your five senses (sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch). Although your life should be structured, planned, and organized (functions of the first chakra), it should be far from rigid. Flexibility, harmony, and flow are essential for a healthy second chakra.
• Simplify and beautify your Surrounding.

 
 
Third Chakra

• The sun is a major third chakra booster. UV rays of sunlight help lowering blood pressure, reducing cholesterol, increasing heart efficiency, boosting metabolism, increasing sex hormones levels, and sustaining the health of the eye retina.
• Finding your path, your true vocation and life calling is essential for establishing health, vitality and happiness. The journey starts here at your solar plexus by re-evaluating your resources, your strengths, your talents and potentials; by boosting your self-confidence, self-worth and self-esteem; and by committing to your true values and vocations.
• Love who you are, acknowledge your human limitations and be less critical and judgmental of yourself. Surround yourself with a loving, caring, and compassionate community. Connect with your family and friends and receive and give support. A healthy support system is essential in a stressful world.
• Breathing Exercises adjust, synchronize, and harmonize the diaphragm movement thus restoring balance not only at the third chakra level but also at whole body levels.

 
Fourth Chakra

• Awareness. The first step in restoring heart balance is actually recognizing that we are tumbling out of balance. Awareness is the key in every aspect of your life. Ironically, the more we struggle to stay in control, the less balanced we become.
• Perform a Random Acts of Kindness. Serving others feed your heart.
• Keep smiling. Studies in the field of positive psychology show that pessimism is very strongly associated with poor health and heart problems. Research has proven over and over again that the feeling of optimism, having a life meaning, mastery of your conditions and experiences, and having positive attitudes and emotions towards life are major indicators of your susceptibility to heart and cardiovascular diseases. These findings were more indicative of predicted death from heart attacks and cardiovascular problems than more conventionally stated risk factors like high blood pressure, elevated cholesterol, diet and lifestyle habits, obesity, smoking, and personality types.
• Learn your love language. Love, the essential food for the heart, is a very important asset in relationship building. Dr. Gary Chapman, the author of The Five Love Languages, sees that each person understands and communicates love in his/her own language – be it gifts, acts of service, words of appreciation, physical touch… To restore your heart energy, you need to understand, receive, and deliver the right messages of love. 

 
Now, it is your turn to reflect. Which aspect(s) of those chakra energy is missing from your life?
What do you need to change/ add/ eliminate?
Listen to your body… What does it need in order to heal?
Write your own healing prescription…

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[1] It is very important to note here that if the malfunction reaches a stage where it is manifested physically, an experienced physician should be consulted. The advice given here can in no way compensate for a proper medical intervention or treatment, when such is required. 

I knew Samira for years before her breast cancer diagnosis. When she was first diagnosed, Samira was a single mother of three school-aged children. She was a hard-working janitor with no other source of income and no relatives or close friends to rely on. All she had was the tiny wage she was earning cleaning schools all week. With no medical insurance, Samira could not afford conventional medical treatment. “Either I pay for my chemotherapy or feed and educate my kids. This is not a hard choice to make, is it?” She told me with the usual serene smile on her face.   Samira quickly set her priorities straight. Her primary role, she decided, is to take care of her children and provide them with a good education so that they won’t face the same difficult life she was leading; and that she would do so until her last breath. As a religious person, Samira felt she had a mission to live for and placed her total trust in God. She believed that “God does not burden any soul with more than it can handle” (Q. 2:286). She drew on her sincere faith to gain an incredible determination and strength that enabled her to carry on with her mission with a deep meaning and purpose. Although she couldn’t afford medication, Samira assumed responsibility for her health by getting the best nutritional and alternative help she could afford. She lived in the moment and carried on with her life in total satisfaction and surrender to the Divine. Today, ten years later, Samira is a grandmother, her daughter is happily married; her elder son is a successful accountant working to support her and his younger college-student brother. No sign left of her cancer.
Life or health challenges can open the door for spiritual growth and life transformation. For many people, those physical challenges can change the way they approach and appreciate life, draw them closer to God and to their community, give them feeling of safety and peace, and boost their sense of self-esteem, strength, and worthiness. For others, facing such crisis may precipitate emotional trauma, lead them to question their faith, fall into helplessness and self-blame, or succumb to anger and resentment.[1] It is your choice! I am not saying it is an easy one, though. Nevertheless, it is a conscious intentional path that we need to embark on. Our first step is that conscious choice!


[1] Ellen G. Levine et. al. Ethnicity and Spirituality in Breast Cancer Survivors. Journal of cancer survivorship. Volume  1: 3   2007/ Pages 212-225.

It is estimated that psychosis affects around 2% of all population across all ages.[1] From evolutionary perspective, those traits must have survived because they are required to play a role in human development: leadership, working under extreme pressure, thinking out of the box, wild creativity, invention, art and poetry… are among many characteristics found in people suffering from different forms of psychosis like schizophrenia and bipolar disorders.

It is interesting to see that no traditional culture looked at those traits as disease or impairment. People affected were regarded as different, yes, but they were still considered “normal.” Their atypical behavior was part of the grand scheme of the societal structure. And, who has the right to define “normal”? Nowadays, evidence-based healthcare relies heavily on statistical analysis of a collected data. Lennard Davis argues that the use of statistics, which began in the 1800s by eugenicists, aimed, and in most cases is still aiming, at establishing the “normal distribution” of human beings in an attempt to reduce deviation from the norm.[2] This idea of the norm in itself is a tyranny that ignores many aspects of the human experience trying to fit the entire population into well-defined boxes.

Even the neurotransmitter theory, it is just that, a theory.[3] We know that dopamine is elevated in people with schizophrenia and that serotonin is low in people suffering from depression. But, we don’t know whether it is a cause or an effect: Is the elevated dopamine level causing the schizophrenia, the bipolar or the psychosis, or is it caused by them? And, is the reduced serotonin level causing the depression or is it caused by it? No one really knows.

The human brain is way more complicated than our neurotransmitter or neurobiological model of reality. People experiencing those symptoms have always been assimilated into society. They were “different,” but still “normal.” They were atypical, but still functional. They performed specific roles that no “normal” person can do. Like shamans in native cultures, Joan of Arc in France, and Al-Hallaj in Sufi history, if any of them were to be presented to our modern conventional medical model, they would have been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Yet, at their time and in their culture, they were very special, even gifted individuals and highly esteemed at times.

Joseph Polimeni, a British psychiatrist and author of the book Shamans Among Us, believes that “people with schizophrenia are the modern manifestation of prehistoric tribal shamans.” Nevertheless, he affirms that he still treats his patients within the conventional biopharmacological model, because, we simply have no other alternatives. For those people to be assimilated into society and for them to lead a functional life, our whole social structure needs to be changed. Dr. Gabor Maté, the renowned Canadian psychiatrist, sees that a person with schizophrenia in a tribal culture holds a better chance of survival and well-being than one following the Western medical model.[4] Our view on mental illness cannot be removed from the person’s context and culture. Our Western materialistic and individualistic society focuses on achievements and possessions cutting off emotional, social, and spiritual needs, which, according to Maté, separates us from ourselves and paves the road for pathology.[5] Unfortunately, those ancient cultural and tribal modes of life do not exist anymore. They have been crushed under the weight of industrialism and individualism. The nuclear family is not enough nor is the extended family -that still occasionally exists in some communities- to assimilate those individuals’ needs. The whole societal model does not accept or tolerate anyone who is “different.” Sebastian Junger, in his book Tribe, notes how history has never witnessed such high rates of mental illness. As opposed to the traditional tribal culture where everyone is involved in a meaningful community role and purpose, modern Western culture, he adds, and I totally agree, made us feel un-necessary and unimportant, which is one of the main reasons behind modern-day mental disorders.[6]
 
I totally acknowledge that in many cases, those individuals could pose substantial risk on society. They could be violent and even dangerous. But, how do we know that this violence is not triggered by violent media, movies, and video games that we, as a society, are bombarded with on a daily basis? How do we know that this violence is not caused by nutrients deficiency from our genetically manipulated and heavily sprayed food, or by chemical pollution from our toxin-loaded environment, or by viral vulnerability from our highly compromised immune defence?

I believe we are messing with a highly precious gift that God has bestowed upon us, our brain. This highly sophisticated neural system was supposed to be a tool that helps us read “the signs on the horizons and within our souls” (Q. 41: 53), the signs that show us the way to the Truth, to our Creator. It was supposed to be a tool that helps us align our innate heart and soul knowledge of Him (our Fitrah) with our logical, analytical understanding of ourselves, our world, and our life meaning and purpose. This highly precious gift has been corrupted and damaged. It has been confused and disconnected from its source.
 
I don’t want to sound pessimistic, but I honestly can’t envision hope in the near future. This is not because the answer is difficult or untenable, but rather because we are looking for answers in all the wrong places. If we are to effectively find answers to the rising rates of psychosis, mental illness and all chronic diseases for that matter, we need a paradigm shift. In the modern Western biomedical model, the scientific research is still based on and undergirded by the Cartesian-Newtonian dualistic, linear, and reductionist approach to life. This view “not only presents an inaccurate vision of human existence but also contributes to the disease of modern society.”[7] All research concerning our health must conform to the evidence-based, statistical “scientific” model that highly overlooks the multifactorial nature of causation (instead they focus on linear causation); the interconnectedness of mind, body, and soul (instead they see life through the dualistic Cartesian lens of separation); and the interrelated holistic nature of life (versus the isolation, compartmentalization, and individualization view of modern thinking).[8]

In the 1970s, William Dembski introduced his idea of Intelligent Design in an attempt to intersect science and theology. The Intelligent Design theory relies on scientific research while acknowledging the Divine action and order. He advocated broadening our understanding of scientific evidence to include metaphysical first principles and include thoughts, feelings, relationships, and holistic view of life. His theory demonstrates that reinstating the bridge between science and theology can reinvigorate the ethical stream and promote the flourishing of human life.[9] I believe we can make a difference if we start with even the tiniest step towards re-connecting:

• Re-connecting with our pure uncorrupted, unadulterated soul
• Re-connecting with our Creator
• Re-connecting with our life meaning and purpose
• Re-connecting with our family, community, and society
• Re-connecting with our roots and tradition
• Re-connecting with our earth and all God’s creation

 
Sufis teach that if our life journey “appears to move through time and distance, that is not that we can eventually reach God, since ‘He is with you wherever you are’ but rather ‘so that He can cause [us] to see His signs’ that are always there, ‘on the horizons and within [our] souls,’” those signs that lead us to Him.[10] We need to stop ignoring the signs and stop messing with the precious tool God gave us in order for us to heed those signs.
 

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[1] Daniel Nettle. Strong Imagination: Madness, Creativity, and Human Nature (Oxford University Press, 2002)
[2] Davis, L. J.  (2013). The Disability Studies Reader. (4th ed.). New York: Routledge.
[3] Kelly Brogan, A Mind of Your Own: The Truth About Depression and How Women Can Heal Their Bodies to Reclaim Their Lives (Harper Wave, 2016) and Craighead, W. Edward. Miklowitz, David J., and Craighead Linda W. Psychopathology: History, Diagnosis, and Empirical Foundations (3rd ed.). Hoboken: Wiley, 2017.
[4] Gabor Maté, The Myth of Normal (2016). From YouTube, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_j5mmBa4mw (accessed October 30, 2017).
[5] Gabor Maté, The Myth of Normal.
[6] Sebastian Junger, Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging (New York: Harpercollins Publishers, 2016).
[7] Epperly, B. G. (2000). Prayer, Process, and the Future of Medicine. Journal of Religion and Health, 39 (1), 23-37.
[8] Ibid
[9] Dembski, W. (1999). Intelligent Design: The Bridge Between Science and Theology. Illinois: InterVarsity Press.
[10] ʿArabī, The Meccan Revelations.

When I look back at the past two years of my life, I could only see Divine miracles... Although those past two years have been full of tears, pain, fears, worries, and lots of heart and body aches, the fading memories left me with a profound feeling of content and gratitude that fills my heart along with an unshakable sense of trust that keeps me going despite all odds.
Is this what is called resiliency? Or is it faith? Whatever we choose to call it, it remains this sense of deep trust in God and belief that a bigger plan is always in effect and this plan is always carrying within its folds Divine mercy, grace, and love. 

This resiliency is definitely a Divine blessing I am forever grateful for. One of our greatest blessing is being able to feel a genuine gratitude that fills our hearts and feeds our souls regardless of what is going on in our lives. 

Henri Nouwen teaches, "when we are spiritually deaf, we are not aware that anything important is happening in our lives. We keep running away from the present moment and we try to create experiences that make our lives worthwhile. So, we fill up our time to avoid the emptiness we otherwise would feel. When we are truly listening, we come to know that God is speaking to us, pointing the way, showing the direction. We simply need to learn to keep our ears open. Discernment is a life of listening to a deeper sound and marching to a different beat, a life in which we become all ears." To feel the gratitude and to be able to see the miracles in your life (and believe me there are always miracles despite all adversity) you need to cultivate this inner tuning, you need to become "all ears."  It is a skill that takes practice to cultivate... A life-long practice of mindfulness, awareness, and heart purification.

I have learned this skill from the two greatest ladies in my life, my late grandmother - may God bless her soul- and my dearest mother - may God protect her and grant her health and happiness in this life and forever after. I've learned from their actions not their words, from their embodiment of the true meaning of faith, gratitude, and resiliency. And, as we are embarking on a new decade in our life, I pray God to help me be an embodiment of  those sacred meanings as well. 

"O' God, You who has the command over our hearts, make my heart unwaveringly steady on Your path"
​"يا مقلب القلوب، ثبت قلبي على دينك"

“God defends those who believe, God does not love the unfaithful, ungrateful” (Quran, 22: 38)
 
After a tough event I was going through in my life, my sheikh, a wise man of few words, advised me to recite this verse everyday. As I started my daily recitation, all what I was thinking about was that I’m the good one, I’m among “those who believe” so God will defend me and my oppressors fall under “the unfaithful, ungrateful” and thus God does not love them. Yet, as the days went by and as I kept repeating the verse over and over again, I found myself delving deeper into the meaning… I realized that the verse wasn’t about the oppressors and the oppressive event… it wasn’t about them… it was all about me… It is about the choice I have to make, do I choose to be among “those who believe” or among “the unfaithful ungrateful”? Do I choose to be among those who God defends or among those who lose His love? The recitation my sheikh instructed me to perform was a daily heart-cleansing exercise, a compass that re-orients my intentions, my thoughts and actions towards Him alone, exalted be He.
​It is that change in perspective that makes all the difference. It’s all about me and my relationship to God, exalted be He. It’s all about the choices I make, the worldview I choose to adopt and the lens through which I choose to see my world. It’s all about me… about my heart and how hard I work at purifying and cleansing it, how diligent I am in the pursuit of ihsān, spiritual excellence, in all my acts and thoughts… It is about how I choose to worship God as if I see Him, although I do not see Him, but He sees me… how I choose to walk the Path of Love and Service with the intention of only seeking God’s love and being His servant. It is not about whoever wronged me. I can’t judge them… I don’t know their motives, their intentions, their hearts… I simply don’t know… What I know, though, is that they were sent my way for a reason… they were here to teach me a lesson that, if I choose, will draw me closer to my Lord, exalted be He.

When I asked my sheikh about forgiveness, he told me that I’m not obliged to forgive; he told me that it was my choice. Forgiveness is a praised value in our Islamic teachings, he explained, but still, it’s optional not obligatory… I could choose not to forgive, that’s my right… My wise sheikh paused for a moment, and then added, “Yet, at a certain point on our spiritual journey, we can go no further if we do not forgive.” It is then that I realized, that again, it is not about “them,” it’s not about whoever wronged me… it’s all about me and my relationship with God, exalted be He. Choosing to forgive clears the heart so it’s exclusively His, exalted be He… Choosing to forgive frees me from the chains of worldly gains… I’m seeking Him, and only Him, exalted be He… choosing to forgive shows me that I learned my lesson, I’ve grasped the wisdom embedded in my exhausting tribulation… choosing to forgive is choosing to believe that, as our Prophet teaches, “if all people gather to benefit you, they will not be able to benefit you except with that which God has fore-ordained for you; and, if all of them gather to harm you, they will not be able to afflict you with anything other than that which God has pre-destined against you… The pens had been lifted and the ink had dried up.”
 
It’s the fine work of surrendering to the Divine decree and striving to change your life and your heart for the better… It is the heart that balances every thing; “God does not change the condition of a people until -and unless- they change what is in their soul,” (Q. 13: 11)… until we change what is in our souls… what is in our hearts… See, we’re back to “it’s all about me” it’s all about my heart… it’s not about them… it’s not about retribution… it’s not about waiting for Divine punishment to befall the oppressors… they are simply out of the picture… I need to zoom in… on me… on my heart… on its connection to the Divine, exalted be He… How is this connection? How sincere am I? How free am I?
 
It’s a life-long struggle… a struggle for a wholesome sound heart, qalb salīm  (Qur’an, 26:89). Returning to God at the end of our life with this sound heart is our ultimate aim... A sound heart is one, like Prophet Abraham’s, that is sincerely filled with the truth of Divine Oneness and free from worldly attachments, free from judgements, free from doubts, free from fears, worries, and vain; an empowered heart that has surrendered entirely to its Creator, exalted be He; and that wishes for others all good that it wishes for itself.  ​