Ramadan is approaching fast… One week to go.
In our daily life, our hearts grow unavoidably heavy, exhausted, and weary. Our fast-paced life, our endless mental chatter, our daily chores and tasks urge us to run and rush all day long. Even when we rest our bodies at the end of the day, we rarely give our minds a break. Our mind keeps running while watching the news, surfing the net, scanning social media, or following the latest soap opera. Once a year, Ramadan comes to help us reach inner peace in our hearts and souls. Ramadan is the perfect opportunity for soul regeneration, for renewing our intention and reconsidering our life mission and meaning. It is time when we are reminded to live in the moment, truly embrace our sacred connection with God, and let it touch our hearts and revive our souls. Once a year comes the time to recharge our spiritual energy, purify our hearts, and clear our minds along with ridding our bodies from toxic burdens. It is time for refueling and recharging for a whole year to come. But How?
 
Jonathan Haidt in his book The Happiness Hypothesis compared our subconscious mental reality to an elephant that has its own will. And, our analytical, logical conscious mind is the rider on the back of the elephant. The rider seems to hold the rein and direct the elephant right and left… But, don’t be fooled, the rider can never force the elephant into a direction it does not want to go. The elephant is the one running the show… If the rider wants to stay in control, he better tames the elephant… And the best way of doing that is by LISTENING to what the elephant needs.
On one hand, the elephant is wired for self-protection, he only sees what is directly in front of him. He feels immediate pains, seeks immediate pleasures, and is motivated by pure survival instincts (well, food and sex mainly!) … In other words, our elephant has the control button for dopamine release- our feeling good and motivation neurotransmitter. The rider, on the other hand, is a visionary. He can delay gratification for future upcoming success. Yet, he possesses limited strength. Long struggles against willpower exhaust him so his hands get loose on the reins and he lets the elephant roam freely.
 
In our everyday life, we exhaust our ‘rider’ by too many choices, decisions, and useless struggles… We end up stressed and drained because we wear ourselves out with 100s of little daily choices and temptations… from resisting this doughnut with our morning coffee to controlling our temper with daily traffic, to choosing the outfit that makes us look thin or sexy, to managing our cool with the new boss or new employee or teenage boy or toddler…. We face 100s of tiny choices, temptations, and self-control decisions that wear us out. Trying to just go through life with the illusion that only by willpower we can achieve everything is just that: An illusion.
We keep beating ourselves up because we are lazy, we are weak or we didn’t try hard enough. Cut yourself some slack… regardless of how hard you try or how strong you are you can never pull the elephant if he does not want to come along with you.
As we are talking about Ramadan, We have always learned that Ramadan fasting is there to strengthen this self-control muscle… it is there to train us to be more in control of our desires… but unfortunately, we got the mechanism all wrong… if we treat our fasting as a mere training of self-restriction and self-control… we will be further wearing off our self-control muscle… this is why we see fasting people in this holy month more irritable, stressed, angry, and doing all sort of wrong stuff that fasting should actually solve not cause.
 
For Muslims, Ramadan fasting is not a mere physical exercise that trains us to withstand hunger.
Neither is it a mere psychological exercise that trains us to control our desires, temptations and urges.
Rather, Ramadan fasting is first and foremost a spiritual practice. “O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may attain piety (God-consciousness).” (Quran, 2: 183)
 
Training our self-control muscles does not mean pulling harder on the rein and fighting the elephant. On the contrary, it means making peace with this elephant and motivating him to walk the path we want to walk.
We can only do that if we slow down, silence the chatter, purify our hearts, and LISTEN.
We can only do that if we reach inner peace within our hearts and souls.
This peace is achieved by slowing down and silencing the mind chatter… reaching this inner stillness in an increasingly noisy world. The silence we cultivate should strengthen our connection with God, with ourselves, with our family, with the whole society, and with our life meaning and purpose.
 
So, as we are approaching the holy month, I invite you to slow down… relax… take a deep breath… roll back your shoulders… and LISTEN! Deep inside, your heart knows its path… it knows its mission, it knows its direction and its ultimate purpose… You just need to LISTEN… The silence you cultivate will strengthen your connection with your purpose, will refine your intention, and add to your sincerity.
And, of course, we cannot ignore that “elephant in the room! The pandemic… For the second time, Ramadan is coming during these challenging times. As we won’t be able to congregate in the mosques; and extended families and friends won’t be allowed to gather over dinner tables, this Ramadan offers yet another special opportunity for deeper reflection, deeper connection with God, and deeper restoration of the soul focusing on Divine love and service.
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As we are still focusing on immunity, let’s listen to our Body Whispers! When you suffer from poor immunity, one of those three chakras are usually involved:

• The root chakra with its relation to basic human needs including safety, security, and belonging.
• The heart with the feeling of love (including self-love) and intimacy with ourselves, with others and with God.
•  The throat chakra where your higher creativity is located, where you connect to your authentic voice and feel empowered to announce this voice to your surrounding while balancing your will and power with the Divine will.

 
If you find yourself falling sick over and over again, catching every “virus” in the air, you need to pay attention to what has been brewing beneath the surface of your conscious mind. Low immunity is linked to deep underlying grief… Grief has so many levels and is manifested in different shapes and forms. It is related to feelings of helplessness, despair, resentment, and dissatisfaction. Those feelings don’t only affect our emotional and mental wellbeing, they also deeply affect our physical health. Our inability or unwillingness to fight emotional and mental threats translates into an inability to fight environmental and physical threats. When your Body Whispers, it’s time to pause, listen and reflect. It’s time to make some choices and decisions.
 
And, as usual, don’t ignore the physical side of any “whispers”. You still need to support your body with healthy food, lifestyle, and even medications when required. If you missed it, here are my 30 tips for healthy immunity

And, this  is my favourite immune boosting smoothie

​This past year has been hard on all of us. As much as I’ve seen it bringing the best out of many of us; I’ve also seen it bringing the worst out of many. I’ve witnessed the severing of relationships, breaking of family bonds, increased violence, mental illnesses, cruelty, disagreements, and heartbreaks… I’ve seen kinds of suffering I’ve never witnessed before – not the expected kind of grief over the sick and dying, but a totally different breed of suffering – suffering of aching souls, of loneliness, of greed, of selfishness, of arrogance and ignorance. 

At some point, I was on the brink of despair. When you are surrounded by so many stories of darkness, your light gradually dims and fades.
But, then there was Margaret Wheatley’s book, “Who Do We Choose To Be?” I’ve read it three times during this pandemic. I needed to. It was my spark of light in the midst of the darkness. And, don’t get me wrong. It is not that fluffy, happy-go-lucky kind of pseudo-spirituality. It is real. So real to the point of depression some times. It acknowledges that, yes, this is where we are as humans at this point of our history. Yes, we degraded and disintegrated and sank so low; and yes, there isn’t much anyone can single-handedly do against the power and money of the mainstream propaganda and the stampede of the masses. But, still we have a choice! And, it’s time for us to stop, reflect, and make this choice.

​Who Do We Choose To Be? Invites us to “use our influence and power to create islands of sanity in the midst of a raging destructive sea.” Wheatley calls us, “give your mind and heart time to dwell in the difficulties that lie ahead, and the frequent opportunities we will have to serve the human spirit.” She acknowledges that “we can’t change the world, but we can change ourselves so that we can be of service to this world.” As “spiritual warriors”, Wheatley states, “we offer ourselves not as activists to change the world, but as compassionate presences and trustworthy companions to those suffering in this world.”
 
Knowing ourselves is the best gift we can offer the world right now… When we truly know ourselves, we know God… We become humble before His Magnificent Wisdom and His Divine Order even if we fail to understand this Divine Order at times. Love and Service are the summery of our role on earth, my Sheikh taught me. And, there has never been a time in history that humanity was in more need of Love and Service as it needs them today.
 
May the New Year, 2021, help more and more of us become true “spiritual warriors” who compassionately love and serve the suffering souls.

​Despite its obvious challenges, there are tons of things I am truly grateful for in 2020... May be the most important ones are:

1. Having my kids back home as the university studies shifted to online format;
   
2. Graduating my Masters of Pastoral Studies program and starting my practice as spiritual care practitioner and registered psychotherapist (Qualifying),
   
3. Resuming my work in the Women Whispers Academy after a long pause due to personal bumps on the road.

As usual, this reflection was challenging. Sometimes when we look at our life, we think we did not achieve much because we did not reach any concrete goals yet... But, on second thought, I believe I did a lot lying the foundation and the groundwork for my next stage in life.

• I did a lot of inner work. I really needed it. Again, this might not appear as 'great achievement' if we measure it from a Western mentality standpoint. But, I feel I am much peaceful, grateful, confidant, and focused.
• Working on putting a structure to my Women Whispers Academy to start taking it into its new level. For those of you who have been following me for some time now, you might know that my dream is to spread holistic health, happiness, and wellbeing and reviving health and wellness spirit in the whole world… I believe I am taking serious steps towards that dream now!
• Starting my private practice as an integrated psychospiritual therapist (RP Qualifying).

This year has been full of turbulence and uncertainty. If there is one thing I learned (and still learning) is that nothing is certain – change is the only constant in our life.

• I learned (once more) that life does not stop flowing for better or worse, and it is up to me to decide whether I want to flow with it or inflexibly stand in the face of the storm till it breaks me.
• I learned to embrace the chaos, the mess and walk in the dark, making peace with ambiguity. I learn to acknowledge and honor my fears yet do not let it stop me from moving forward and stepping out of my comfort zone.
• I learned that true friends are rare – hold on to them!

2020 taught me that God’s plan for me is always better than what I could ever plan for myself. Sometimes it is frustrating to be in the dark, not knowing why “bad things happen to good people”. It is hard when we can’t see the full picture, we can’t understand the wisdom behind our challenge. But, I’ve learned – and still learning- to TRUST & SURRENDER. I learned that I have to let go of old patterns and beliefs in order to make room for growth and open a new page of my journey.

• I learned -and still learning- to let go of the need for people to know my side of the story.
• I learned -and still learning- to let go of toxic relationships and I am much better now at setting healthy boundaries.
• I learned -and still learning- to let go of the need to know.

​My word for 2020 was “safe”… This was the feeling I wanted to have in 2020… Looking back at this unusual year, it might seem as if it has been as far away from safety as it could be… Yet, on a second glance… I was safe! And, I am so grateful. It depends on how you perceive it… How do you define safety? Your wishes and prayers could be granted in ways you never expected. If we wait to have it our own way, we might miss the blessings constantly sent our way.
 
In 2021, I want to feel AT PEACE in my mind and my heart and I want to feel CONNECTED to God, to my true self and to the whole Cosmos.

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• My goal in 2021 is to work towards CONNECTION on all levels – primarily and most importantly to God; then connected to my true self, my family and friends, my community, nature, and the whole Cosmos.
• Establish my business through Women Whispers Academy with valuable online courses and a community of like-minded women and health practitioners, therapists and coaches.
  
• Freedom of old baggage –physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

​The habits I need to set in place:

1. Slowing down and mindfulness daily practices: through various tools like meditation, breathing, Divine remembrance, journaling, art…
   
2. Healthy eating and Physical exercise
   
3. Be consistent in my work on my Women Whispers Academy.

​Now, it's your turn to do some reflection and set some goals... have a happy, healthy, and blessed 2021!

​Do you feel that you are running and rushing all the time?
Are you tired and exhausted?
It’s as if you’re looking for something but don’t know what it is…  Your mind is working nonstop… Your mind chatter is torturing… And, there are those heart palpitations and speeding heart beats… Your breathing becomes shallow and your hormones a mess… PMS, pre-menopausal symptoms, thyroid issues… You have low tolerance to people and daily annoyances… Sounds familiar?
 
In the past month alone I had more than 20 clients and students approaching me regarding their anxiety issues… 
Anxiety is very individualized condition. It comes in various shapes and forms, different severity and intensity. It carries different pains and signs and poses varying challenges for its sufferers. The DSM (Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) lists more than 30 different disorders under anxiety… Yet, if you dig at the core of it, no one really knows what anxiety is and where it comes from…

New studies link anxiety to autoimmune disease, Hashimoto Thyroiditis being a common one I see in my practice… Yet, is it a cause or an effect of the autoimmune disease? No one really knows. What we know for sure is that anxiety increases inflammation in the body and the inflammation in its turn increases anxiety… A viscous cycle. Turning on the furnace in our cells turns it on in our brain and vice versa.
 
I see anxiety as a gentle (or may be not so gentle at times) warning sign sent our way to tell us that we’re over doing it… over thinking, over acting, over working… We need to slow down… slow down the pace of our life and the speed of our thoughts… we need to close those pop-up windows that keep surfacing out of no where and jamming our mental screen. We need to slow down this crazy chatter and endless clutter of to-dos, ideas, information, worries, and fears… 
 
My favourite way of slowing down is taking a deep breath, grab my journal and do a “Brain Dump”… Pouring my thoughts onto the pages gives my brain a break…  It helps me organize my thoughts and decide on what I need to keep in my mind and what I need to let go of…
 
Hit reply and let me know, what’s your favourite way of SLOWING DOWN?