In my work, I give a lot of presentations and teachings. I am an introvert person by nature, usually shy and tend to avoid confrontations. These presentations used to impose lot of stress on my system until I learnt about the concept of Reference Memory.
Reference Memory is a special memory of yours that is linked to some good and/or satisfactory feeling of your choice. We all have special memories of nice times in our lives. All you have to do is to dig this memory up, spice it up a little and bring it back to life as reference readily available to help you reach the same feeling in similar situations. In my case, I was hunting for an empowering memory.
First, I led myself into a deep relaxation state where it was safe and calm. I slowly went through my life. images kept cascading till one mental image felt so close and clear. I further relaxed and dug it up:
One of my first jobs as a pharmacist was in the scientific office of a well established pharmaceutical company. My job was to translate the quality control and laboratory analysis documents into French before exportation to Morocco and Algeria. One night, I was really exhausted from my morning work at the faculty, I miss-copied some numbers from a quality control sheet. ‘Some numbers’ in pharmaceutical terms are not mere numbers; a dose error of 1 microgram could be fatal. I usually revise the sheets before submitting them; but this time, my highly meticulous boss, asked for the sheets early and he discovered the mistake before I did. Soon, I was called for in his office. Knowing that my mistake was so serious, I was willing to accept any judgment he sees suitable. But, going there, my colleagues warned me about his bad temper. “Never reply back”, one of them advised, “this will only make matters worse. Just nod and apologize, he will eventually calm down”, another colleague added. I gathered my strength and went into his office. Before I could say a word, a flow of insults and affronts was thrown into my face. I never expected such treatment. Given my shy and introversive nature, I felt apprehended for a while, but soon I could not withstand the insult. I do not know how I found the strength of stopping him. “Please sir”, I interrupted politely, “I know how terrible my fault is, and I am willing to accept full responsibility for it. You have the right to fire me if you want, but you have no right to insult me,” I added. Silence enveloped the room for few seconds; I could hear my heart beats accelerating waiting for the unexpected. Suddenly, the man stood up and said firmly, “I respect your response, I am sorry. Correct these sheets and take care of your work in the future,” he added handing me the sheets. I felt great relief. As I stepped out of his office, I felt so empowered and self-confident. My colleagues were so impressed. I felt great respect for myself and my abilities. I felt that I could handle any situation. It was such a great feeling.
I wrote my memory in my journal. I wanted to document and relive my feeling at that moment. I felt my victory. I saw myself clear as if it was telling me: ‘See, You can do it!!!’ I turned it into my empowering Reference Memory!!!
Reference Memory is of great help in dealing with helplessness, shyness, weakness, and/ or any debilitating feeling that you encounter in your life. Its tremendous power stems from the fact that it is all yours, it comes from deep within your own mind, already engraved into your neurons (nerve cells) and experienced by every cell of your being. All you need to do is to practice it repeatedly, trying to integrate as many senses as you could. Try to feel each detail, see it, touch it, smell it, and hear it. Slowly, your memory will surface its way back to your consciousness and become more vivid and way clearer. The more you practice it, feel it and experience it, the quicker it will be available to your consciousness whenever you need to retrieve the same feeling back mentally, emotionally, and physically. You can collect a whole Reference Memory archive: empowering memories, sweet memories, peaceful memories, forgiveness memories, healing and health-boosting memories… the list is endless and the choice is all yours.