I had a client once who was a really talented writer. She dreamed of being a bestselling novelist, yet her life was full of drama and misery… One ordeal after another, stories of abuse, betrayal, divorce, illness, debts… When we dug deeper, she discovered that she held this strong belief that all famous writers led a miserable life… “The muse, she told me, is born and thrives on misery”. Deep in her subconscious mind, she believed that if she solves all her drama and became a happy, cheerful person, the muse would just walk away…
David Feinstein in his book The Promise of Energy Psychology, says that in order to change our life, we need first to be receptive for this change. While we logically accept and wish for those positive changes (like being happy, losing weight, healing our body, taming with our anger, calming our anxiety…) many of us hold this inner conflict that is unconsciously running the show, blocking our progress and hindering our healing.
Like my client, the author, who had subconscious resistance to overcoming her depression and poor health, many people experience this inner resistance to change.
Don’t underestimate this subconscious resistance, though. It cannot be simply overcome by will power, in fact, the harder you try, the tougher the resistance becomes… The more strictly you hold on to that diet, the more stubborn those fat cells become in holding on to your waist line… the stronger you push to hold your temper and repeat those mantras, the louder those anger bursts erupt at the most unexpected time… Your relentless efforts produce opposite results as your subconscious is trying to protect you at all cost. It is trying to hold on to some values or beliefs you acquired years back and don’t even realize they existed… “Those fats will keep men away, so I won’t be hurt by another failed love story”; “This anger keeps me safe in a hostile world”; “This drama feeds my muse”… Those are the inner stories that run in our heads all the time…
To heal, we need to unravel those deeply held tales… we need to challenge them, we need to change the story we run in our heads and write our own new version…
My simple formula of change is ABCD:
It is simple, but not easy- be warned!
Acknowledge
Believe
Challenge
Drive
David Feinstein in his book The Promise of Energy Psychology, says that in order to change our life, we need first to be receptive for this change. While we logically accept and wish for those positive changes (like being happy, losing weight, healing our body, taming with our anger, calming our anxiety…) many of us hold this inner conflict that is unconsciously running the show, blocking our progress and hindering our healing.
Like my client, the author, who had subconscious resistance to overcoming her depression and poor health, many people experience this inner resistance to change.
Don’t underestimate this subconscious resistance, though. It cannot be simply overcome by will power, in fact, the harder you try, the tougher the resistance becomes… The more strictly you hold on to that diet, the more stubborn those fat cells become in holding on to your waist line… the stronger you push to hold your temper and repeat those mantras, the louder those anger bursts erupt at the most unexpected time… Your relentless efforts produce opposite results as your subconscious is trying to protect you at all cost. It is trying to hold on to some values or beliefs you acquired years back and don’t even realize they existed… “Those fats will keep men away, so I won’t be hurt by another failed love story”; “This anger keeps me safe in a hostile world”; “This drama feeds my muse”… Those are the inner stories that run in our heads all the time…
To heal, we need to unravel those deeply held tales… we need to challenge them, we need to change the story we run in our heads and write our own new version…
My simple formula of change is ABCD:
It is simple, but not easy- be warned!
Acknowledge
Believe
Challenge
Drive
- Acknowledge those inner stories and be aware of when they pop into your mind. What are they trying to protect you from? What fears, worries, or insecurities are they feeding?
- Believe that you have the power of choice. You can choose your own version of the story, and you can choose to be happy, healthy and successful on your own terms regardless of your outer circumstances. God never burdens a soul beyond what it can handle. And, most importantly, believe that you are worthy.
- Challenge the old belief and change the story. Write your own version, visualize it and feel it with all your senses. Trust. Surrender.
- Drive your own vehicle… take on the wheel and lead the way!
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