Amira Ayad, PhD
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Kindness is not always a virtue

6/12/2016

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December 6 is the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence against Women in Canada.
 
So, today I want to honor all women out there who are struggling and suffering emotionally or physically. Emotional abuse could be as bad a physical abuse and I see case after case every day…

When you are struggling to cope with everyday life… when you become anxious and worried about your own safety and livelihood… when life becomes a constant argument over crossed boundaries, lost hopes, and denied basic rights… you are exhausted… Emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted … You are drained and depleted… you feel like a hamster on a wheel, tired and wired all the time.
 
Unfortunately, in our modern society, we also lost the support from caring community, society, family, and friends… You end up feeling not understood, not acknowledged for your role in life, for all your efforts and you end up not getting what you really deserve.
 
I met hundreds of women crippled by fear and worry over the future, the past and the present. They are over-burdened with responsibilities, unable to carry on any longer with an unending struggle and un-stoppable mind chatter.
They do not have the time or the resources to take care  of themselves and nurture their own needs
 
If you are, or any one you know is, in this position, please take few minutes today to reflect on your needs… Reflect on You!
Take few minutes to take a decision to stop the abuse… to say ‘No’ when your boundaries are crossed… take few minutes to ask for help… Seek assistance if you feel that you are vulnerable at this stage of your life or if you fear over your physical safety.
 
In her book Emotional blackmail, Dr. Susan Forward insists that “It Takes Two” for the abuse to keep on going… Make a decision today to stop being an active participant in your own abuse… Stop accepting what you feel is unreasonable under the name of being a ‘good wife’, ‘good daughter’, ‘a good employee’… or because you just want peace or fear changes… No one deserves to be treated un-fairly or dis-respectfully. No one deserves to keep giving without asking for acknowledgement in the least.
 
Stop putting yourself down and stop under-valuing yourself in the name of humility, gratitude or goodwill. Don’t let your self-worth and sense of security depend on someone else’s validation and acknowledgement… You are enough… You deserve to be loved, to be cared for… to be respected…
 
Kindness is not always a virtue. Sometimes, kindness is a crime. A crime against our own souls. It’s a crime when we fall in the same trap over and over again… it is a crime when we give so much till we are depleted and drained… it is a crime when we allow others to walk all over us and treat us like door mats.
 
I hope you all know me enough by now to know that this is in no way an invitation to be mean, obnoxious or ungrateful, this is just an invitation to stand up for your rights…
Nurture the beautiful caring loving heart of yours and keep caring and nurturing and spreading love and peace around you… but don’t ever forget to start with your own self… Start by nurturing your own soul…
 
Today, take a minute to listen to your body whispers… Listen to what your whispers are trying to tell you… Be them headache, hives, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, hot flashes, blood pressure disturbances, indigestion, poor immunity, inflammation, IBS, stomach and Intestinal problems, eating disorders, kidney problems, Bed-wetting, knee and back pain…
 
They are here for a reason… listen and start by changing your inner world so that you can change your outer world…
All you need is a decision… a decision to reclaim your rights, a decision to be brave enough and determined enough to do it.

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    About the Author

    Hi, I'm Amira... I'm all for simple, natural, uncomplicated life... My core values are derived from my Islamic faith... My definition of wellness includes lots of smiles, human interactions, delicious food, music, joy, colorful paint, Mediterranean sunshine, blue sky and turquoise sea, care, love, compassion and deep heart-felt peace.
    I love learning… I love books and art supplies… And, I am saddened by human conflict and intolerance.
     
    I am an introvert who loves being around people... I love building communities and gathering around the kitchen table... I am a teacher at heart... I simplify complex health science and speak openly about heart and soul stuff...

    I've been helping people on their health and healing journey for more than 20 years now and I am committed to be authentic, caring and a beacon of love and peace.

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My wellness coaching, workshops, teachings, and all the services I provide are at all times restricted to education, teaching and training on the subject of natural health matters intended for general natural health well-being and do not involve the diagnosing, prognosticating, treatment, or prescribing of remedies for the treatment of any disease, or any licensed or controlled act which may constitute the practice of  medicine. 
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