Yes, life is a big test, “Do people think that they will be left on saying, "We believe", and that they will not be tested?” (Q. 69:2). Yet, life is not supposed to be a miserable experience (Q. 20:2). The challenges are here to teach us something, help us grow, and lead us on our Straight Path.
It is up to us to find the beauty hidden among the wracks and debris of our lives and to learn to walk even when it seems dark and gloomy. As we keep taking steps forward, we’ll start seeing the light again. I’ve been there, I’ve learned to keep walking in the dark… I’ve learned to trust and “Just keep swimming” like little Dori in Finding Nemo… Just Keep Swimming.

Despite the challenging times we are living, we are still meant to enjoy the ride with all its bumps and troughs… we are meant to find happiness amidst the rubbles… Happiness in honouring the struggle and staying curious about the endless possibilities it is bringing… Happiness is finding excitement on every corner and joy in every lesson… Happiness in learning and growing… in serving… happiness in connecting… … Join our Positivity Challenge HERE and let’s dig deeper into our lives and our hearts to find grace, joy and happiness…

We will work on, reflect on and journal about 10 positive declarations in 10 days. Let’s add positivity to our daily experience. Let’s find grace and gratitude in our daily challenges.

First, I have three stories for you,
 
Story I: SMON [1]
 
Back in the 1950s, a frightening epidemic struck Japan. The mysterious neurological disease affected middle-aged individuals, mainly women, causing progressive paralysis and in some cases led to slow agonizing death. Due to the symptomatic resemblance with polio, doctors suspected that the disease is caused by a similar virus. Still, nothing could be done to stop the epidemic and the annual number of cases was steadily on the rise.
 
In 1964, the Japanese Society of Internal Medicine assigned a formal name and standardized diagnosis to the newly born -yet still mysterious- disease, Subacute MyeloOptico-Neuropathy (SMON). With time, evidences started piling up against the virus theory: for instance, some researchers noticed that the disease did not cause any detectable change in biological fluids, almost never affected children, wasn’t accompanied by rash, fever, or inflammation (the usual signs that the immune system is fighting an invading pathogen), and most intriguingly, a survey showed that all patients were prescribed some form of anti-diarrheal medication before the appearance of their symptoms. Nevertheless, this information and collected data were brushed aside, simply because they did not fit into the agreed-upon “theory.”
 
It took years for researchers to finally investigate the possibility that SMON symptoms are the side effect of Clioquinol, a medication commonly used mainly by Japanese women to control diarrhea. They found that the epidemic started shortly after the approval of the drug production in Japan.
 
I believe that what saved the day was the humility of the people in charge. Reisaku Kono, the doctor assigned for the investigation of the disease, although a virologist himself, he wasn’t reluctant to investigate alternative hypotheses. And, in early 1970, the Japanese Ministry of Health took the prompt action of releasing the newly found information to the press causing many physicians to stop prescribing Clioquinol even before the drug could be officially banned in Japan by a later date this same year. The number of cases dropped drastically henceforth and by 1973, the epidemic was over.
 
 
Story II: Chronic Fatigue Syndrome[2]
 
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) first appeared as an outbreak in mid 1930s. It affected 198 hospital staff (surprisingly not patients) at the Los Angeles County General Hospital. For years, it remained a mysterious illness and was given the name Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), which was later, despite the objection of the sufferers, changed to CFS. Labeling it “fatigue” somehow carried an underlying blame suggesting that the patients are lazy and ultimately referring them to psychiatrists.
 
In 2009, Judy Mikovits and Frank Ruscetti isolated a newly discovered retrovirus XMRV (Xenotropic Murine Leukemia Virus-Related Virus), and demonstrated its association with ME/CFS. Their research showed that the retrovirus, which is originally found in mice, made its way into the human population. But, how? Animal virus has been there for years and humans have been in contact with mice forever. Why did this jump happen now? And, how?
 
Other curious researchers started digging deeper into early data only to reveal that the entire medical staff at the Los Angeles County Hospital where ME/CFS first appeared had received polio vaccination just prior to the outbreak. What was different, though, was that, for the first time, the polio vaccine preparation used mice brain tissues to grow the virus. Additionally, the hospital staffs were injected with an immune booster carrying a mercury-containing preservative.
 
Dr. Mikovits suggests that the jump to human happened through the contaminated vaccines. And, if this is the case, then by now more than 10 million Americans are carrying the virus… a dormant ticking bomb that could be activated at any time by an immune system disruptor such as stress, inflammation, infections, immune boosters, toxicity (mercury, lead, Asbestos, pesticides…) or, guess what, more vaccinations. Additionally, most retroviruses (like HIV – the virus linked to AIDS) are known to affect the immune functions increasing susceptibility to various diseases including cancer.
And, there is more. Dr. Mikovits’ subsequent research suggested that mothers affected by ME/CFS are at an increased risk of having their children falling on the autistic spectrum. In one of her studies, fourteen of the seventeen children with Autism whose mothers suffered from ME/CFS tested positive for the virus (XMRV). Dr. Mikovits sees that, “those findings dovetailed with parental reports of autistic regression following vaccination [which might have activated the dormant virus that was passed from mother to child]. Subsequent studies linked XMRV to epidemics in leukemia, prostate cancer, autoimmune disease, and the explosion of Alzheimer’s disease.”
 
 
Story III: HIV[3]
 
Scientists agree that Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV), the virus that is currently linked to AIDS, originated from the Simian Immunodeficiency Virus (SIV), a monkey or chimpanzee virus. But, again, the question remains how did SIV made its way into the human population? The theory that we have been told (or sold) is that the virus jumped into human through Africans eating under-cooked chimpanzees.  But, Africans have been cooking and eating monkeys and chimpanzees for thousands of years. Why now?
 
Another theory was popularized by Edward Hooper in his book, The River: A Journey to the Source of HIV and AIDS. Hooper research led him to an incident back in 1957 when scientists used chimpanzees’ kidney cells and sera to grow polio vaccine. The produced vaccine was then administered orally to nearly one million Africans in Belgian Congo.  Could this be the route through which SIV found its way into human population? This definitely sounds like a more probable theory, but one that would cost pharmaceutical companies and medical establishment billions of dollars in lost revenues and law suits. AIDS epidemic went on to affect 60 million people worldwide claiming the life of at least 39 million victims.
 
____________________________
 
Ok, so now, let me put things straight. I am not against evidence-based science, pharmaceutical medications, or vaccines in general. And, I am not trying to convince anyone of anything, especially my fellow pharmacists who probably by now are calling me a crazy conspiracy theorist. Believe me, I know that the above stories, although totally genuine- are based on their own theories that bear their share of bias or speculations.  All I am trying to do is to show you that there is a whole world outside the tiny virus or vaccination box that we are squeezing ourselves into.
 
For instance,

• It has already been established that population at high risk of contacting the COVID-19 are those having other health conditions, which most probably means that they have already been on other medications. Did anyone survey those conditions and those medications?
• We know that ACE (Angiotensin Converting Enzyme) receptors are somehow involved in COVID access to the cells which raises the flag about ACE Inhibitors, the famous medications used for hypertension.  Accumulated data is showing that the people at highest risk are the ones suffering from hypertension and cardiovascular conditions. Did anyone investigate how many of the COVID victims were on ACE inhibitors?
• There are some studies concerning the role of vitamin D and the mitochondrial involvement. Did we test vitamin D deficiency in victims? And, what about Co-enzyme Q10 deficiency caused by the famous cholesterol lowering medications?
• Also, are diabetic patients more susceptible and immuno-compromised because of their medical condition or because of vitamin B12 depletion caused by the anti-diabetic medications they are receiving? As it is well known that vitamin B12 plays an essential role in human immune function.
• Further, why is the disease rampant in Long Time Care facilities? Is it because of the old age or are the elderly more likely to follow ministry guidelines of receiving the flu vaccine every year? Are we even willing to go there?

 
Vaccination is based on the idea that we could “prime our immune system with weakened or dead pathogens in order to deal with any challenges that might come our way over the course of a lifetime.” But, Dr. Mikovits raises the question whether we are overkilling a good idea causing irreversible damage and catastrophic consequences. Two of the above stories involve the polio vaccine. Yet, mind you, “every vaccine has been grown in animal tissue, usually of several different species, including monkey, mouse, bird, and cow. Each one of these cross-species events has the potential to transfer a pathogen to humans, or to create some new strain that can cause harm. We have fired several billion bullets of biological ammunition at the human species, and it is the height of arrogance to believe we have cause zero damage.” [4] And, then, there is the added risk of the chemicals in the vaccines, like mercury (which is still added to the flu shot) and aluminum (which is added as immune booster to many of the current vaccines) and the other adjuvants and preservatives.
 
It is extremely difficult and even impossible to do proper research when the outliers are denied funding and their data is censored. It is extremely difficult and even impossible to do proper research when the whistle blowers are brutally silenced and the truth is lost among the loud noise of the propaganda spread by the money-making machines.
 
If we could learn anything from the SMON story (besides humility), it would be to never ignore the data that does not fit into our currently acceptable framework. I am not implying that there is no virus involved. But, what if the virus in itself is a weak, low-harm entity? What if it was a mere straw that broke the camel’s back? If the virus hadn’t put those patients at risk, 100s of other causes would have affected their already poor health and compromised immunity. Why, then, are we focusing on the straw and ignoring the whole load of sh*t that the camel has already been carrying for a long time?
 
Basically, this is what I am trying to say:

• There could be many causes for a disease or an illness – the virus is probably the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
• The disease model does not work – We need to shift our focus on a health and wellness model instead.
• Human system is way more complicated than Newtonian mechanics of cause and effect – we are not machines.

 
One thing we know for sure from all the years of virology studies: the ONLY conqueror of a virus – any virus- is our own immune system. Even a vaccine won’t do its job if you don’t have a healthy immune system. So, let’s do our part. Let’s focus on our health, on the load of sh*t we are carrying so that the straw would not break our backs, whether this straw is a virus, a bacterium, a UFO, or a genie from a lamp… It doesn’t matter! We need to deal with:

• The physical and environmental toxins (including the witch brew we are getting from vaccines)
• The emotional, spiritual, and mental toxins (including the fear-mongering propaganda)
• The nutrient deficiency and depletion (including the one caused by drug muggers, genetically engineered and empty-calories foods)

 
Scientists make mistakes sometimes. Good intentions does not prevent good scientists from erring and some of those errors cost us lives… Millions of lives.
 
During the past few decades, science has achieved amazing leaps in technology. Yet, we did not use this technology to build on the cosmological model of reality we inherited from thousands of years of traditional, religious, and cultural wisdom. Instead, we’ve torn down this colossal edifice and arrogantly replaced it with our newly born theories. We considered ourselves smarter than our predecessors and we placed human beings as the sole proprietors of this vast universe. Meanwhile, ironically, we denied these sole proprietors the dignity the Divine has bestowed upon them and we reduced them to mere animals on a Darwinian evolution chain with their only privilege being a frontal cortex that allows them to logically and analytically think and control nature. We robbed them off “The Rational Faculties of the Soul” that allows for imagination, estimation, abstraction, and reflection. Instead, we gave them a concrete, predictable, and linear Newtonian cosmos that further disconnected them from their Creator, from one another, and from their own souls.
 
All great traditional cultures and world religions bear a mystical, mythical component that takes human beings beyond the constraints of physicality and connect them to a Greater Power, a higher meaning, meanwhile grounding them in humility as they are constantly reminded of their human limitations and vulnerabilities. The Quran describes the believers as “those who believe in the unseen.” There will always be an “unseen.” There is a limit to our human knowledge. The idea that we are learning more and more everyday until we will reach “The Theory of Everything” is pure arrogance. The craving for learning is weaved into our DNA, it is part of being human. But, let us not forget the fact that we are mere human.
 
Being an advocate for tradition and for the restoration of the human “soul” does not make me less of a scientist. I am a scientist at heart. I am passionate about pharmaceutics, biochemistry, and human metabolic reactions. I’ve taught them for years. Holding on to tradition does not mean rejecting modern technology, evidence-based research, and scientific advancement. It means finding the balance. Restoring human position in the cosmos as guardians and vicegerents not as controllers and entitled dominators. It means restoring human dignity by reconnecting with “the breath of the Divine” we all carry within us … A breath that urges us to focus on “first do no harm” – no harm to human beings, to nature, to any of God’s creatures and creations … A breath that makes us set aside our political and economic agenda in order for us to be:

• Humble rather than arrogant
• Servants rather then entitled
• Compassionate rather than controlling
• Loving rather than destroyers.

 
Professor Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, the father of biochemistry and the Nobel prize winner for his isolation of vitamin C molecule, wrote in his autobiography: “Nature has no bottom. If Nature puts two things together she produces something new with new qualities, which cannot be expressed in terms of qualities of the components. […] At every level we find something new, a new breathtaking vista. So now, at 68, I am to work my way up again following electrons in their motion through more extensive systems, hoping to arrive, someday, at an understanding of the cellular level of organization.”  This is what I call humility! And, this is what I see missing from the modern-day approach to nature, medicine, and the human body. Modern science has given us so many amazingly sophisticated and advanced wonderful tools that weren’t meant to rob us off our humility (or humanity). They were meant to show us this “new breathtaking vista” that should have made us even more humble.
 
To find answers to our current health crisis, we need to set aside our personal interests and political and economic agendas… We need to be humble enough to look outside the constraints of been-there-done-that-I-am-the-expert box that we are squeezing ourselves into.
 
May God help and guide us all. Amen.

_____________________________
[1] Peter Duesberg. Inventing The AIDS Virus. Washigton, D. C. Regnery Publishing, 1996.
[2] Judy Mikovits and Kent Heckenlively. Plague of Corruption: Restoring Faith in the Promise of Science.  New York: Skyhorse Publishing, 2020.
[3] Ibid.
[4] Ibid.

It took a global pandemic to force us to pause our fast-paced life, slow down the mad pursuit for ever more, and to replace our FOMO (Fear of Missing out) with a legitimate fear for our simple ability to breathe… a priceless luxury that we all took for granted.
It took a global pandemic to make us realize how lonely and empty our modern lifestyle really is…
It took a global pandemic to make us face this dark lifeless spot that lurked deep beneath the surface of our hearts and lay at the core of our being perfectly camouflaged that we failed to see it for what it really is… Depression!
 
Depression, loneliness, and emptiness became the “modern maladies of the soul.”[1] Studies show that when we are depressed, being alone exasperates the feelings of vulnerability, helplessness, and powerlessness. While, as we progress in healing our depression, we start viewing loneliness as a sign of autonomy, self-worth, and independence.[2] Yet, in this time of social/physical distancing and social isolation we are forced to face the question: are loneliness and emptiness causing our depression, or are they caused by it?
 
We might be tempted to think that we need to treat depression for those feelings to resolve. Yet, how can we treat depression without resolving such feelings of emptiness, vulnerability, and loneliness?
 
Paul Gilbert, the British clinical psychologist, identifies powerlessness and lack of belonging as two basic social constructs that pave the way for depression.[3] Powerlessness, in our context, could be defined as the loss of control and the inability to achieve significant goals, to form meaningful relationships, to escape unacceptable social situations, and/or to prove our value and worth.[4] Holly Nelson-Becker, the Professor at Department of Clinical Sciences at Brunel University London, invites us to look at powerlessness in itself as a part of the learning journey that requires deep reflection; “perhaps a part of the learning is that [we] must wait in powerlessness,” she suggests.[5] Sometimes, down periods in life are periods of spiritual transformation and opportunities for growth. Could COVID-19 pandemic present us with such opportunity?
 
Even before this pandemic, our modern lifestyle had sentenced many, or even most, of us to a meaningless lonely life. It forced us to be largely disconnected: disconnected from our family members who may be living under the same roof…  disconnected from our own self, our passions and true purposes… disconnected from the Bigger Picture, bigger life meaning… disconnected from our environment and our earth… disconnected from our community and society… disconnected from the Divine source of energy and love… We were living on an autopilot, running all day long like a lonely hamster on a wheel. In this whirlwind of loneliness, no wonder we feel excluded from active participation and engagement in a meaningful life experience. Sebastian Junger, in his book Tribe, notes how history has never witnessed such high rates of depression and mental illnesses. As opposed to the traditional tribal culture where everyone is involved in a meaningful community role and purpose, modern Western culture, makes us feel un-necessary and unimportant.[6]
 
Loneliness is radically different from solitude. Loneliness is not about being alone; it is rather about the lack of belonging and the feeling of unworthiness.[7] As human beings, we need to feel that we belong to a family and a community that respect our needs and acknowledge our contribution.[8] Yet, our self-image and self-worth determine how we perceive and interact with such family and community. Our sense of belonging thus starts within ourselves, within our own hearts, by clearly defining and acknowledging our own aspirations, expectations, drives, and vulnerabilities.
Avicenna (d. 428/1037), the famous Muslim physician, teaches that healing depression should start by healing the heart, physically, emotionally, and spiritually,[9] an opinion that reflects the teachings of Prophet Muhammad: “In the body, there is a morsel which if healthy, causes the health of the whole body; and if it sickens, it causes the sickness of the whole body; this is the heart”.[10]
 
James Fowler sees that some of us, as we advance in age, we might feel ready to move into an advanced stage of faith that takes us beyond the dualistic, reductionist mentality and causes us to start integrating meanings and signs, dialoguing with ourselves, and being at peace with our human limitations. Fowler sees trust as the central theme of this stage, which necessitates a paradigm shift whereupon we start to re-work our past and integrate all aspects of our identity. At this higher stage of faith, we are comfortable with ambiguity. We approach life with awe and reverence seeing the wisdom in every experience even the most tragic ones.[11] With this paradigm shift, we learn to relax expectations, to give greater weight on momentary joys, to experience life more deeply, and to balance healthy attachments with detachments and engagement with relinquishing.[12] Most importantly, this paradigm shift involves self-reflection inviting us to connect with our feelings on a much deeper level.
 
Henri Nouwen teaches that when we reach deeper into our hearts, we sit in deep reflection with our powerlessness and listen to “that place within us where our deepest desires align with God’s desire.”[13] And, following Avicenna’s advice, deep reflection eases our depression and loneliness by initiating a venture towards a sound heart, qalb salīm  (Qur’an, 26:89). A sound heart is one that is sincerely filled with the truth of Divine Oneness and free from doubts, desires, vice, ignorance, and arrogance; an empowered heart that has surrendered entirely to the Divine and that wishes for others all good that it wishes for itself.[14]
 
During this challenging time of physical distancing and self-isolation, as the human race is forced to face its powerlessness and helplessness, as we are forced to face the dark maladies of our souls, I pray that we make use of this compulsory pause to initiate our self-reflective healing journey and delve deeper into our souls searching for the meanings of true connections: connection with our true selves, with our family, with our community, with our earth, with our God and with all God’s creatures and creations. May God bless and guide us all. Amen.

-----------------------------------
[1] Nelson-Becker, H. (2016). Spirituality, religion and aging: Illuminations for therapeutic practice. London: Sage.
[2] Pierce, L. L., Wilkinson, L. K., & Anderson, J. (2003). Analysis of the Concept of Aloneness as Applied to Older Women Being Treated For Depression. Journal of Gerontological Nursing, 29 (7), 20-25.
[3] Gilbert, P. (2009). Depression and Powerlessness. New York: Routledge.
[4] Ibid.
[5] Nelson-Becker, 2016.
[6] Junger, S. (2016). Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging. New York: Harpercollins.
[7] Vanier, J. (2010). Becoming Human. Toronto: House of Anansi Press.
[8] Ramadan, T. (2012). The Quest For Meaning: Developing a Philosophy of Pluralism. London: Penguin Books
[9] Yousofpour, M., Kamalinejad, M., Esfahani, M. M., Shams, J., Tehrani, H. H., & Bahrami, M. (2015). Role of Heart and Its Diseases in the Etiology of Depression According to Avicenna's Point of View and Its Comparison With Views of Classic Medicine. International Journal of Preventative Medicine 6 (49).
[10] Related by Bukhārī and Muslim
[11] Fowler, J. (1995). Stages of Faith: The Psychology of Human Development And the Quest for meaning. New York: HarperOne.
[12] Nelson-Becker, 2016.
[13] Nouwen, H. (2013). Discernment: Reading The Signs of Daily Life. New York: HarperOne.
[14] Nasr, S. H. (2015). The Study Quran: A New Translation and Commentary. New York: HarperOne.

​His student asked his permission to treat his cataract. “You taught us,” he pleaded hoping that the great 10th  century physician would accept. But Rhazes denied, “I’ve seen enough of this world,“ he replied. Weeks later, Rhazes (Abu Bakr al-Razi) , the greatest physician of his time, passed away in his bed… Blind… and broke.
 
Could blindness be a choice? Blindness to the cruelty the world and suffering of the soul…
Blindness is not a mere loss of eyesight. Many of us unconsciously live blind... looking yet not seeing… And, others choose to deliberately live blind. Their world is too harsh to endure otherwise. Our heroine is one of them. For years, she chose to live blind. She turned off the light, put down the blinds, and closed her eyes. She lived in her tiny cocoon isolated from the world. She felt safer this way… warmer in a cold-hearted world… richer in a poor-spirited community… peaceful in a violent surrounding… But, soon the darkness seeped into her soul… eroded her body and sucked the life out of her… She was dead inside. Every morning, she drew the most beautiful smile on her face and went on with her daily duties…
 
Joseph Campbell, in his Hero’s Journey, would call this phase the Innermost Cave… Christian mystics call it the dark night of the soul… and the Sufis call it contraction… Yet, in all those traditions, this phase is not the end of the journey. It is just the beginning. It is “God’s silence and our own – working as an entryway into an unmediated experience of the Divine.” It is this “wondrous night that beckons us all into a fuller, more intimate experience of the Divine. So much that sustains our lives and souls can only happen in the dark of night.”[1]
Campbell’s hero’s transformation only take place after the hero acknowledges his vulnerability taking all the time he needs in his Innermost Cave. Like herbs releasing their medicine only after percolating for weeks into the dark cold menstruum, our soul finds its elixir into the darkest contraction of our hearts.

​The ancient Yin and Yang symbol holds a light dot in its dark swirl – reminding us of the ever presence of hope in the midst of suffering. It also depicts a dark dot in its light swirl – reminding us to remain humble in times of brightness and growth… “In order that you do not despair over what has eluded you and not over-exult in pride over what God has given you” (Q. 57: 23). ​

​Our suffering requires courage to keep going. It requires patience, flexibility, and trust. Our darkest moments help us slow down, reflect at, and absorb life lessons, challenges, and trials.  It helps us find the perfect rhythm that sets in coherence our inner-self with our outer reality… that synchronizes our heart with the delicate flow of life, with all its ups and downs, joys and sorrows. Yet, to reach this heart coherence, we need to mollify our brain endless chatter… We need the silence of our Innermost Cave in order for us to hear the whispers of our soul… we need to be willing to open our heart to receive the subtle grace that the Divine offers us every step along your way.
 
Yes, blindness is a choice… but our heroine does not have to choose it… We do not have to choose it… We can choose, instead, to shut our eyes and retreat in our Innermost Cave for as long as we need to… We’re not turning blind eyes… We’re closed for restoration!
_______________________
[1] Robert H. Hopcke, “Spiritual direction and mystical experience,” in Sharing Sacred Stories.

When I look back at the past two years of my life, I could only see Divine miracles... Although those past two years have been full of tears, pain, fears, worries, and lots of heart and body aches, the fading memories left me with a profound feeling of content and gratitude that fills my heart along with an unshakable sense of trust that keeps me going despite all odds.
Is this what is called resiliency? Or is it faith? Whatever we choose to call it, it remains this sense of deep trust in God and belief that a bigger plan is always in effect and this plan is always carrying within its folds Divine mercy, grace, and love. 

This resiliency is definitely a Divine blessing I am forever grateful for. One of our greatest blessing is being able to feel a genuine gratitude that fills our hearts and feeds our souls regardless of what is going on in our lives. 

Henri Nouwen teaches, "when we are spiritually deaf, we are not aware that anything important is happening in our lives. We keep running away from the present moment and we try to create experiences that make our lives worthwhile. So, we fill up our time to avoid the emptiness we otherwise would feel. When we are truly listening, we come to know that God is speaking to us, pointing the way, showing the direction. We simply need to learn to keep our ears open. Discernment is a life of listening to a deeper sound and marching to a different beat, a life in which we become all ears." To feel the gratitude and to be able to see the miracles in your life (and believe me there are always miracles despite all adversity) you need to cultivate this inner tuning, you need to become "all ears."  It is a skill that takes practice to cultivate... A life-long practice of mindfulness, awareness, and heart purification.

I have learned this skill from the two greatest ladies in my life, my late grandmother - may God bless her soul- and my dearest mother - may God protect her and grant her health and happiness in this life and forever after. I've learned from their actions not their words, from their embodiment of the true meaning of faith, gratitude, and resiliency. And, as we are embarking on a new decade in our life, I pray God to help me be an embodiment of  those sacred meanings as well. 

"O' God, You who has the command over our hearts, make my heart unwaveringly steady on Your path"
​"يا مقلب القلوب، ثبت قلبي على دينك"

The Thunder, Chapter 13 of the Quran, describes how the thunder with its scary roar, in its essence, it glorifies and praises God. Could this be a parallel for our pains and sufferings? The roaring pain that brings within its folds a blessing and a gift from the Divine?
In its essence, suffering, like the roaring thunder, praises and glorifies God. Initially, our pain brings with it fear that might throw us into a chaotic narrative… the chaos of a life-threatening diagnosis or a life-altering illness, the chaos of cancer, depression, autoimmunity, fibromyalgia, or chronic pain… a chaos that forces us to press a pause or even a stop button on our lives…

But, what if we pause and listen? What if we try to decipher the message our body is sending us? If we listen carefully, we will hear our suffering opening the door for spiritual insight, a door that will take us closer to God. We will hear our suffering praising our Lord.

The Thunder chapter (Surat Ar-Ra’d) challenges our belief about the dichotomy of good and evil. To discern the wisdom in our trials, we need to challenge this modern cognitive frame. We need to stop judging evil solely on the basis of it not serving an immediate interest or pleasure. Likewise, healing should not be reduced to curing the illness. Healing means becoming whole again, becoming at peace with oneself, the world, and the Divine. 

Healing entails finding meaning and purpose that is bigger than ourselves and bigger than our suffering. It entails bringing all who we are, body, mind, heart, and soul into a relationship with the Divine. As physical suffering is drawing us towards a bigger life meaning and purpose, to a vocation and a calling, in reality, it is drawing us towards God. To find our calling, we need to know ourselves; and to know ourselves, we need to know God. Such knowledge allows us to understand the interconnectedness of all things around us and within us and the relationship to and ultimate dependence of this amazing web on its One and Only Creator.

Listen to the inspiring story of Ali Banat: Gifted with Cancer, May God bless his soul.

At a point on our journey, we are forced to withdraw into our “innermost cave” where life challenges become just too much for us to bear... when we realize that it is not about power, strength, or fighting… when we finally accept that it is okay to be vulnerable.

In our innermost cave, we learn to be humble, we clearly see our limits as human beings and we acknowledge our limitations.
    
The cave is dark, cold, and scary, like the dungeon prophet Joseph (Yusuf) was thrown into… Yet, it is in this cave that our connection with God gets stronger, it is there where we realize that God is our only solace… it is there where we meet God on the deepest level… we meet Him as servants and slaves meeting their Master… we meet Him in awe and humility… we meet Him as our souls as dying from starvation and thirst… only His presence can feed our souls and only His words can quench our thirst.

Sometimes, all what we need to do is pause and connect… come back to our deepest core … to the place that Marie Schwan describes as “Home.” Home is this beautiful innermost place within us where we are truly ourselves. Home is a place where we are profoundly and genuinely connected to God, speaking to Him in our own words and mindfully listening to His reply.

    Al-Harawy (d. 1089 C.E. /481 A. H.), the eleventh-century Muslim scholar and Sufi mystic, describes human beings as travellers on a life-long journey towards knowing God. This hundred-stage journey starts with the most critical step: Awakening. For him, awakening is achieved through awareness:

• Awareness of the blessings in everyday life,
• Awareness to our misdeeds and pitfalls that might drive us away from God or throw us off track, 
• Awareness of the passage of our time. As we are running on autopilot riding the hamster wheel every morning.

 
Awareness is essential to reach this pure centre inside each and every one of us, this Home, that is still deeply in touch with its Creator… with God who is above time and space, yet who is “closer to [us] than [our] jugular vein,” (Q, 50:16).
    
​In our innermost cave, as we connect with God… as we strip bear our soul… as we become humble and in awe, we learn to surrender… We learn to let go and let God show us the way… the way to Him… the way back “Home” to who we truly are.

Also check staying connected blog
​

​Since the dawn of civilization, one fundamental question that has always perplexed human being is “why?” Why is there so much suffering in the world? Illnesses, physical pain, and suffering could be debilitating and crippling. Nevertheless, for some people, they turn out to be the most rewarding experience of their life, a blessing for them and others. 

Trying to just go through life with the illusion that only by willpower we can achieve everything is just that: An illusion… Our rational, logical self-control is like a rider on the back of an elephant. The rider seems to hold the rein and direct the elephant… But, the rider can never force the elephant into a direction it does not want to go into. The elephant is the one running the show… We have always learned that Ramadan fasting is there to strengthen our willpower… it is there to train us to be more in control of our desires… but unfortunately, we got the mechanism all wrong… if we treat our fasting as mere training of self-restriction and self-control… we will be further wearing off our self-control muscle… Ramadan Fasting is not a physical exercise that trains us to withstand our hunger… Neither is it a psychological exercise that teaches us to control our desires, temptations, and urges. Ramadan Fasting is a spiritual practice… We reduced Ramadan to numbers and rituals (and an endless supply of sugars, fats, and carbs). Our heart and soul are not into it… We drugged the elephant so that it takes a nap until we finish the holy month; We dissociated our hearts from the whole process… because our hearts are already very heavy, exhausted and weary... So how can we make the best out Ramadan? How can we tame our elephants?