The Thunder, Chapter 13 of the Quran, describes how the thunder with its scary roar, in its essence, it glorifies and praises God. Could this be a parallel for our pains and sufferings? The roaring pain that brings within its folds a blessing and a gift from the Divine?
In its essence, suffering, like the roaring thunder, praises and glorifies God. Initially, our pain brings with it fear that might throw us into a chaotic narrative… the chaos of a life-threatening diagnosis or a life-altering illness, the chaos of cancer, depression, autoimmunity, fibromyalgia, or chronic pain… a chaos that forces us to press a pause or even a stop button on our lives…

But, what if we pause and listen? What if we try to decipher the message our body is sending us? If we listen carefully, we will hear our suffering opening the door for spiritual insight, a door that will take us closer to God. We will hear our suffering praising our Lord.

The Thunder chapter (Surat Ar-Ra’d) challenges our belief about the dichotomy of good and evil. To discern the wisdom in our trials, we need to challenge this modern cognitive frame. We need to stop judging evil solely on the basis of it not serving an immediate interest or pleasure. Likewise, healing should not be reduced to curing the illness. Healing means becoming whole again, becoming at peace with oneself, the world, and the Divine. 

Healing entails finding meaning and purpose that is bigger than ourselves and bigger than our suffering. It entails bringing all who we are, body, mind, heart, and soul into a relationship with the Divine. As physical suffering is drawing us towards a bigger life meaning and purpose, to a vocation and a calling, in reality, it is drawing us towards God. To find our calling, we need to know ourselves; and to know ourselves, we need to know God. Such knowledge allows us to understand the interconnectedness of all things around us and within us and the relationship to and ultimate dependence of this amazing web on its One and Only Creator.

Listen to the inspiring story of Ali Banat: Gifted with Cancer, May God bless his soul.

At a point on our journey, we are forced to withdraw into our “innermost cave” where life challenges become just too much for us to bear... when we realize that it is not about power, strength, or fighting… when we finally accept that it is okay to be vulnerable.

In our innermost cave, we learn to be humble, we clearly see our limits as human beings and we acknowledge our limitations.
    
The cave is dark, cold, and scary, like the dungeon prophet Joseph (Yusuf) was thrown into… Yet, it is in this cave that our connection with God gets stronger, it is there where we realize that God is our only solace… it is there where we meet God on the deepest level… we meet Him as servants and slaves meeting their Master… we meet Him in awe and humility… we meet Him as our souls as dying from starvation and thirst… only His presence can feed our souls and only His words can quench our thirst.

Sometimes, all what we need to do is pause and connect… come back to our deepest core … to the place that Marie Schwan describes as “Home.” Home is this beautiful innermost place within us where we are truly ourselves. Home is a place where we are profoundly and genuinely connected to God, speaking to Him in our own words and mindfully listening to His reply.

    Al-Harawy (d. 1089 C.E. /481 A. H.), the eleventh-century Muslim scholar and Sufi mystic, describes human beings as travellers on a life-long journey towards knowing God. This hundred-stage journey starts with the most critical step: Awakening. For him, awakening is achieved through awareness:

• Awareness of the blessings in everyday life,
• Awareness to our misdeeds and pitfalls that might drive us away from God or throw us off track, 
• Awareness of the passage of our time. As we are running on autopilot riding the hamster wheel every morning.

 
Awareness is essential to reach this pure centre inside each and every one of us, this Home, that is still deeply in touch with its Creator… with God who is above time and space, yet who is “closer to [us] than [our] jugular vein,” (Q, 50:16).
    
​In our innermost cave, as we connect with God… as we strip bear our soul… as we become humble and in awe, we learn to surrender… We learn to let go and let God show us the way… the way to Him… the way back “Home” to who we truly are.

Also check staying connected blog
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​Since the dawn of civilization, one fundamental question that has always perplexed human being is “why?” Why is there so much suffering in the world? Illnesses, physical pain, and suffering could be debilitating and crippling. Nevertheless, for some people, they turn out to be the most rewarding experience of their life, a blessing for them and others. 

Trying to just go through life with the illusion that only by willpower we can achieve everything is just that: An illusion… Our rational, logical self-control is like a rider on the back of an elephant. The rider seems to hold the rein and direct the elephant… But, the rider can never force the elephant into a direction it does not want to go into. The elephant is the one running the show… We have always learned that Ramadan fasting is there to strengthen our willpower… it is there to train us to be more in control of our desires… but unfortunately, we got the mechanism all wrong… if we treat our fasting as mere training of self-restriction and self-control… we will be further wearing off our self-control muscle… Ramadan Fasting is not a physical exercise that trains us to withstand our hunger… Neither is it a psychological exercise that teaches us to control our desires, temptations, and urges. Ramadan Fasting is a spiritual practice… We reduced Ramadan to numbers and rituals (and an endless supply of sugars, fats, and carbs). Our heart and soul are not into it… We drugged the elephant so that it takes a nap until we finish the holy month; We dissociated our hearts from the whole process… because our hearts are already very heavy, exhausted and weary... So how can we make the best out Ramadan? How can we tame our elephants?

​Mindfulness is an integral part in my own self-care practices. I learned its value years ago during a family dinner at a friend’s house. As we set in the garden at sunset, I smelled an amazing fragrance enveloping the air. “That’s my Queen of Night,” my friend explained pointing at the alluring tiny white flowers in the corner of her garden. Those enchanting flowers release their special aroma with every sunset. “They seem to send a gratitude message to the Divine at the end of each day”, my friend told me. “They remind me to send mine,” she added.
The following day, I accompanied my daughter to her weekly karate class. I sat in the club’s playground reading a book as I was waiting for her to finish. The sun was setting and with it came this enchanting fragrance again… I looked around me and there it was, the glamorous Queen of Night!
Suddenly, it occurred to me that I have been sitting in this exact spot, at the exact same time every week for the past 4 months. The Queen of Night has always been there, sharing its beauty with whoever was mindful enough to receive it; sharing its Divine gratitude reminder with whoever is aware enough to remember. I simply wasn’t.
Mindfulness is intentional conscious practice. It differs from self-awareness in that it involves both internal and external insight. You are not just aware of your inner feelings and thought; you are also fully aware and engaged with your surroundings. I guess I was too involved in my inner environment that I lost touch with my outer setting. 

My 3 big goals for 2018 are: (1) launching my signature training program "A Brave Woman's Journey of Self-Discovery" hopefully you all going to love it! I have been working on it for a long time now and it is one of the best curricula I have ever developed; (2) establish a woman circle where I live so we can actually meet and create our little community of brave, ambitious, like-minded women who support and help one another and support and help their communities. (3) finish at least 7 more courses of my Master's degree.

Now it is your turn... Take out your journal and make some reflections! 
​Happy New Year!

​Years ago, I read a play called The Fate of a Cockroach by a famous Egyptian writer, Al Hakim. It is the story of a wife who woke up one morning to find a cockroach in her bathtub. The woman panicked and screamed waking up her husband who volunteered to kill the beast. The wife closed the bathroom door and waited outside for her husband to come out victorious. She waited and waited...
 
Starting to worry, she cautiously opened the bathroom door and peeked inside to see her husband sitting in front of the bathtub looking at the little beast in admiration.

• “What the heck are you doing?” Asked the wife in astonishment.
• “Shhh!” replied the man,  “Come and look at this amazing creature. What a tremendous perseverance and patience it has!”

The wife came closer, still very cautiously. She saw the cockroach as it was trying to escape by climbing the slippery walls of the tub and sliding off again and again before even reaching half way out. Still, it kept trying … tens and even hundreds of times non-stop.
The wife, failing to see any meaning in what this ‘stupid’ insect is doing screamed at her husband: “Are you crazy? What are you waiting for? Just kill it!!!”
 
The husband totally ignored her and kept looking at the cockroach in admiration.
Desperate, the wife reached out to her neighbors for help. The couple came quickly and the man head straight to the bathroom to help get rid of the cockroach.
 
Again, time went by with no news. The two women went into the bathroom; they saw their husbands leaning on the bathtub with their eyes wide-open and big smiles on their faces. They were happily following the little insect’s trips up and down the tub wall with tremendous admiration for its perseverance, determination, and forbearance.
Soon, a fight started between the two couples. The men on one side tried to explain the reason for their amazement and the women on the other just asked for the death sentence of this horrible beast. The argument suddenly came to an end when they smelled a strange odor. Running into the bathroom, they saw the maid standing victoriously with an insecticide bottle in her hand and the cockroach lying on its back in defeat.
 
I loved the way each character in the story dealt with the ordeal. They symbolized the three different way of approaching a problem. One person can take some time to admire the meanings and learn useful lessons (the two men in the play); another can just deal with the problem any way he/she can and get it over and done with while failing to perceive any hidden wisdom (the maid in the play). And still, a third can just panic and run around asking for help taking no action and blaming others for his/her failure (the wives in the play).
Setting aside the sexist orientation of the writer, I love the wisdom in his story: Don’t kill the beast… it is here to teach you something!
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One of my favourite books about anxiety and mental illness is Sarah Wilson’s First We Make The Beast Beautiful. Sarah wrote about her life long struggle with anxiety and OCD and how she finally managed to get her life on track by admiring the uniqueness of her own mind and digging into the wisdom of her challenge. Instead of fighting and drugging ‘the beast’, she shifted her efforts into ‘making the beast beautiful’… It is not easy… In fact it is much easier to drug the life out of our beasts… but it is much more rewarding to learn and grow with them.
 
We all have challenges, pains and struggles… we all have ‘beasts’ that keep us awake at night and bring tears to our eyes… they are here for a reason… they are here to teach us something, to help us grow… Don’t kill the beast… you’ll find a way to make it beautiful… 

​What is missing in your life? Why are you unhappy, stressed or tired? Which areas of your life need your attention?
 
I saw women staying years on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication trying to cope with their stressful reality, life demands, and loneliness…
 
I saw women going ballistic every ‘time’ of the month and others suffering form hot flashes and menopausal symptoms just trying to survive because they had no idea what their body was trying to tell them… they did not know what those Body Whispers® meant and how to heal them...

This is why I developed the Body Whispers® system after years of studying, teaching and working with my clients. The purpose of The Body Whispers® System is to help you quickly identify which areas in your life need your attention so that you can experience getting your life back on track.

• Backache, fatigue and depression start when you have issues with safety, security and belonging.
• Bones, joints & knee pain are related to feeling out of place, or stuck… feeling that you don't belong here. Traditional systems say that the knees store your fears… and pain in the hip, legs and feet indicates your reluctance to move forward in life.
• Kidneys & bladder malfunctions are your body’s way of telling you that you’re 'pissed off', you need to let go… let go of fears, worries and frustrations
• Sex organs & female hormonal imbalance - things like PMS, hot flashes, uterine fibroids, PCOS, and ovarian cysts – are trying to tell you that you are missing joy, excitement & creativity in your life.
• Colon problems like IBS, Crohn’s, colitis, hemorrhoids, bloating, or chronic constipation are signs that you are holding on to the past, and you are unable or unwilling to let go of what no longer serve you.
• Liver & gall bladder issues are related to Anger & toxic emotions.
• Pancreas problems are related to power struggle especially in cases of pancreatic inflammation or cancer. And, if you lack sweetness in life, pancreatic problems could surface in form of lower secretions like diabetes and poor digestive flow.
• Stomach issues are about losing strength, feeling victim & helpless or unable to ‘digest’ your current situation and reality.
• Lungs and respiratory issues are related to grief and the need to make room to breathe & take life in again.
• Heart problems like arrhythmia and palpitation show issues with self-love, care & forgiveness.
• Blood & circulation problems are telling you that life is not flowing smoothly and that you need more joy, smoothness, and harmony.
• Breast cancer in women is always related to self-care & self-nurture issues… women who have been giving, giving and giving so much and neglect their own needs for care and love.
• Throat & thyroid whispers want to tell you that you need to be heard; you need to reclaim your authentic voice. This area is also related to issues with surrender and learning to align our will to the Divine will without compromising or giving up on your dream nor ignoring your authentic voice.
• Nerves and Nervous system complaints show you that you need to stop and reflect on the lessons, the meanings and the wisdom behind what is happening in your life.
• Head & brain issues like headaches, migraine, memory problems indicate resistance to life flow, over-thinking, and inflexibility in your approach to life stresses and challenges.

 
 
Now, it is your turn to take some time and reflect on each area… Listen to you Body Whispers® before they turn into screams!

1. Remain curious
 
One of my main ‘secrets’ of generating joy and happiness in life is remaining curious… When you look at life as an open field of surprises and adopt an attitude of excitement about whatever life throws at you, this opens a whole range of possibilities. Curiosity is proven to calm down the fight and flight response in the amygdala and helping in coping with daily life stresses. It also helps you look outside the box and increase dopamine and serotonin release in your brain which lifts your mood and makes you more passionately engaged and motivated.

The 24th of July is the international self-care day (ISD). The practice was initiated in UK in 2011 to raise awareness of the importance of taking time to take care of your physical and motional needs. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), “Self-Care is what people do for themselves to establish and maintain health, and to prevent and deal with illness. It is a broad concept encompassing hygiene, nutrition, lifestyle, environmental factors, socio-economic factors, and self-medication.”

In my years of practice I saw that when scientists talk about self-care, the recommendations are so dry and crude: eat healthy (whatever this means), exercise, connect with family and friends, manage your stresses… and the list goes on and on…
We all know that, but how the heck can we do it?

• We know that we have to eat healthy, but this peace of cake is the only ‘sweetness’ that we have in life
• We know that we need to exercise but we lack the energy to even get out of bed in the morning
• We know that we need to connect with family and friends but everyone in busy in their own little bubble and Facebook gave us the illusion that we are connected but are we, really?
• We know that we need to manage our stresses but we keep running and running like a headless chicken we don’t even know what we are running for (or from)…

 
How can we take care of ourselves if, deep inside, we believe that we are not really worth it?
How can we take care of ourselves if, deep inside, we are filled with shame and blame and ruthless comparison with those photoshopped images and beauty products ads?
 
I believe that self-care stems from self-love. It all starts with self-love, self-acknowledgement and self-appreciation.

I had a question from a reader lately asking me to elaborate on the why? Why should we care about our physical, mental and spiritual health?

• You basically cannot eat healthy if you do not believe that your body is precious enough and deserve to be taken care of.
• You won’t find the stamina to be physically active if you do not start from a place of passion about life and your role in it.
• Your family and friends will appreciate you, believe in you and support you as much as you are willing to appreciate, believe in and support yourself first.
• And you will keep running and running like a headless chicken until you give yourself permission to pause, breathe and choose…

 
The why starts by feeling how precious you are. You are the creation of God, you are beautiful, you are loved, you are acknowledged by your Creator and you should start by taking care of those 2 precious gifts He gave you: You Body & your Soul.
 
So, here my friends are my 3 essential steps to start with:

1. List all the things you love about yourself (even if your high school teacher disagrees), all your achievements (small, big or tiny), all your talents, powers, potentials (physical ,mental or emotional)…. You have my permission to toot your own horn here!
2. Now, embody those traits and characters. Feel them, acknowledge them and live them… Remember, you have to believe in yourself first for people to believe in you.
3. Make a list of your ‘apples’ and have one every day for the next 7 days. Apples are things that make you genuinely happy, fulfilled, thrilled, and/or replenished. If you did not read my ‘apples’ story, you can find it Here.