When young adult prisoners’ diet was supplemented with multivitamins, minerals and essential fatty acids, researchers noticed a striking reduction in their anti-social behavior, violence and aggression [1].

When school children with ADHD showing no improvement on standard drug treatment, received essential fatty acids daily for six months, parents reported significant improvement in “restlessness, aggressiveness, completing work, and academic performance”[2].

And, when 95 British middle managers were given dietary supplements to compensate for missing nutrients in their diet, after eight weeks, significant improvement in activity, mood, cognitive and behavioral strain, and stress management was recorded[3].

A closer look at those above examples shows us a staggering pattern that is recurrent in our everyday life: teenager and young adult violence and aggressiveness; school children hyperactivity, restlessness and poor academic performance; and, managers and employees stress, mood disturbance and lack of motivation. No one can deny that those behaviors are complex psychological and social problems that should be addressed from more than one perspective. Yet sometimes, the answer, or at least an important part of it, is closer than we could imagine: Our diet!

More and more studies are pointing at the importance of proper nutrients consumption for mental, social and cognitive behaviors and a simple look at our dinner table show us the damage we are inflecting upon ourselves and our loved ones. Typical modern-day diet is very poor in nutritional value, vitamins, minerals and fibers, yet very high in calories, refined carbohydrates and the wrong types of fats. This diet, studies show, is not only directly related to cardiovascular problems, inflammatory and chronic diseases, but it is also directly related to stress, mood disturbance, irritability, lack of motivation, inappropriate social behaviors, low cognitive performance and poor memory.

Studies show a significant correlation between the type of food we choose to eat and our mental health. Increased consumption of processed and refined foods is linked to anxiety [4]. Low intake of fruits, vegetable, and good quality meat is linked to increased stress levels [5]. Daily consumption of sweets and candy at the age of ten is linked to increased violent behavior in adulthood [6]. Eating junk food at the young age of 4 is associated with hyperactivity and behavior problems in childhood as well as later in life [7]. Omega-3 fatty acids deficiency is linked to depression and dementia, and omega-3 supplements are shown to prevent aggression and hostility, control anger and improve social behavior.

How Does it Work?

To understand the mechanism behind food effect on our mental health and social behavior, bare with me as we take a closer look at our biochemistry and physiological reactions.

Blood sugar level:
When we look at our mood swings, anxiety and irritability, the first culprit that comes to mind is erratic blood sugar level (BSL). Both hypoglycemia (low BSL) and hyperglycemia (high BSL) are detrimental to our health. The first drains our energy and depresses our mood and vitality; the later predisposes us to obesity, diabetes and uncomfortable mood swings.
When our blood sugar is low, our body sends us a signal usually by making us more fidgety, anxious, and stressed or by making us crave sweets and stimulants. Since we are always ‘on the run’, we fetch a quick fix. We resort to a chocolate bar, candy or cake to supply us with the required sugar ‘dose’; we get a cup of coffee, can of coke or smoke a cigarette to give us a boost of adrenaline, the well known fight-and-flight neurotransmitter that raises our BSL.
Eating instant refined sweets, although life saving in some cases, can start a vicious cycle of swinging blood levels of insulin and sugar which further disturbs our mood, increases our stress, and predisposes us to diabetes. Also raising our adrenaline through caffeine or nicotine aggravates our stress and anxiety, and, on the long run, affects our blood pressure, heart, and immunity.

Nutritional needs:
An erratic BSL is not the only mechanism by which out modern diet wrecks havoc with our mental and social health, a diet lacking in many essential nutritional values is another major disruptive mechanism.
Amino acids, the building blocks of protein, are also the building blocks of our neurotransmitters; these are what Candace Pert, the famous neuroscientist, calls ‘molecules of emotion’. From the amino acid tryptophan for instance, serotonin, our mood boosting neurotransmitter, is synthesized. Low serotonin levels are linked to suicidal tendency, depression, violence and aggressive behaviors [8].
The amino acids phenyl alanine and tyrosine are the building blocks for dopamine and nor adrenaline, our motivational and feeling-good neurotransmitters. Dopamine also plays an essential role in controlling the reward and punishment processes in our brain [9]. We need a constant supply of essential amino acids to keep our mood and emotions in check. The right balance, amount and type of the amino acids are determined by the composition and quality of our dietary protein.
B vitamins are other missing essentials. They play an important role in metabolism and nervous system health. They are also directly involved in the synthesis of many neurotransmitters. Besides, vitamin B6 is known to reduce risk and even treat premenstrual depression, and vitamin B12 deficiency is linked to dementia [10].
Omega-3 fatty acids deficiency is linked to depression and dementia[11], and omega-3 supplements are shown to prevent aggression and hostility[12], control anger and improve social behavior[13].
Essential minerals, especially zinc, manganese, chromium, copper and iron also contribute their share. Chromium helps controlling BSL and iron is an important factor in neurotransmitters synthesis [14]. Iron deficiency is linked to depression and depleted energy [15].
Other vitamins are involved in our complex behavioral adjustment. Vitamin C, E and A are essential for nerve cell health, vitamin D deficiency is linked to depression and neurodegenerative diseases and vitamin K plays its role in nervous tissue biochemistry[16].

What Should we Eat?

Research performed in British and US prisons showed that aggressive and anti-social behaviors even in criminals could be corrected, at least in part, through dietary intervention [17]. And, needless to say, the natural and synergistic effects achieved by consuming whole natural food in a balanced diet is far better than administering individual nutrients in capsules and pills.
For an optimum performance and optimum state of mind, we need first and foremost to balance our BSL.
The safest and most effective way to do that is balancing our diet quality, quantity and timing.

• We need to eat healthy diet with whole grains, lots of fruits and vegetables, nuts, seeds, and legumes.
• Choose high quality lean animal protein and remember that a little goes a long way; these are great compact protein source, so you do not need much.
• Eat fish at least once or twice a week and consume 1-2 tablespoons of flaxseeds or chia seeds daily to supply your need for omega-3 fatty acids.
• Eating balanced healthy three meals a day with two snacks in between supply us with the needed energy and nutrients to sustain our health and adjust our mood.
• Don’t skip meals and don’t forget your salad bowl along with your lunch and dinner.
• Take your time, enjoy the setting and feast your eyes before your palate.
• Avoid refined carbohydrates, simple sugars, over processed goods, energy drinks and caffeine.
• Reduce your intake of food with high Glycemic Index and avoid all foods with added preservatives, colors or flavors.
• Do not consume Trans-fats, the un-natural fat found in margarine and fried foods.

Talbinah: Our Traditional Soothing Food
Traditional Books of Prophetic medicine talked about one of our best mood soothing foods: Talbinah. Talbinah is a thin barley soup made with barley flour and adjusted to a milky consistency (and hence its name Talbinah, from the Arabic word, laban– meaning milk). It could be sweetened with honey or served as savory soup with added spices. Aisha, The Prophet's wife, narrated, “If any of the Messenger’s family became ill, the Messenger would recommend Talbinah to be prepared. He says: ‘It soothes the grief and cleanses the ailing heart just as one of you cleans dirt off her face with water.’ “(Related by Ibn Maajah). Recent studies on the effect of Talbinah showed its significant effect in boosting mental health, relieving depression and anxiety and balancing the mood [18].




References:
[1] Gesch, B. et. Al. (2002). Influence of supplementary vitamins, minerals and essential fatty acids on the antisocial behaviour of young adult prisoners Randomised, placebo-controlled trial. The British Journal of Psychiatry . 181: 22-28

[2] Perera, H. et. Al. (2012). Combined ω3 and ω6 Supplementation in Children With Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) Refractory to Methylphenidate Treatment A Double-Blind, Placebo-Controlled Study. J Child Neurol: vol. 27 no. 6 747-753

[3] Ussher, J. (1995). The relationship between health related quality of life and dietary supplementation in British middle managers: A double blind placebo controlled study. Psychology & Health Volume 10, Issue 2

[4] Bakhtiyari, M.et. al. (2013). Anxiety as a consequence of modern dietary pattern in adults in Tehran-Iran. Eat Behav.: 14(2):107-12.

[5] Roohafza, H. et. Al. (2013). The association between stress levels and food consumption among Iranian population. Arch Iran Med. 2013 Mar;16(3):145-8.

[6] Moore, S., Carter, L. & van Gooze, S. (2009). Confectionery consumption in childhood and adult violence. The British Journal of Psychiatry:195: 366-367

[7] Wiles, N.J., Northstone, K., Emmett, P. & Lewis, G. (2009). ‘Junk food’ diet and childhood behavioural problems: results from the ALSPAC cohort. Eur J Clin Nutr. 2009 Apr;63(4):491-8.

[8] Lawrence, F. (2006).

[9] Lawrence, F. (2006).

[10] Bourre,  J. M. (2006). Effects of nutrients (in food) on the structure and function of the nervous system: update on dietary requirements for brain. Part 1: micronutrients. J. Nutr Health Aging. ;10(5):377-85.

[11] Bourre J.M. (2004). The role of nutritional factors on the structure and function of the brain: an update on dietary requirements. Rev Neurol. ;160(8-9):767-92

[12] Hibbeln, J. R., Ferguson, T. A. & Blasbalg, T. L. (2006). Omega-3 fatty acid deficiencies in neurodevelopment, aggression and autonomic dysregulation: Opportunities for intervention.  Int Rev Psychiatry. Vol. 18, No. 2: 107-118.

[13] Lawrence, F. (2006). Omega-3, junk food and the link between violence and what we eat. Retrieved from: The Guardian, http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2006/oct/17/prisonsandprobation.ukcrime

[14] Bourre, 2004

[15] Bourre,2006

[16] Bourre,2006

[17] Lawrence, (2006).

[18] Badrasawi, M.M., Shahar, S., Manaf, Z.A., Haron, H. (2013). Effect of Talbinah food consumption on depressive symptoms among elderly individuals in long term care facilities, randomized clinical trial. Clin Interv Aging. 2013;8:279-85.

Our brain is the most complicated organ in the universe. It is estimated that we have more synaptic connections between our brain cells than there are stars in the skies.
 
Yet, do we take proper care of this valuable asset of ours?
 
Depression, anxiety, brain fog, dementia, mood swings, phobias, ADD and loads of other mental and psychological complaints and illnesses became so common…We've become experts at labelling our conditions, yet we've failed miserably at healing them…
 
Here is a scenario I see so often… a story of everyday life: Michelle is stressed, tired, and depleted. As soon as she wakes up, she turns on the autopilot mode and rides the hamster wheel. Between her husband, her house, her kids and her work, she does not have the time to feed her body needless to say her heart and soul. She eats on the go, mainly processed carbs and sweets. She has no time to exercise, no time for social support, hobbies or leisure. Her pastime is watching the depressing news or chatting on Facebook. She bottles up her frustration and anger and swallows her pains with her morning and afternoon coffees.

No wonder her cholesterol levels shoot up. Her doctor puts her on statin. No one mentioned the side effects… her cholesterol levels become normal, but her energy goes down the drain, brain fog, fatigue, low libido and poor fat digestion… For her heartburn, an antacid was added… Again, no one mentioned any side effects. With no acid in her stomach, protein digestion and absorption became compromised. Proteins are essential to build the neurotransmitters, those magic molecules Dr. Candace Pert calls ‘molecules of emotions’… Another prescription was now essential, an antidepressant for her low mood, poor motivation and foggy brain…
 
It is my firm belief that our body and mind have a tremendous ability of heal, we just have to give them what they need… we need to properly feed our body, mind, heart and soul. Today, I will focus on my 7 essential rules of feeding your body so that you can heal your mind:


1. One-man food is another man’s poison.
I meet people with food intolerances and sensitivities everyday in my practice. You need to listen to your body: Is there any specific food that eating it makes you feel tired, depleted, anxious, irritable, moody, or makes your brain foggy? The best way to find out is to go on a well-designed elimination diet while closely monitoring your symptoms.
2. Skip that doughnut.
Refined sugars and carbs throw your blood sugar level out of balance which not only increases your risk of diabetes and heart disease, but also pumps up your fight and flight response, increases inflammation and messes up your hormones. Alzheimer's disease is now known among nutritionists as type III diabetes. Depression, anxiety and ADD have well-established links with increased refined sugar consumption. To balance your blood sugar level, you need to choose whole unprocessed grains and carbs and fiber-rich foods; you also need to eat on regular interval and include some form of protein with every meal and snack (egg, nuts, seeds, lean chicken, turkey, fish and veal are good choices).
3. We’re basically ‘fatheads’.
60% of the solid brain mass is fat… But not any kind of fat. Your choice of fat is essential for your brain health. Good choices are olive oil, coconut oil, avocadoes, nuts, seeds and fatty fish.
4. Water is the essence of life.
70% of our cells is water. I have seen cases of serious fatigue and brain fog resolve by simply hydrating properly. Make sure you drink at least 8 cups of water daily.
5. Your ‘emotions’ are made from protein.
Serotonin, dopamine and nor-epinephrine are your brain neurotransmitters. Dr. Candace Pert calls them ‘molecules of emotions’ as they are the ones responsible for your feelings of happiness, wellbeing, uplifted mood, focus, and motivation… Another close relative, melatonin, regulates your sleep cycle and heals brain cells while you sleep.
Those neurotransmitters are made from protein, or more specifically from amino acids found in high quality protein.
6. Turn off the furnace.
As we live in a highly polluted world and we are leading a pretty stressful life we set on an inflammation process in our cells. This low-grade chronic inflammation is like a low heat furnace that is cooking our cells at a very slow yet efficient pace. We need to turn this furnace off. The best way to do that is by integrating anti-inflammatory herbs and spices in your every day diet. Spices like turmeric and ginger are amazing anti-inflammatory. Other great choices are green leafy vegetables and colored fruits and veggies like berries, red bell pepper, pumpkins, and carrots…
7. Give your liver a boost.
Your liver is the primary detoxifying organ in your body and since the brain is highly susceptible to toxins, supporting liver detoxification is an essential tool in brain protection. Foods that boost liver detoxification are cruciferous vegetables (cauliflower, cabbage, kale, collard, broccoli…), artichoke, burdock root, green leafy vegetables and spices like turmeric and ginger.
 
Data shows that the rate of antidepressant use in US increased by almost 400% between the late 90s and early 2000s.[1]
 
No one of us want to be among those statistics… do we?
 
It’s time to move forward… it is time to take back responsibility of your own health…
 
Finally, it is essential to note here that to achieve mental and emotional health, you need to look at all of You: Body, Mind, Heart & Soul. Yes, you need to fix your diet and make better food choices, but you also need to dig deeper into your heart and soul, to listen to your Body Whispers and to reclaim your responsibility over your health and your life…
 
Let today be the beginning of your health and happiness journey.

     Between 1987 and 2002, 67.5 million antidepressant prescriptions were written in the U.S.; this accounts for almost quarter of the U.S. population. Many of the people taking the medication might, in fact, need it, but do they all? And, are they offered any other alternatives? In the late 1980s, early 1990s, Japanese strictly resisted the use of anti-depressants that Eli Lilly decided against selling Prozac in Japan. By early 2000s, however, Japan became a massive market for anti-depressants after removing what Bradley calls “cultural obstacles.”[1] All it took was few years to ‘educate’ people about the importance of those medications in their life. Huge financial investments, media shaping public view, and continued medical education funded by pharmaceutical companies are clear conflict of interest that most people tend to ignore. All those facts make me question who is really benefiting from Bell’s Let’s Talk initiative? It is a double edge sword, removing the stigma by ‘normalizing’ mental illness is a good intention, yet are we offered any alternative, other than the biomedical model?
​
     Junger, in his book Tribe, notes how history has never witnessed such high rates of depression and mental illness. As opposed to the traditional tribal culture where everyone is involved in a meaningful community role and purpose, modern Western culture, he adds, and I totally agree, makes us feel un-necessary and unimportant, which is one of the main reasons behind modern-day affective disorders.[2] Dr. Gabor Maté sees that a person with schizophrenia in a tribal culture holds a better chance of survival and well being than one following the Western medical model.[3] Our view on mental illness cannot be removed from the person’s context and culture. Our Western materialistic society focuses on achievements and possessions cutting off emotional, social, and spiritual needs, which, according to Maté, separates us from ourselves and paves the road for pathology.[4] Loneliness, is radically different from solitude. Loneliness is not about being alone; it is rather about the lack of belonging and the feeling of unworthiness. Belonging is a stepping-stone to our independence, freedom, and maturity.[5] Our self-image, self-esteem, and self-worth are major components of how we perceive and interact with our surrounding. And, this self-worth is defined within the context of the whole community.

       Taking a closer look at Western Muslim community, one notices the oppression, cultural stigma, and social isolation enforced upon people living with mental illness.[6] Attributing pathology to lack of faith is a way of blaming the victims for their own affliction. Sometimes, society could be more coercive towards people with disability than their physiological or physical limitation.[7] Initiatives working at eliminating social barriers and stigmas are so much welcome, they will allow disabled people to better integrate into the society and assume better responsibility for their own life.[8] But, are they truly authentic?

      Foucault, the famous French philosopher and social theorist, argues that coercion is no longer a direct phenomenon; it is rather a series of subtle disciplinary practices,[9] which gently causes the oppressed to internalize their own oppression. People start to discipline their own actions to comply with the ‘norm’ whatever the coercive power defines as ‘norm.’ The process happens in such a subtle way that most people do not even notice they are changing (like the Japanese cultural change discussed earlier). The hegemony of normalcy becomes a tyranny enforced by media ads, movies, novels, and the like.[10] In a way, eugenic practices are still applied to date albeit in a much subtle and ‘socially acceptable’ methodology. The most affected are people “located at the intersections of difference.”[11] Without realizing it, this difference, or ‘deviation from the norm’ becomes their identity. Replacing normalcy by ‘diversity,’ as the new trend is going here in Canada, does not quite solve the dilemma of mental illness discrimination either. In an open global economy where consumerism and lifestyle define one’s identity, the diversity picture does not make room for non-consumer mentally or physically disabled individuals.[12] 
​
       If we are to tackle the mental illness issue, we need to go beyond the psychiatric, genetic, biomedical, and even psychotherapeutic models, taking societal, cultural, intersectional, political, spiritual/religious, economic, and historical sides into account. We need to find alternatives and collectively work at raising human awareness.


[1] Bradley Lewis, Depression: Integrating Science, Culture, and Humanities (New York: Routledge, 2012), 73.

[2] Sebastian Junger, Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging (New York: Harpercollins Publishers, 2016), 10.

[3] Gabor Maté, The Myth of Normal (2016). From YouTube, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_j5mmBa4mw (accessed October 30, 2017).

[4] Gabor Maté, The Myth of Normal.

[5] Jean Vanier, Becoming Human, (Toronto: House of Anansi Press, 2010), 35.

[6] Sima Barmania,“Islam and depression,” The Lancet 4 (2017): 669.

[7] Tom Shakespeare, “The Social Model of Disability.”

[8] Mohammed Ghaly, “Disability in the Islamic Tradition,” Religion Compass 10, no. 6 (2016): 150.

[9] Michel Foucault, “Docile bodies” in Discipline and Punish: The Birth of the Prison. (Vintage Books, New York, NY, 1979).

[10] Lennard J. Davis, “Introduction: Normality, Power, and Culture,” 10.

[11] Nirmala Erevelles and Andrea Minear, "Unspeakable Offenses,” 359.

[12] Lennard J. Davis, The End of Normal: Identity in a Biocultural Era (Michigan: University of Michigan Press, 2014), 1-14.

2017 was a huge learning curve for me. Besides my Master's studies I read tons of books. And, as many of  you requested, here is my list of the best 15 books I read in 2017 (in no specific order): 
​

​1. In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction- by Gabor Mate.
This is the best book I’ve read describing addiction, and the meaning, implications and approaches to healing. Yet, don’t be fooled by the name, this book showed me how, in a way, we’re all addicts. We’re all trying to fill this emptiness inside us and everyone has his/her personal way of doing that.

​2. Cultivating Wholeness: A Guide to Care and Counselling in Faith Communities by Margaret Kornfeld. 
Although written for Christian faith communities, it is still extremely valuable for all communities. This book is a valuable asset for spiritual leaders and community builders.

3. Collective Narrative Practice: Responding to individuals, groups, and communities who have experienced trauma - by David Denborough. 

This book shows how our stories can heal us. It is about finding meaning in our challenges, a meaning that can not only help us but also extend beyond that to help the world at large. If you are a care provider, community leader or therapist who work in group coaching and counselling, this book is a great tool to add to your practice.

4. Love & Happiness: A collection of personal reflections and quotes by Yasmin Mogahed. 

Easy read, poetic, very deep and wise thoughts, as expected! I absolutely love it! It is an everyday companion in an ever challenging world.

5. Change Your Brain, Change Your Life: The Breakthrough Program for Conquering Anxiety, Depression, Obsessiveness, Lack of Focus, Anger, and Memory Problems by Daniel G. Amen.

​The book offers new holistic approach to Mental Illness. Although the author advocates brain scanning so much (which I am not really sure about), yet the book still holds valuable information about how brain works, what goes wrong and how to fix it in a holistic approach. One of the best I have seen especially that it comes from a well-known psychiatrist. 

​6. Expert Secrets: The Underground Playbook for Finding Your Message, Building a Tribe, and Changing the World by Russell Brunson.

​Great information for those of you who want to build an online community and market your online courses in a non-salesy way.

​7. How God Changes Your Brain: Breakthrough Findings from a Leading Neuroscientist by Andrew Newberg and‎ Mark Robert Waldman.

The authors show how the brain actually changes when we experience the Divine or the transcendent reality. The authors give scientifically proven tools to broaden this awareness and live in a more connected way.

​8. Revive Your Heart: Putting Life in Perspective by Nouman Ali Khan.

​Amazing lessons from the Qur’an written in Nouman Ali Khan's captivating interesting way. 

​9. Strong Imagination: Madness, Creativity, and Human Nature by Daniel Nettle.

This is a fairly old book, yet it offers radical view to mental illness, truly fascinating.

​10. First, We Make the Beast Beautiful: A New Journey Through Anxiety by Sarah Wilson.

The best book I have ever read about anxiety, depression, and OCD, a captivating memoire that highlights the struggle and the way to thrive with a ‘beast’ that the author finally decided to stop fighting and make it beautiful instead

11. The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom by Jonathan Haidt.

​Haidt compares the human mind to a rider (conscious, analytical mind) on the back of an elephant (subconscious beliefs, drives, and perceptions). Regardless of how much will power the rider has, he cannot move the elephant against its will. We need to learn how to “tame the elephant” which what the book is all about.

12. Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard by Chip and Dan Heath.

​Beautifully written book, good read for anyone who wants to make change whether on the personal, professional, or community levels.

​13. Alchemy of Herbs: Transform Everyday Ingredients into Foods and Remedies That Heal by Rosalee de la Foret.

I love Rosalee’s teaching, her approach to herbs is so natural showing how to integrate them in everyday life and how to choose the ones that suits your body  need and your temperament.

​14. Anything You Want: 40 Lessons for a New Kind of Entrepreneur by Derek Sivers.

​Best business book ever!  Feels like Sivers wrote it especially for an introvert like myself who find it very hard to embrace all the ‘have-to’ stated by modern-day business gurus. Derek’s rule is simple: Do anything you want!

​15. And, of course, I can’t end the list without my own book in its newly designed cover: Body Whispers: Unraveling the Emotional & Spiritual Root of Illness and Restoring Energy & Vitality. 

​If you did not get it yet, check out what it is all about here. The information in there are truly life changing... 

In the past month alone I had more than 20 clients and students approaching me regarding their anxiety issues…
The DSM (Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) lists more than 30 different disorders under anxiety… Yet, if you dig at the core of it, no one really knows what anxiety is and where it comes from…
 
Anxiety is very individualized condition. It comes in various shapes and forms, different severity and intensity. It carries different pains and signs and poses varying challenges for its sufferers.
 
New studies link anxiety to autoimmune disease, Hashimoto Thyroiditis being a common one I see in my practice… Yet, is it a cause or an effect of the autoimmune disease… No one knows for sure. What we know is that anxiety increases inflammatory markers in the body and the inflammatory markers in their turn increase anxiety- creating a viscous cycle. Turning on the furnace in our cells turns it on in our brain… Does this contribute to the onset of autoimmune disease? I believe so.
 
I have my own theory about anxiety, though. (I have my own theory about pretty much everything in my life I guess). I see the tendency to be anxious as a special personality trait… it is part of our character… in our genes… it is part of who we are…
 
People who are prone to anxiety are usually the over-achievers. Those who care and carry on with life on a full drive mode… They are the creative type, with a mind loaded with ideas, thoughts, plans and lists… a mind like a super World Wide Web firing in all directions ALL THE TIME!
I know… because this is how my mind feels like… And, this is totally fine… This is who I am and it is perfectly ‘normal’… my ‘normal’…
 
Who defines ‘normal’ anyway?
Who decides what ‘normal’ is or isn’t?
 
We’re all different and this is part of our charm. We complete and complement each other…
 
Anxiety-prone people are idea generators. We’re experts at connecting the dots, at seeing patterns in the randomness of chaos… We’re there to charge, drive and achieve… We’re here to move stagnated waters and shake sluggish sloth…
But, we can overdo it at times… We can burn the candle at both ends… We can scorch ourselves alive… we can keep running and running till we run out of breath… we can keep spinning on the hamster wheel till the wheel is ablaze…
So, our body sends us a signal… a Whisper to remind us that we need to slow down … This Whisper is our anxiety…
I see anxiety as a gentle (or may be not so gentle at times) warning sign sent our way to tell us that we’re over doing it… over thinking, over acting, over working… We need to slow down… slow down the pace of our life and the pace of our thoughts… we need to close those pop-up windows that keep surfacing out of no where and jamming our mental screen.
We need to slow down this crazy chatter and endless clutter of to-dos, ideas, information, worry and fears… 

​The best way of slowing down is meditation. I won’t list here the science behind it and the endless proofs of the positive effects of meditation on your health… The main thing is that it works. It has been proven time and time again that it does work. And, this is what matters.
 
There is no right or wrong way of meditating… The main idea is to sit in this silent space… And, with every exhalation, gently push away any surfacing pop-ups … let them float away like fluffy clouds…
 
Some people find it easier to focus on their breath; others choose a word or a phrase to focus on, be it an affirmation or a religious reminder of the Divine Names and Attributes… a name or attribute that you need to embody now in your life. Others choose a simple word that they need to live by like peace, love or let go… Again, it doesn’t really matter… What matters is carving the time in our busy hectic schedule to actually meditate EVERYDAY…
 
It is okay if you find yourself unable to calm down the chatter or turn off the pop-ups… it is totally fine… just sit with it and keep breathing… You’ll get there. 

I have been asked a lot: “What does it mean to generate happiness?”, “Do we truly have that choice?”…
Clients have told me again and again: “But, you don’t know what I am going through”… “May be it works for others but it is not possible for ‘Me”… “It may have worked for you, but my husband has a real bad temper”… “but my kids are so out of control”… “but I am in so much debt”… “but I have [insert name of disease here]”… The best answer for those statements is the title of Sean Stephenson brilliant book: “Get off your But!”
 
I don’t mean to be offensive to anyone here and I certainly do not under estimate the seriousness of what you are going through… Believe me, in my profession I have seen it all… And, I have also seen some amazing heroes and heroines who are going though sooooo much challenges and yet manage to find peace in their heart and happiness in their life…
​
It takes some effort to lift this depressive fog and you have to be willing to do the work… you might feel totally overwhelmed, depleted and have zero motivation to lift a finger… yet, you need to KEEP GOING! You need to keep taking those tiny steps forward EVERYDAY… no matter how you feel…
 
In Cognitive Behaviour therapy, it is believed that negative feelings are the result of negative thinking. Dr. Daniel Amen calls them ANTs - Automatic Negative Thoughts. You find yourself falling into an abyss of  “I am worthless”,  “I am good at nothing”, “I am a failure”, “What’s the point of trying”, “there is no use”… and the list goes on and on… Those ANTs creep into your mind and start generating their ‘stinging’ feelings. You become depressed, overwhelmed, hopeless, angry, frustrated…
And, in their turn those negative feelings generate self-defeating behaviours. You stay in bed longer, avoid friends and social gatherings, procrastinate… You are un-able and un-willing to work on your life and dreams - even if you love those dreams, you just can’t see the point of moving forward.

Depression is a vicious cycle and willing yourself out of it only causes you to sink deeper and deeper into your gloomy mood.
 
So, What can you do?
 
To change the depressing feelings, you need to change the two other components of the cycle:
- Your thinking pattern (your cognition)
- Your actions (your behavior)
 
Changing your thinking pattern:

1. Catch the ANTs
2. Stare them in the face
3. Talk back to them

 
Seriously! Start monitoring your trail of thinking. Whenever you catch yourself slipping into negative thinking pattern catch that ANT and quickly stick it in your journal. Write down exactly what that negative thought pattern was. What were you saying to yourself?
Notice here that I am asking you to catch the ANTs not the feelings. Let’s say your kid behave badly at school or came back with bad grades… Your ANTs start creeping in: “I did not do a good job”, “It is totally my fault”, “I am a failure, how can I be a good mother if my kid has such bad grades”, “I am worthless, I should have stayed with him instead of going to that stupid gym”, “He will never achieve anything in his life and it will all be my fault” … Those are the ANTs… if you let them, they will generate their stinging feelings: “I feel like crap”, “I am so down”,  “I feel like crying”…
We’re after the ANTs now, because we can actually do something about those ANTs:
Stare them in the face and talk back to them.
 
Look at what you wrote in your journal and reflect about it… Can you challenge those thoughts?
“I am a failure” – We call this generalization. Are you really a total failure? Are you failing all the time in everything you do? I am sure you are not.
Now that you stared them in the face, start talking back to them. “I may be in need to spend some more time with him, but I am still a good mother. I take good care of my kids.” “he may have failed this test, but there is a lot of room for improvement and he can certainly make it up if we start working on it”… “I may have needed some time for myself in the gym, but this does not mean I don’t give my kids enough attention, may be I need to manage my time differently, but I am definitely not worthless”…
 
See where we’re going here? This exercise might seem so simple and straightforward. You might even think, what’s the point? I know this stuff anyway. But, knowing is totally different from applying. Writing those ANTs down and talking back to them makes you able to catch even more and more ANTs that might be creeping their way into your mind un-noticed. It also help you “develop more objectivity” as Dr. David Burns explains. You will eventually stop taking those thoughts so seriously and start looking at them with a much realistic eye.
 
 
Changing your actions:
This is the tough part. When we fall into depression we basically experience motivation paralysis. We just want to sit there and do nothing. We feel hopeless, helpless and totally drained. Right?

So how can I ask you to start doing stuff?
It’s the old paradox of who came first, the egg or the chicken…

Movement, action and tiny achievement generate motivation.
Yet, we need motivation to start moving, doing action and make some achievements.

The not-very-pretty-truth is: you have to start moving! Any micro movement will start the wheel spinning. Don’t think about big goals or great achievements… don’t fret about those dirty plates in the sink and the over flowing laundry basket… I will get up and wash 1 plate. I know, this sounds ridiculous. What will 1 plate do? It will start the wheel spinning… believe me… I’ve been there. Just one plate, 1 washing machine load, 1 reply to 1 email, printing 1 file, writing just the title of that 1 report, reading 1 page of that text book… 1 tiny step. If you still can’t do it, think about an even tinier one… For some clients of mine, just getting out of bed and washing their face was an achievement that was worthy of celebration… it started the wheel spinning and eventually they lifted that fog.
 
So here you have it the main 2 steps to lift you off a depressing mood…

1. Catch the ANTs and talk back to them
2. Keep the wheel spinning

 
We’ll talk more about generating happiness in future blog… Meanwhile, I’ll leave you now to start catching some ANTs.
 
Have a great day

Do you know that you can protect your brain with simple diet and lifestyle changes? 

 January is Alzheimer Awareness month... ​

In 1997, 678 nuns participated in a study for mental power and function at old age. One nun’s story stood out, Sister Mary.

Sister Mary taught thousands of students during a career that spanned over nearly 70 years. When she retired from the classroom at age 84, she continued her mission as an educator until her death 17 years later. “In her "retirement" she continued to be active in her community and concerned about world events. She was an avid reader and was often seen poring over newspapers and books with her magnifying glass.” During her last functional assessment at the age of 101, sister Mary was mentally alert, aware and her memory, reasoning and knowledge were perfectly intact.

But, this is not the most important finding of the study. The most fascinating thing was sister Mary's brain scan. When scientists scanned her brain after she passed away, the scan showed the presence of lots of Alzheimer's lesions. Sister Mary’s brain actually had all manifestation of an Alzheimer’s patient brain, yet she showed no degenerative symptoms at all. She lived to a very ripe age with perfectly intact brain function, good memory, excellent orientation to her surroundings and awareness of current events.

Sister Mary was different from the rest of the nuns. She had a mission, a life meaning, and a passion. She remained passionate learner. She continued to be active in her community till her last days in life. She was known for her joyful spirit and laugh that boomed out of her room at all hours of the day and night.
Were these the characteristics that saved her brain? Scientists truly believe so.

​When we talk chronic degenerative diseases, prevention is always better that treatment. Alzheimer is now known as type III diabetes. It is a case of brain starvation where brain cells are unable to use glucose efficiently to generate the energy they need. This results in gradual brain degeneration.

Scientists believe that Alzheimer can be avoided years before it starts by balancing blood sugar levels, avoiding refined sugars and integrating healthy anti-inflammatory, brain boosting herbs and spices into our diet. Five herbs stand out here:

1. Sage
2. Rosemary
3. Turmeric
4. Ginger
5. Gotu kola

These herbs are available in most supermarket and health food stores. You easily Integrate them into your daily diet as teas, food spice, salad dressing, curry sauce or meat marinades.

Coconut oil is another amazing addition to your diet. Try integrating it into your daily recipes. It is great in cooking, baking, sandwich spread instead of butter, salad dressing mixed with olive oil and your favorite herbs… Studies show that the medium chain fatty acid content of coconut oil provides brain cells with the needed energy when they lost their ability to use glucose efficiently.

How to make yourself step out of bed in the morning? How to push yourself to start when everything seems to go the wrong way… When your body aches, your brain fails you and your heart bleeds? How to keep going even when no light can be seen outside the dark tunnel you’ve been living in for ages?

The answer is very hard… It’s hard because there is no magic pill for heartbreak, desperation or life struggles… Yet, there is a universal prescription: Just Do It!
 
By Just Do It I don’t mean to force yourself to do the daily chores that deplete you even further and I am certainly not asking you to smother yourself in in a fake gratitude and satisfaction bubble that self-help gurus advocate and which end up by you beating yourself up for not being good enough and not having enough will power… It is not about being good enough… it is not about how spiritual, evolved or grateful you are…
​
Sometimes our souls are so depleted, our hearts are barren and our bodies just purely ache… We’re human… when we reach this rock bottom, the least we can do is acknowledge our human weakness and vulnerability… the least we can do is stop beating ourselves up for not being good enough… the least we can do is start loving ourselves a bit more, caring for ourselves a bit more… this is the start…. Pause… Breathe… And, take the decision now… The decision to take care of ‘You’… to nurture ‘You’… to love ‘You’… this is not selfishness… You are worthy… you are enough… you are loved by the Divine who created you and He will protect you, guide you and take care of you… you only have to take this decision… the decision to Just Do It! Gently, slowly but steadily Just Do It!

​“unexamined life is not worth living, but if all you do is examining, you’re not living” 
Adam Lipzig

Sometimes, we get addicted to therapy; we fall in love with the process and lose sight of the destination… of why we initiated this process in the first place.
Journaling is a great tool for stress reduction, venting and self-examination. Yet, if all what we do is journaling, we are falling into the victimhood trap, we allow self-pity to engulf our lives and blind us from the real meaning of being alive.
However un-appealing or challenging our life is, there is always light at the end of the tunnel, we just need to keep walking.

With depression being one of the most diagnosed illnesses in our century, we need to stop and reconsider our approach. Journals, self-help books, and meditation CDs stack the shelves, yet they did so little towards reducing the rate of depression. People became addicted to therapy, to affirmations, meditations and hypnosis… Unfortunately, theses valuable tools became Band-Aids that cover the wounds yet rarely affect healing. They became symptomatic relief like the hundreds of prescription medications packing the shelves of pharmacies and drug stores. These tools sold the myth that life will somehow fall into place if we envision the happy ending and that the magic will appear if we just wave our wand… ‘Fly, and the net will catch you,’ they claim. As Elizabeth Gilbert says, this bumper sticker should be changed to ‘Fly, and the net might catch you!’ There are no guaranteed results. This is life with all its good, bad and ugly… with all its joys, sorrows, and challenges. We can’t pick and choose from the menu. We just have to do our part, keep moving, keep working, and most importantly, keep praying!
Surrendering the results is not always easy. I, for one, have really hard time embracing ambiguity. I need to know… Yet, ambiguity is part of the package.

For years, life seemed to remind me of this verse over and over again: “So that you do not fall into despair over what has escaped you, nor over exult over what you have been given” (57:23)
And, now that I finally got its meaning, I keep it in my heart all the time. It doesn’t ask you to supress your joy or avoid pleasures, nor does it expect from you to never experience sadness, frustration, anger or pain. It just lays a universal truth that we are not our possessions, belongings or entourage; we are not our achievements, successes, ranks or prestige… It is good to experience these; it is great to enjoy them. Yet, never let yourself be attached to them.
Life requires us to work and strive. It requires courage to keep going. It requires momentum. Meanwhile, it also requires patience, flexibility and bravery.
 
So, dear friend, don’t get trapped in therapy, whatever therapy represents for you… don’t let it blind you from real life. Go out there, do your part, strive, work and walk your path. And, whatever you do don’t sweat the little joys sent your way every moment along your journey.