Category:

On Letting Go...

20/11/2022

Every year, since I first came to Canada, I become fascinated by the sight of the bright colored tulips sprouting every spring. I learned that you plant the bulbs in October and they remain dormant during fall and winter until they miraculously bloom with the first signs of spring.

Back then, I bought some tulip bulbs – I decided to plant them in my garden. But, for some reason, year after year, I kept missing this narrow planting window. For some reason, every fall, my life got entangled in so much mess that I kept postponing my planting project waiting for the “perfect time” – "Maybe next year", I kept telling myself. I carried those bulbs with me as I moved from one house to another, from one city to another, still waiting for “the perfect time” to lay them in the ground. Finally, this fall, I decided not to wait any longer- plant them I will. So, I got the bulbs out of the storage box, prepared the ground, opened the bag, and lo and behold, here they were… all rotten!

It was such an aha moment. I laughed so hard. Here I was, carrying along a bag of rotten bulbs for years waiting for the “perfect moment – perfect life… perfect time… perfect place...
I wondered what other “rotten stuff” have I been carrying along? What other rotten memories… beliefs… ideas… illusions… dreams… have I been allowing into my life hoping that one day something good will come out of them?
What other rotten layers of my life was I refusing to shed… to let go of once and for all?
I finally threw away the old rotten bulbs and bought fresh new ones. This time, I didn’t wait for the perfect time and place. I didn’t wait for the best weather or best practices… I dug in the dirt and laid them with total faith that beautiful colorful tulips will emerge under my windowsill in the spring, God willing!

“If you become addicted to looking back,
Half your life will be spent in distraction
And the other half in regret.
You can live better than that!
Find happier friends.” Rumi

“If you stop reading from your own small view,
The phoenix will grant kingdoms then to you!” Rumi

Body Whispers: Neck problems

Neck problems are related to flexibility. This is your fifth chakra: your ability to find your authentic voice and use it in a good cause, yet, it is also about learning to align this newly found will with the Divine will. Learning to trust: when do you need to keep pushing and when do you need to let go - not out of helplessness or despair but out of faith and trust.

Ask yourself:

what is keeping me from moving forward, from moving on with my life?
Do I feel stuck? Why? What is holding me back? What “rotten stuff” am I refusing to let go of?
What other sides of the story am I stubbornly unable or unwilling to consider?

Mind the Duck

4/10/2022

The aftermath of the pandemic with all the fears and uncertainty it created left us with many challenges and many balls to juggle. Many of us are struggling to pay the bills, make ends meet, care for loved ones, and care for ourselves… And, as we are caught up in this daily grind, we’re also caught in what Rumi calls an eagerness/ urgency mentality that drives us to keep running and pushing and striving further and further.

Rumi calls this human disposition “the Duck of Eagerness” بطة الحرص and warns us that if we leave this Duck roaming around freely, it will take over our life turning the good qualities of eagerness and urgency into an extreme of greed and anxiety.

Here is how he describes this Duck:

The Duck is eagerness, for his bill is always in the ground
Looking for what is buried in abundance or scarcity
His gullet doesn’t stop for a single moment;
The only command he is willing to hear from God is “Eat!”
He is like a thief breaking into a house
And very quickly filling his bag
Cramming in it what is worthy and what is worthless
Pearls and chickpeas alike
He sees his time as limited
and opportunities scarce.
Fear overwhelms him
So he puts everything under his armpit in haste.

But, a true believer - filled with trust-
Conducts his affairs in leisurely manner.
He feels safe
He knows that he won’t miss anything;
And he feels secure from other competitors,
As he perceived the King’s justice.
No wonder he doesn’t hurry
He is calm
At peace that his appointed fortune won’t miss him
Hence he has deliberation, patience, and forbearance
He is content, altruistic, and pure at heart.

Rumi describes this Duck Disposition as greed; and advises us:
“The shackles of greed, on your hands and neck now break
New fortune then, from heaven you can take.”

To be honest, I never thought of eagerness as greed. In our fast-paced world, eagerness, urgency and haste are considered as positive qualities. But, looking more closely, the Duck Disposition generates a scarcity mentality, a fear-based attitude, a FOMO exaggerated by the endless social media posts and flashy ads. We end up insecure, impatient, overwhelmed, feeling unsafe and unsettled, running around, missing all the daily beauty and joys sent our way.

It is time mind the duck! Don’t let it take over your life…

Traditional Wisdom of the month

Rumi gives the simile:

“an armed frightened horseman rode ahead
Into a forest on a thoroughbred.
An archer standing there saw him and drew
His bow in fear, not knowing what to do.
He aimed to shoot, the rider shouted out:
‘I’m weak - don’t let my huge frame make you doubt!”

Rumi then explains:

“Your weapons are your trickery and plots-
They’ve wounded your own soul by taking shots.
Since from those tricks you’ve gained naught in the end,
Abandon them, so God good luck might send!”

Sometimes we hold on to our anxieties and fears unconsciously imagining that they are the shield and weapons that keep us safe, keep us in control, not realizing that they are doing us more harm than good.

As Elizabeth Gilbert puts it, “you are afraid to surrender because you don’t want to lose control. But you never had control, all you had was anxiety.”

Our fears and anxiety, our Duck Disposition are the weapons that we desperately hold on to as they give us the illusion that we are in control. But, those “weapons” are in fact what is shielding us from a joyful, peaceful life.

What are your weapons and shields that give you the illusion that you are in control?
What is your Duck busy snatching, missing the beauty and harmony of its surrounding?
How can you mind the Duck?

Body Whisper: Chronic Fatigue & Fibromyalgia

On Peace & Anxiety

6/9/2022

As many of you may know, every year I choose an emotion, a feeling that I want to work on and reach during this year. My word for 2022 is “Peace of Mind.” I am still working on it. Rumi, as always, has a lot to say about this. And, here are two of his quotes that left me more anxious and confused than ever:
“Be silent and wait and when the clear green fore-head-stone is given, wear it.”
And, “Don’t always be waiting to see what’s behind it. That wait and see poison your spirit. Reach for it.”

Ok, so now what exactly do you want me to do, Mawlana? Should I silently wait or should I not?

It took me some time to grasp the essential message in all traditional teachings – Life is a paradox… embrace the opposites, the ambiguity… listen to your heart.

In another place, Rumi advices, “Nothing happens until you quit contriving with your mind. Quit your talking!”
In CBT, we call this undesirable “contriving”, the ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts), those auto-generated thoughts that creep in- seemingly out of nowhere- and drag you down the rabbit hole.

An anxious mind is a mind loaded with ideas, thoughts, plans, to-dos, and scenarios… a mind like the World Wide Web firing in all directions all the time. Our ANTs generate negative feelings such as worry, fear, irritability, and helplessness. In their turn, the negative feelings initiate physical symptoms (hypertension, heart palpitation, high blood sugar levels, depressed immunity) and generate self-defeating behaviors that generate more ANTs and a vicious cycle sets in.

Anxiety is the body’s warning signal, the reminder that we need to slow down.

Psychologists identified ten most common cognitive distortions (another fancy word for ANTs) that lead us down this rabbit hole. We all have them in various extents, but each of us usually has 2-3 patterns that we fall in again and again.

You can download the sheet of the 10 most common CBT patterns HERE

Try to identify yours and monitor your thoughts this upcoming month. Use a journal to catch the “ANTs”. Whenever you see yourself slipping into a negative thinking pattern catch those ANTs and quickly stick them in your journal. Write down exactly what those negative thoughts were - What were you saying to yourself?
Explore why and how those ANTs arise, reflect about it… Can you challenge/refute those thoughts?
Can you “Quit your talking!”

When you chest is tight, your body is trying to tell you that there is a heavy weight, a burden, pressing on your chest that your are unable or unwilling to lift.
You are carrying too many responsibilities, running in all directions trying to meet everybody’s needs wondering when will you have time to meet your own… And, what are those needs of yours… you no longer know.
You are suppressing or avoiding your thoughts and feelings out of fear. Fear of facing the world… fear of facing your self… So, instead, you are putting on a mask that hides who you truly are.
And, on top of all that, there are stored grief and sorrow, and a deep feeling of loneliness and isolation. “Am I good enough?” You keep wondering. You have a need for intimate connection, a need to nurture and being nurtured, a need to love and be loved… A need to trust yourself and trust the world around you.

“When the house of the brain fills with a wanting,
Your heart gets crowded with anxieties.
The rest of the body maybe undisturbed,
But in your chest, there’s constant traffic.
Find a safe haven instead
In the strong autumn wind of awe
Let last year’s peonies blow off their stems.
Those flowers must go, so these new buds can grow.” – Rumi

Our modern life became more and more stressful It is like a race with us running like hamsters in a wheel. Maybe it is time to slow down and take a deep breath… Find the safe haven Rumi is talking about.

Rumi advises:
“Patience, not haste, gets you where you belong,
Slow down and heed the Beloved’s song.”

Let’s heed the Beloved’s song in our daily life… This month, let’s conclude every day by reflecting on one thing -at least one- that was sent our way that brought joy into our hearts.
In an increasingly frustrating and demanding world, let’s seek and focus on joy! Remember, you always have a choice!

Have a Blessed Joyful month :)

On Joy & Fear

8/8/2022

This month, I am writing about joy as this is exactly what I need to draw into my currently hectic life.

My personal journey to find joy started a few years back. It started when I realized that, throughout my life, I have been- and still is and hopefully will always remain- grateful and content. But, I can’t say that I was really joyful. I realized that joy is different from mere content and gratitude. It is also different from happiness. But, what is it? And how to attain it?

Brené Brown, in her book Atlas of the Heart, states that “happiness is stable, longer lasting, and normally the result of effort. It’s Low in intensity than joy, and more self-focused.” She writes that, for the ancient Greeks, happiness was a word that described “the freedom of the rich from normal cares and worries”. Joy is something else, she asserts, it is "sudden, unexpected, short-lasting, and high-intensity. It’s characterized by a connection with others, or with God, nature, or the universe. Joy expands our thinking and attention, and it fills us with a sense of freedom and abandon.” And, according to the ancient Greeks, “its opposite is not sadness, but fear.”

So, the opposite of joy is fear… This made so much sense.
Here a mini lesson about fear, I recorded a few years back and I still find relevant:

And, as I am resuming my journey towards joy, I want to share with you this beautiful poem by Rumi,

“No one knows what makes the soul wake up so happy!
Maybe a dawn breeze has blown the veil
from the face of God.

A thousand new moons appear.
Roses open laughing.
Hearts become perfect rubies.
The body turns entirely spirit.
Leaves become branches in the wind.

Why is it now so easy to surrender,
Even for those already surrendered?

There’s no answer to any of this.
No one knows the source of joy.

A poet breathes into a reed flute,
And the tip of every hair makes music."

It Is Written In the Sands

22/6/2022

There is an old Sufi tale about a Stream that flowed freely for years. It is said that he began his journey from up there in the mountains far far away… He passed through hilltops and lowlands… He survived ditches and travelled plains … until one day, he reached the desert.

The Stream has been through a lot on his journey and was certain that he can pull through this one too. So, he tried and tried; and the more he tried to cross the desert, the faster he kept sinking into its Sands… the Stream’s waters were disappearing and the Stream was gradually fading away.

Yet, he knew that he was meant to cross the desert… but, he had no idea how… And, he began to wonder why… Why was he facing such a hard task? Why can’t he just continue flowing as he used to? This is when the Stream heard a gentle subtle voice that seems to come from afar … the voice whispered: “the Wind crosses the desert, so can you.”
“But, the Wind can fly,” replied the Stream, “it can flow over those harsh arid Sands that keep sucking the life out of me.”
“Maybe you’re pushing too hard,” whispered the voice, “maybe you need to let go… Let go of your old ways of flowing… your old ways of knowing.”
“But, are there other ways of flowing… other ways of knowing?” Wondered the Stream.
“If you just allow yourself to be absorbed in the Wind, it can happily carry you to wherever you are meant to be.”
The Stream fiercely objected, “absorbed in the Wind? But, I will no longer be a Stream. What will I be? Who will I be if I let myself be absorbed in the Wind?”

“And, what will you be? Who will you be? If you do not?” Answered the voice. “If you keep pushing against the harshness of the Sands, you’ll soon be absorbed away or turned into a swampland.”

It was a hard choice to make… After all, the Stream only knew one way of flowing… one way of knowing. All his life, he has been flowing in his old familiar way… he has been knowing in his old knowable way... he was free, or so, he thought… he had never relinquished his control before… had never been absorbed before… “Will I stay me? Will I stay the Stream?”

“The Wind has been carrying the waters from the streams for years and years… it carries them to wherever they are meant to be”

“How do I know that this is true?”

“You need to trust. You need to believe.”

“But, will I remain the same Stream that I am today?”

“Your essence will never change… whether you become a new stream, a lake, or a river… whether you choose to sink in the Sands or turn into swamp or marsh... you are and will always remain you… your secret… your most essential you.”

The Stream was more confused than ever… So many questions needed to be asked. But, the answer did not come from the faraway whispers this time, the answer came from deep within. The Stream vaguely remembered once upon a time far faraway when he was held by the caring Wind… it felt safe… it felt true… or, did it?

And, the Stream allowed his waters to be absorbed in the Wind… and, the Wind gently carried the waters to the mountaintops far faraway. The Stream was watching and learning... He was flowing like he had never flown before… He was knowing like he had never known before...
The Stream still did not know where the Wind is carrying him… And, he still did not know what or how he’ll end up being… But, it felt true… it felt real… it felt safe. The Stream somehow knew that he still was and will always remain the Stream that he had always been and he also knew that he no longer was and will never remain the Stream he had ever been.

And, on his journey up to the mountaintops, he heard the familiar gentle voice whisper again, “We have always known, because we see it happen all the time."
And, this is why it is said that the journey of your Stream of Life is written in the Sands.

_______________
Ref. Tales of the Dervishes by Idris Shah

I’ve been hibernating!

2/3/2022

Winter with its cold and snowy nature is a time of slowing down. Nature takes a deep slumber turning inward… the animals hide in their dens and burrows; and the plants dig deeper into their roots. Seeds become dormant to avoid germination as the time and environment are not suitable or sustaining. Hibernation and dormancy help nature survive - They safeguard and sustain life until the time and environment are favourable once more.
Nature has a lot to teach us…

Here are some winter symbolism to reflect on:

Cold - for constriction, contraction, the yin side of the cycle- Cold drives us inward looking for warmth inside our hearts, drawing on our inner resources.

Dark - Winter nights are longer than the days - they reflect the silence, seclusion, connection with our deeper self, our deepest secrets and mystery. Darkness inspires introspection, self-evaluation and reflection. It also imbues calmness and preservation.

Snow - the magical white blanket reflects a majestic beauty that inspires awe and wonder. Purity, softness, gentleness - yet it can be frightening and damaging at times. Snow has the inherent yin and yang in its nature. It reflects harmony, flow and fluidity - yet it is restricted, rigid and inflexible at times.

The cold, dark, and snowing nature of winter forces us inward. It inspires resilience as we learn to draw on our inner resources for survival, for preservation of our energy and protection of our resources. The tough nature of the season teaches us to surrender, to stop trying to change what we cannot change. It teaches us to let go as we admire the cycle of death and rebirth. It teaches us to detach so we can start anew. Winter reflects vigilance, resiliency, and patience and inspires hope for new beginnings, for transition and evolvement.

Still, winter will be soon receding giving way to spring… And, the cycle continues.

You Can’t Drag an Elephant

1/2/2022

I use visual journaling to explore my feelings and understand what’s going on inside this messy chaotic head of mine. Art journaling helps slowing down the erratic firing of my brain’s neurons, snaps me out of the autopilot mode for a while and re-roots me in the present moment.

Sometimes my journal pages are chaotic, a perfect reflection of my racing thoughts. Other times, the process begins with simple colours or doodles and suddenly images start of magically force themselves onto the pages maybe in an attempt to add some sense to what seemed so non-sensical. And, this was the image that popped up on my journal page last week.

If you didn’t hear me talk about it before, my favourite metaphor of the conscious and the subconscious mind is Jonathan Haidt’s, “the rider and the elephant.” In his book The Happiness Hypothesis, Haidt depicts our subconscious mental reality as an elephant that has its own will. And, our analytical, logical conscious mind is the rider who is supposed to direct that elephant. Yes, the rider holds the rein… yet, the rider can never force the elephant into a direction it does not want to go. The elephant is the one running the show.
I take it that the image in my journal that day was trying to warn me that I am stuck in a futile attempt to drag my “elephant”. And, my poor elephant is in full panic mode.

Lately, I have been putting so much pressure on myself to achieve more than I could bear. I was desperately trying to tie all loose ends and put all my ducks in a row. The drawing made it very clear how ridiculous my attempts were. I simply cannot drag an elephant! I needed to slow down… maybe have fun with that little mouse dancing in the corner. It’s a tiny harmless mouse (I used to play with so many of them in my pharmacy lab), but the elephant cannot see that… my life problems might be rationalized away and I can put all the plans and strategies in place to deal with them, they are not scary, at least to the rider… yet my subconscious mind, my elephant, is envisioning all the dramatic scenarios that it can possibly think of… My “elephant” is frightened! It is stuck… It panicked… And, it froze!
If this rider in the image just stopped for a while and embraced the dance of the mouse, maybe the elephant will realize how harmless this seemingly dangerous creature is… Embracing the chaos… the dance of life… the unexpected (or maybe expected but un-welcomed) interruptions and changes…

Breathe… Slow down… Flow with the whirls and twirls of life, and, eventually, the elephant will calm down; and, only then, you can direct him wherever you want him to go next.

On Belonging...

7/1/2022

There is a district in old Cairo called Al-Sakakini. It is named after the beautiful mansion of Al-Sakakini family, a family of Syrian refugees who immigrated to Egypt more than a 100 years ago fleeing an oppressive regime in their homeland, leaving all their belongings and possession behind. Their son, the young Sakakini, was in his late teens when the family settled in their new country. He had only received elementary education and was working hard everyday to help his family stay afloat.

At that time, Egypt was digging the Suez Canal (the canal that connects the Red Sea to the Mediterranean). When they started digging, the workers were faced with a stampede of ferocious rats coming from all over the city eating supplies, destroying machinery, and spreading diseases. The management tried all kinds of rat poisons and traps but nothing worked. The rats kept multiplying, getting bigger, fatter, and more aggressive. The government announced that the whole project was about to fail and would soon be abandoned.

Our young Sakakini read the newspaper and a light bulb went on! Why not use cats to eat the rats? Can you imagine how people received his idea? He was made fun of, ridiculed and belittled: Don’t you think they have cats over there? Do you think no body tried that already? It is so obvious isn’t it... you're no genius!

Sakakini did not listen to the nay Sayers, he got cages, gathered stray cats from the streets of Cairo, and shipped them to the construction site in Suez. There, he released the cats and within 24 hours, the site was cleared. The digging was soon resumed and the news reached the khedive Ismail, the ruler of Egypt at the time. He was so impressed that he appointed young Sakakini as his personal adviser. Sakakini was a creative adviser and proved wise in many subsequent decisions. Soon enough, he was granted a mansion in a district that still carries his family's name more than a 100 years later.

Unlike young Sakakini, I have always been afraid to be different…
I feared that being myself, expressing my unconventional opinions, or taking a stand for what I believe in would prevent me from “fitting in,” from being part of the tribe, from belonging.

I grew up in my grandmother’s house, a big family home with doors always open to welcome everybody. I was this little girl sitting in the corner listening to grown-ups' stories… women who came to my grandmother for advice, counsel, and support…
My grandmother’s kitchen was constantly brimming with aromas and flavors. A big pot was continuously simmering preparing the most delicious lunch for any potential guest, neighbour, friend, or just for the mailman and the newspaper guy around the corner. I enjoyed trips with my aunt to the old spice souks stocking on spices, herbs, and teas… My grandmother had a recipe for every ailment and it worked every time. I became fascinated with women's stories and enchanted by the magic of those herbs and spices. “When I’ll grow up, I announced, I’ll be a story catcher, listening to people’s stories, giving them support, and sharing wisdom and healing foods like grandma's.” But, this is not a profession, I was told!

So, I stopped dreaming!

At school, I loved my creative writing class. In my eccentric brain, neurons are constantly firing in all directions generating uncontrollable stream of ideas, opinions, stories, and visuals begging to be expressed and shared. But, for some reason, my teacher did not seem to like my writing, “Writing is not your strength,” she advised, “ stick to science, this is what you’re good at.”

So, I stopped writing.

I then shifted to another passion, drawing and visual art. I enjoyed expressing emotions and feelings through colors, forms, and shapes. My father and my brother are talented artists, you could mistaken their drawings for photographs. But, my art is different, I drew emotions and human feelings… I drew experiences and build imaginative cosmos. So, when I declared that I wanted to be an artist, I was met with a definitive, “No way! ‘You’re not good at art!” They advised me in the most friendly way to “stick to science, this is what you’re good at!”

And, I stopped drawing!

When I graduated high school, I joined pharmacy. I was always good at science, so I’ve been told. But, this wasn’t my reason. Deep inside, I wanted to learn about those magical herbs I left back in my grandmother’s kitchen, I wanted to be an agent in people healing and relief like she was.
Unfortunately, the way herbs and remedies are taught in pharmacy stripped them from their magic, from their soul and reduced them to mere chemical formulas and Latin names. When I tried to express this humble opinion and maybe carve some path for change, no one understood what I was talking about.

And, again, I stopped! I remained part of the system.

I graduated top of my class and was hired as a teaching assistant in the faculty. I loved my work. I love biochemistry, I love teaching and lab experiments… but, there was always something missing, some part of me I left behind in my grandmother’s house, some part of me that I left when I abandoned the stories, the kitchen apothecary, my journals, and my sketchbooks.
But, I was now too busy climbing the ladder of academia and finishing my master degree in pharmacy. I needed to fit in… to be accepted… to remain part of the system.

Ironically, the more I struggled to fit in, the less I felt that I belonged.

Brené Brown teaches, “True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.”

When we settle into our ordinary life, we’re always sent signs… directions for the path, for the next step in the journey we are meant to embark on. Joseph Campbell calls it, “Call for Adventure”… This call starts subtle, like those unsettling feelings I had, the feelings that I am abandoning essential parts of who I am in a futile attempt to fit in… But, I did not listen, I did not heed the subtle warnings… So, they had to become louder and uglier.

As I finished my research and was ready to present my thesis, my faculty advisor refused to accept it unless I end my maternal leave and come back to work. With two toddlers at hand, I couldn’t do that. So, I was forced to submit my resignation in order for me to complete and receive my master degree. I cried day and night. I felt oppressed and unjustly treated… My years of hard work and my dream of becoming a university professor were shattered overnight. But, wait a minute… were those ‘my’ dreams? This “call” forced me to stop for a moment and reconsider my path. Was it really my path or was it the path that everyone believed was the best for me?
Leaving academia gave me the chance to dig into those passions I have abandoned years ago. I studied nutrition, natural health, spirituality and theology; and I loved every step along the way. I ended up with a degree in nutrition, a PhD in Natural Health, and a Master in Pastoral studies. I wrote books that I would have never written if I was still following a path that was not meant for me.

Brené Brown's words made so much sense now, “because we can feel belonging only if we have the courage to share our most authentic selves with people, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” I had to learn to accept myself, my true authentic self. Like young Sakakini, I had to learn not to fear being different. I had to learn that it is ok to “stand alone in the wilderness” at times or even most of the times. I had to learn to trust myself for me to be able to trust others.

Striving for belonging is a natural human instinct. We all need to belong. It is a tough, and at times scary, quest that requires us to keep “Braving the Wilderness.” “True belonging, Brené says, is not something you negotiate externally, it’s what you carry in your heart.”

The Pandemic: Who Let the Genie Out?

5/1/2022

In the tales of Arabian Nights, there is a story of a poor fisherman, who, everyday carried his net to the sea and return empty handed. The fisherman felt helpless and prayed, cried, and pleaded for God’s help. One day, after three failed attempts, the fisherman desperately cast his net for the fourth and last time. It came out with a copper lamp. Disappointed, he started cleaning the lamp , maybe he could sell it and buy dinner for his starving family. As he rubbed it, fumes filled the air and out came a huge genie.

The genie related his story. He has been trapped in the lamp for years. After a hundred years, he promised, “whoever saves me, I will make him rich beyond his wildest dream.” Then, the second century fled by, and the genie said, “Whoever saves me, I’ll open before him the treasures of the land.” When 400 years passed and no one showed up for him, the genie desperately pledged, “Whoever saves me, I’ll grant him 3 wishes.” Still, no one came for his rescue. The genie remained trapped for 1800 years – and with every passing year, he was becoming angrier and hungrier and ended up swearing, “Who ever saves me must die! I will grant him only one choice… He may choose how he would like me to kill him.” And, this was the choice he gave our poor fisherman.

The fisherman knew that the genie is much stronger, but our wise fisherman also knew that a human being always has the power to outsmart a beast. “I only have one wish, the fisherman said, I am so curious to see how a huge genie like yourself could fit in such a tiny lamp?” And, as soon as the genie squeezed himself back in, the fisherman sealed the lamp.
At this point, the fisherman had the choice to either cast the lamp back in the sea and get rid of the genie forever or make a deal with this angry hungry beast. But, could he trust him?
The fisherman learned his lesson, “the genie may have the muscles, but I have the Intellect.” He needs the genie. He could make use of his talents, if only he could submit him to his service… Despite his fear, the fisherman decided to release the genie after striking a deal that benefited both of them.

The genie in the story is the classic symbol of the soul. A soul entrapped and ignored for years until its anger and passion could no longer be contained. Those feelings are totally legitimate. With years of entrapment, the genie’s anger and passion were his motivation to find an outlet, to keep hope and keep going. Yet, those helpful tools have been percolating for so long that they ended up brewing the deadly concoction of pride, greed, temptations, envy, gluttony, wrath, and apathy.

Squeezed Heart

This time of the Pandemic, if I borrow Charles Dickens’ words, “It was the best of times... It was the worst of times.” It brought up the best out of people… It brought up the worst out of people.

But, the best and the worst have been already there… Lurking in the dark shadow of our hearts.

The pandemic squeezed our hearts revealing what has already been there… it rubbed the lamp and released our genie. For some, the heart was full of pain- denied, unexpressed pain. For some, it was full of anger - stored, percolating anger. Yet for others, it was full of hunger, needs, or maybe compassion or love or yearnings…

Yin-Yang Symbol

All these are legitimate, natural human feelings…

Sufis call the moments of challenges and suffering, Contraction. Contraction is sent our way to wake us up. To make us aware of those hidden crevices of our heart that get neglected as we are caught in the grind of everyday life. Contraction rubs the lamp and give an outlet to the genie before his anger and hunger go out of control. It is there to show us this hidden side of our soul. Yet, we have to remember that the choice remains ours: What do we do with the genie?

Embedded in every contraction is the potential for its own expansion. Like the white dot in the dark side of the Yin-Yang symbol.

We can choose to let our self, the ego in modern psychological terms (the genie) contract so that our heart, our intellect, our wisdom (the fisherman) expands and takes control drawing on the light of Divine love and mercy.

Or, we can choose to leave our heart in its contraction, expanding the ego and allowing it to take over - letting the genie rule with his angry, hungry, selfish pride.

It seems like an easy choice, doesn’t it? Yet, we all know it is one of the hardest choices to make. The genie is scary. It is hard to contain and even harder to please. On one hand, squeezing him into the lamp makes him angrier and hungrier, not to mention the waste of his tremendous potentials. On the other hand, taming him is a life-long struggle, the Greatest Struggle against the shadows of our own soul.

The fisherman, compared to the genie, seems like this tiny white dot in the black swirl. Yet, this dot is the source of light in the darkness, the wisdom in the chaos. The fisherman chose to tame the genie not to kill it. He knew that he needs it along his journey. The genie, with his anger and passion, is a prodigious source of energy that the fisherman needs for protection and motivation. Yet, the fisherman, with his wise discerning intellect, has to always remain aware and alert. He can never put down his guards.The genie can never be trusted. We can’t let the genie lead the way. We have to remain in control!

The Pandemic with all its aftermath, is in a sense, a global contraction. It rubbed the lamp and released our genie. It squeezed our hearts exuding a fermented brew. Yet, the choice remains ours, will we befriend and tame the genie, or will we let him squeeze our hearts to death?

Ready for 2022? Reflection #6

14/12/2021

Now that you decided how you want to feel in 2022, it is time to dig deeper.

For me, once I decided I want to feel At Peace, I started to ponder what does “at peace” mean to me? The same feeling can mean different thing to different people.

I took time to reflect and journal and three meanings came to mind:

Persistence, Congruence & Connection

Persistence: Reaching peace and tranquility is a hard task… it needs work and persistence. Persistence means continuing firmly on my course of action in spite of difficulty and opposition… Continuing to strive, to endure... Persistence is part of being resilient, content and patient… “Just keep going!” as Little Dori says.

Congruence: At peace requires that I work on keeping my body, mind, heart, and soul in agreement and harmony all the time. Again, hard task… but, hopefully doable.

Connection: Keeping my connection to my heart and soul, to God, to His Book, to my family, my community, to the world and to life itself.

These might not sound like “goals” in the conventional, western sense of the word, yet, at this stage of my journey, these psychological and spiritual goals seemed more important and more of a priority than any material achievements.

You might be at a different stage of your life, you might add some material goals like passing exams, buying a house or focusing on your family… That’s totally fine… Think and craft your list…

Have a beautiful week

About the Author

Hi, I'm Amira... I'm all for simple, natural, uncomplicated life... My core values are derived from my Islamic faith... My definition of wellness includes lots of smiles, human interactions, delicious food, music, joy, colorful paint, Mediterranean sunshine, blue sky and turquoise sea, care, love, compassion and deep heart-felt peace.
I love learning… I love books and art supplies… And, I am saddened by human conflict and intolerance.

I am an introvert who loves being around people... I love building communities and gathering around the kitchen table... I am a teacher at heart... I simplify complex health science and speak openly about heart and soul stuff...
I've been helping people on their health and healing journey for more than 20 years now and I am committed to be authentic, caring and a beacon of love and peace.

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My wellness coaching, workshops, teachings, and all the services I provide are at all times restricted to education, teaching and training on the subject of natural health matters intended for general natural health well-being and do not involve the diagnosing, prognosticating, treatment, or prescribing of remedies for the treatment of any disease, or any licensed or controlled act which may constitute the practice of medicine.
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