I am a big fan of positive psychology and I am a student of all those masters and their self-help books and teachings… Yet, too much of the good thing is not always better.
When un-experienced ‘guru’ jumped on the ‘positivity’ wagon, they totally messed up the core value of the teachings. Ignorance and fad led to the development of a generation obsessed with unrealistic positive expectations. A generation focused on being the healthiest, happiest, fittest, and smartest… A generation with an extremely low tolerance for failures or disappointments (which are normal part of our human journey) and worst of all a generation who feels entitled… who feels that the world owes them something, that they have an inherited right to every good, beautiful, amazing, wonderful… thing out there without earning it or working for it…
One of my biggest pet peeves is this crazy new trend of ‘forgiving’ your parents for what they did to you, for their human mistakes… this is part of the narcissistic mentality that is cultivated by that feelings of entitlement, the feeling that the world owes us a lot. I know that some parents do horrible stuff to their kids, but most parents do the best they can.
We are human. We sometimes stress out, shout at our children, and say mean stuff without even noticing… But, we are still doing our best just as our parents did their best.
Yes, we should forgive any un-intentional slip from their side, but first and foremost we should be thankful to them, we should be grateful for all their efforts and love even if they sometimes failed to show it… This is a totally different attitude than arrogantly announcing that we ‘forgive’ them for their mistakes and shortcomings. As adults, we are responsible for our own choices, our happiness or depression, our successes and failures and our values and self-worth.
When un-experienced ‘guru’ jumped on the ‘positivity’ wagon, they totally messed up the core value of the teachings. Ignorance and fad led to the development of a generation obsessed with unrealistic positive expectations. A generation focused on being the healthiest, happiest, fittest, and smartest… A generation with an extremely low tolerance for failures or disappointments (which are normal part of our human journey) and worst of all a generation who feels entitled… who feels that the world owes them something, that they have an inherited right to every good, beautiful, amazing, wonderful… thing out there without earning it or working for it…
One of my biggest pet peeves is this crazy new trend of ‘forgiving’ your parents for what they did to you, for their human mistakes… this is part of the narcissistic mentality that is cultivated by that feelings of entitlement, the feeling that the world owes us a lot. I know that some parents do horrible stuff to their kids, but most parents do the best they can.
We are human. We sometimes stress out, shout at our children, and say mean stuff without even noticing… But, we are still doing our best just as our parents did their best.
Yes, we should forgive any un-intentional slip from their side, but first and foremost we should be thankful to them, we should be grateful for all their efforts and love even if they sometimes failed to show it… This is a totally different attitude than arrogantly announcing that we ‘forgive’ them for their mistakes and shortcomings. As adults, we are responsible for our own choices, our happiness or depression, our successes and failures and our values and self-worth.
Other form of narcissistic mentality shows in the famous ‘mirror work’ exercise… Yes, I do advice my clients to stand before the mirror and look themselves in the eyes and announce that they are good enough, capable and powerful enough… But, again, this extra fluff of kissing yourself and sending bubbles of love and hugs and airy fairy and I don’t know what… now, we’re going overboard… Now, we cultivate a culture of entitlement, of narcissists who just feel they are the best and deserve the best without even striving for it.
There is a fine line between being a brave self-confident human being and between being an arrogant indolent. There is a fine line between nurturing love and care and between feeling entitled and superior. Please don’t fall in this new agey trap. Don’t cross the line… No one owes me or you anything.
There is a fine line between being a brave self-confident human being and between being an arrogant indolent. There is a fine line between nurturing love and care and between feeling entitled and superior. Please don’t fall in this new agey trap. Don’t cross the line… No one owes me or you anything.
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