Amira Ayad, PhD
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New Year Reflection: 2025!

19/11/2024

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Another year is almost gone… and again, I don’t know how, when, or where it went… so many things happened this year, and so many things didn’t.
​As we are preparing to move into the New Year 2025, let’s do our usual end of year reflection. It is time to sit in silence and ponder… time to dig into our soul looking for answers or making peace with not finding some of those answers.

Here are our 7 journaling prompts to reflect on.
If you are a paper and pen type of person like I am, you can print the images, stick them in your journal and dedicate some time every day during the remaining days of the year to reflect and make some decisions and choices.

Wish you all a blessed, happy, healthy and joyful New Year!
2025-reflections.pdf
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Despite life's endless challenges, there are always tons of things we are grateful for. God sends us grace and blessings every single day, every single moment. We just need to be awake and aware to receive them. For me, having a grateful heart is in itself the best Divine gift and blessing ever.

Write your list of at least 3 things you are grateful for in 2024. Allow yourself to breathe them in, embody them, and fully feel the gratitude within every cell of your body. God promises us: “If you express gratitude, I shall certainly give you more” (Q. 14: 7)
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​For many of us, thinking about our accomplishments might be challenging. Sometimes when we look at our life, we think we didn't achieve much because we didn't reach any concrete goals yet... This is mainly because we learned to measure our success from a Western mentality standpoint, looking only at material achievements - things that we can see, hear, touch, taste or smell; Things that we can perceive with our five external senses; and worse yet, things that others can see and praise us for. With all the selfies and hypes on social media, it is extremely difficult to even try to fit in… we can’t help but compare and we end up beating ourselves up and torturing ourselves with guilt and feeling worthless.
But, this shouldn’t be the case.
 Sometimes our biggest achievement is in laying the foundation and the groundwork for our next stage in life, our inner growth, our inner heroic journey that only God could see.
When considering your achievements this year, I invite you to first consider your heart, namely its state: Is its mirror well polished reflecting the beauty of your human spirit? Is it closer or further away from its Creator? Is it more loving, forgiving and caring? Is it more balanced? Is it braver, more courageous? Is it wiser and more just?

Take out your journal and start your reflection…

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Ambiguity and chaos have been integral parts of my life for years. 2024 taught me once again to make peace with them and to embrace my fears and worries as signposts rather than decision makers. I can't claim that I got rid of my anxiety for good, but I believe I achieved a good progress and still working on it. I learned to slow down and listen to my heart and let my spirit guide the way.

I've also learned that I have to speak up, to walk the fine line between fear and peace-making.
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I re-learned to connect to God on a much deeper level, talk to Him and embrace silence so I can listen to His answer. I learned to see Him in everything and everyone I encounter. I learned to love Him like I never experienced before.
 
Now, it is your turn. What lessons did you learn in 2024– the hard way?


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My mentor once told me, God is painting the most beautiful canvas of our life, if you keep holding on to the brush and insisting on putting your own colors, you will end up with chaos.
 
Painters know that adding just one wrong color to the mix can turn a beautiful vibrant paint into a muddy mess. I indeed need to let go of the brush… Letting go does not mean giving up. It means keeping the work while surrendering the results. refraining from being attached to any specific outcome… doing the best that I can while trusting the Divine to paint the ultimate piece of art for me.
Letting go of the need to control the outcomes.
Letting go of the need to know the outcomes.
Letting go of the need to know why.

 “Look round our world; behold the chain of love
Combining all below and all above.
See dying vegetables life sustain,
See life dissolving vegetate again:

All forms that perish other forms supply
-by turns we catch the vital breath, and die,
Like bubbles on the sea of matter borne,
They rise, they break, and to that sea return.
Nothing is foreign: parts relate to whole;
One all-extending, all preserving soul.
All served, all serving: nothing stands alone;
The chain holds on, and where it ends, unknown.”
- Alexander Pope (An Essay on Man, 1732)


Now, it is your turn. What do you need to let go of?
 

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The feeling I aiming for in 2025 is “Peace”.
One of the Divine Names in Islam is AsSalam, The Perfectly Peaceful, The Source of All Peace.
Joseph Campbell talks about a stage on the Hero’s journey called: “the Belly of the Whale”. It is like the dark night of the Soul, described by St. John de la Cross. One main characteristic about this stage is  that you do not get to choose when or how you get out of it… you just surrender… totally surrender and once you are ready, you’ll find yourself in the world again totally renewed and rejuvenated, totally transformed and restored – a better and more wholesome version of you… a version that is free from judgement, anger or resentment, a version that is filled with love for the world even if this world still seems unfair and unfriendly, a version that is connected to herself, to God and to the world… a version that is at peace with life ambiguity and paradoxes.

This is how I want to feel in 2025: At Peace... I want to find this Peace in my heart that only strive for love & service, that embodies the love and beauty that God created, that fully trusts God in the dark as well as in the light.

Now, it is your turn, how do you want to feel in 2025?



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When you decide how you want to feel in 2025, it is time to dig deeper. What is your Call for Adventure at this time of your journey?

I realized that I chose the same word back in 2022. At the time, feeling at Peace, for me, meant Persistence, Congruence & Connection.
This time, it is a bit different, the words that came to mind when I chose Peace were: Love, Beauty, Serenity, and Intimate connection with the Divine.
At this stage of my journey, these psychological and spiritual goals are more of a priority than any material achievements. Yet, I also added some career goals and family plans.

What about you? Where are you on your life journey? What is your Call for Adventure? What goals you would like to achieve? Think and craft your list.




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Studies show that mere positive visioning of the desired outcome is not enough to take us there. The “Law of Attraction” does not work if we do not do the work.

I like to divide my habits into 3 categories: Body, Mind & Soul.

Body – What healthy food, exercise, or sleep practices do you need to put in place that will help you reach your goals and desired feeling?

Mind - what mental habits, states, or beliefs do you need to adopt for your specific goals? What daily, weekly or monthly habits do you need to set in place? Ex. studying time, reading habits, silence and reflection time, accountability and tracking habits, reminders, social connection, self-care practices, relationship habits…

Soul– In our daily life, we feed our body and mind, but we forget to feed our soul – The only food for the soul is its connection with its source, with the Divine. How do you do that? Focus on your heart. Our heart is the gateway between this earthly realm and the Unseen – between the body/mind and the Divine spirit within us. What heart-based habits do you need to set in place for this heart to be able to reflect the beauty of your spirit?

Set some time to work on those habits and plans… Let’s make this New Year the best that we can.

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[Art, Stories & Body Whispers®] Tiny Everyday Choices

30/4/2024

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Story

A while back, I met Sara, a beautiful barista in her late 20s cheerfully preparing and serving coffee in my local coffee shop. But, she wasn’t always that cheerful.
Sara shared that she started early in life as a rebellious teenager in a broken household. One bad decision after another and she ended up homeless, living on the streets begging for her food.
One day, she was done. Life wasn’t worth living anymore. She had enough of those dirty smelly clothes; she didn’t even remember when the last time she had a shower; and her hair was all tangled up, greasy, and messy.
Sara headed to the subway and stood on the platform waiting for the train to arrive. She kept staring at the tracks, gathering her courage to jump.
Then, she heard a gentle voice, “Excuse me, madam, you dropped your backpack”. An old lady with a kind serene smile, approached Sara handing her the greasy backpack she nonchalantly dropped as she was moving closer to the edge of the platform.
A word stood out for Sara: “Madam!” - “She called me madam!” Sara told me, “This one word changed my life forever.” Sara silently picked up her backpack, nodded, and moved away from the tracks. This simple word gave Sara the tiny boost of self-worth and hope she needed. It gave her the courage, not to jump, but to try one more time.
She reached into her bag for a relatively cleaner shirt. She went to the washroom, cleaned herself up, and headed to the coffee shop just around the corner. Earlier this morning, Sara had passed by the shop, they had an ad asking for a barista but she brushed it off. Why would they choose me, she thought. But now, maybe they will… just maybe… after all, I am a “madam!” She thought. And, here she is, a cheerful barista by morning and a college student by evening.

But, this story is not about Sara. Today’s story is about this anonymous lady who handed Sara her backpack at the subway station. We’ll never know her name, and she’ll never know ours. She will probably never hear Sara’s story. She will never know that one word, one smile, one simple act of pure love and care she did that day saved a life.

Reflection & Journaling prompts

Our life is not about the big huge decisions - whether or not to buy this house, apply for that a job, move town or marry that person… The most important choices are the tiniest everyday moment-to-moment choices that weave the fabric of our lives. If sometimes, you think your life is meaningless, useless, and aimless - think again! One smile, one word, one kind gesture… are all it takes to make a huge difference in life. Mindful living is a choice. Interacting with life knowing that every single moment matters.

We are living in a difficult time. It seems as if the world has gone mad. People don’t make sense anymore. It is easier to pick up a fight than to slow down and listen to your neighbor.
Margaret Wheatley, in her book, Who Do We Choose To Be? Invites us “to create islands of sanity in the midst of a raging destructive sea.” Wheatley acknowledges that we might not be able to change the world, “but we can change ourselves so that we can be of service to this world,” so we can offer “compassionate presences and trustworthy companions to those suffering in this world.”
Prophet Mohamed taught that if the Day of Resurrection befalls you and you are suddenly witnessing the world ending while holding a seedling in your hand, do plant it. It is never too late and your service is never too little to make a difference.
The Quran teaches about the true servants of the Lord of Mercy who tread the earth gently, and when the foolish improperly address them, they only respond with peace. (Q. 25:63)
وَعِبَادُ الرَّحْمَنِ الَّذِينَ يَمْشُونَ عَلَى الأَرْضِ هَوْنًا وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلامًا

​What tiny act of service can you add to the world today?
What beauty did you miss on your way to work, to school, to life… today?
What opportunity were you given to empower another human being today?


Art

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Traditional Islamic texts teach that we all walk in life accompanied by three companions: Desire, Anger, and Fantasy.
Desire and Anger, on one hand, are our motivations. They drive us towards or away from people, situations, and experiences.
Fantasy, on the other hand, is our Storyteller. He shapes our perception of the world and weaves a story out of every encounter so that we can make sense of life. With our Fantasy we create our vision of the world, our understanding of how reality works. This understanding, in turn, shapes our values and our choices.

Fantasy is the most valuable yet the most dangerous of the three companions. He is a trickster, an amazing storyteller whose stories are but figments of our imagination. This does not mean that reality is but an illusion or that our trauma, pain, and challenges are not real… They most probably are. It is the story that we build around them that might not be.
Fantasy is this annoying little voice in our head that keeps reminding us of how bad we’ve been, what a failure we are, how harsh is the world, how unfair is our boss or how painful our experiences… He might be there to serve us, to warn us at times. Yet, we should never let him lead the way. We need to stay in charge of our story. If we are awake and aware, our Fantasy will show the way but won’t be leading it.
Mindfulness helps us stay in charge of the stories he tells so we can choose to accept, alter, or reject them. We can always ask him for a better story, a richer narrative.

The kind lady who helped our barista chose to ignore the dirty clothes and the smelly hair that her Fantasy companion most probably weaved into the story. The images and details are the same but the story can change: “a filthy smelly person. She is probably an addict. I need to stay away from her. Her hair must be full of lice.” Or, “a poor homeless person who did not have the good fortune I had in life, let me be kind to her.”
The choice is yours.

Open a new page spread in your journal. Brainstorm a list of 10 phrases that you need/want to cancel from your daily self-talk. Like:
  • I’m not good enough
  • I’ll never make it on my own
  • I’m not that smart
  • Life is so hard
  • If I help her/him/them, they’ll be better than me
  • I have to be rude and harsh so that they respect me more
  • I have to be nice so they will love me more
  • Self-care is a luxury I can’t afford
  • I don’t have time
  • Why does this keep happening to me …

After you finish, pick a color that represents this voice, the voice of your Fantasy. You can use crayons, paint sticks, pens, collage papers…
Draw an image or a representation of your Fantasy companion.
Remember, there is no right or wrong way of doing it. Your art could be realistic or abstract… don’t worry about the drawing skills… don’t worry about coloring inside the lines, perspective, or proportions… just freely capture the feelings you are experiencing.
Take your time and then jot down any additional words that come to mind.

Now, look at your art:
  • What color did you use? What texture? What shapes?
  • How strong, sharp, heavy, or light are the colors, lines, and shapes?
  • How powerful is your Fantasy companion? How is it affecting your life and your daily choices?
  • How aware are you of his presence?
  • Who is in charge?
  • How does your Fantasy help and how does he hinder your good choices?
  • If you want to add yourself to the page, where would you be?

Traditional Wisdom of the Month

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​The Arabic word for choice is Ikhtiyar, which has its root in Khayr. Khayr means goodness. In other words, choice is not considered a choice if it is not rooted in goodness.
This opens a whole other debate about what is considered good.
A simple answer would be, as the Prophet taught, “Consult your heart.”
Deep in our hearts (our souls) we know good from evil. Yet, only a pure heart can truly discern the difference.
Rumi compares the heart to a mirror that reflects the Divine light - it needs continuous polishing to keep it from getting rusted and darkened.
“Love wants its tale revealed to everyone,
But your heart’s mirror won’t reflect this sun.
Don’t you know why you can’t perceive it here?
Your heart’s mirror is rusty - scrape it clear!”
- Rumi, MI: 34

This is not an easy task. Most of the debris that clouds the mirror starts as invisible tiny specks, unnoticeable and undetectable. They build up with every tiny choice we make in life. With time, as they accumulate, they opacify the face of the mirror - and like the boiling frog - the process falls out of our conscious awareness until it is too late.
Polishing our hearts is a lifelong endeavor. It is the greatest struggle and the ultimate task of a human being.

Body Whispers

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The power of choices resides in our fifth chakra. When out of balance, we experience the Whispers in various forms: Swallowing problems, throat problems, voice issues, tonsillitis, Thyroid issues, shoulder and neck pain…
When your throat chakra is out of balance, you are unable or unwilling to trust - trust yourself and your choices, trust your judgment, trust God, trust the flow of life and the experiences you are facing, trust the chaos and ambiguity, trust people and relationships.
When we feel disempowered and oppressed, it is almost impossible for us to empower others.
If you are experiencing problems aligning with/trusting/ accepting the Divine will in your life, you will be unable to speak your truth and stand up for yourself.
The fifth chakra holds the delicate balance between finding our voice and aligning this voice to the Divine will; the balance between fighting and banging our head against the wall trying to change what we cannot change on one side, and experiencing helplessness, resignation, and powerlessness on the other. It is finding our integrity and using our voice and our tiny daily choices in the service of others and the benefit of the world.

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[Art, Stories & Body Whispers®] On Staying Challenged

6/9/2023

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This month story builds on last month’s Daring to Live theme. It’s about staying challenged.

Story

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The Japanese love sushi, but the waters around the island do not hold many fish. So, companies built large fishing boats to go farther out to sea. But, the farther out they went, the longer it took to bring in the fish home. The catch was not fresh anymore, and the customers’ culinary palate detected the difference. To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go even farther and stay longer.
However, the Japanese could easily taste the difference between fresh and frozen. And, sushi can’t be made with frozen fish. So, fishing companies installed fish tanks on their vessels, into which they stuffed the live catch. After a little thrashing around, the fish stopped moving in the tanks; they were dull and sluggish but stayed alive. Unfortunately, this solution did not work either. The Japanese could still taste the difference - because the fish had not moved freely for days, they lost their fresh-fish taste.
Finally, they found the solution in a simple saying: 'A person thrives, oddly enough, only in the presence of a challenging environment.' To keep the fish lively and fresh, fishing companies added a small shark to each tank. Sure enough, the shark ate a few fish, but the rest arrived in a vibrant energetic state. The fish were challenged!

Art

Draw a big rectangle on your page - this “tank” is your life - In it, jot down all the autopilot routine roles you have to play on a daily basis: driving to work, office stuff, replying to emails, cleaning, cooking, studying, taking care of the kids, spouse, watching TV…

Now, add a shark to your tank!

Remember, there is no right or wrong way of doing it. Your art could be realistic or abstract… don’t worry about the drawing skills… don’t worry about colouring inside the lines, perspective or proportions… just freely capture the feelings you are experiencing.
Take your time and keep adding any words that come to mind.

When you are ready, take a good look at your art:
  • What color is your shark? What shape, texture?
  • Is it big or small?
  • Does it look docile or vicious?
  • Did it take all the space or was it a tiny representation on the side?
  • Which "Fish" will the shark swallow first?
  • What is the shark trying to push you to do?
  • How scary is this challenge?
  • What blocks/ stands in the way?

Traditional Wisdom of the Month

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“Dance, when you’re broken open.
Dance, if you’ve torn the bandage off.
Dance in the the middle of the fighting.
Dance in your blood.
Dance, once you’re perfectly free.”
- Rumi, from Coleman Barks The Essential Rumi






Reflection & Journaling prompts:
  • Is there an area (or areas) of your life that is/are starting to stagnate, to feel stale, areas that  are slowly decaying, that are gradually becoming lifeless, sluggish and dull?
  • What “shark” do you need to add to your life to keep things flowing?

Body Whispers

As you know by now, your Body whispers are unique to you… You need to sit and listen.

Generally speaking, the main energy centre that starts to whisper when we are leading a meaningless, dull, boring, and lifeless existence, is our sixth chakra.
Our sixth chakra energy feeds our senses, our central nervous system and the pituitary gland.
​The pituitary gland is the master commander of our endocrine system directly governing the hormonal functions of the first chakra (the adrenals), the second (the sexual organs), and the fifth (the thyroid) along with many other critical roles.
When your days feel dull and lifeless, the whispers start. They might manifest as stress, anxiety, or immunity malfunction (first chakra-related disorders); PMS and reproductive tract disorders (second chakra-related issues); metabolic dysfunctions and thyroid hyper or hypo activity (fifth chakra-related disorders); or eye, ear, and nerve issues (sixth chakra-related disorders). Listen!
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I'm Glad I didn't Listen

5/12/2022

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I grew up in my grandmother’s home. I was this little girl sitting in the corner listening to grown up stories… women who came to my grandmother for advice, service, and support. I have always been fascinated with the women stories and their wisdom. When I’ll grow up, I announced, I want to be counselling people listening to their stories and giving them support and wisdom like my grandma did. But, “This is not a profession,” I was told!
So,  stopped dreaming.

At school, I loved my creative writing class, I had loads of ideas, opinions, narratives, and views to express…  But my teacher did not like my writings… “Writing is not your strength,” she advised, “ stick to science, this is what you’re good at,”
So I stopped writing.

I then shifted to another passion… drawing, painting and visual art. My father and my brother are amazing artists, you could mistaken their drawings for photographs. But my art is different. I draw human experiences and healing. I express emotions and feelings through colors, forms and shapes. So, when I declared that I wanted to be an artist, I was met with a definitive “No way! You’re not good at art!” They advised in the most friendly way…“stick to science, this is what you’re good at!”
So, I stopped drawing!

When I graduated high school, I joined pharmacy. I was always good at science. But this wasn’t actually my reason for joining. Deep inside, I wanted to learn about those magical foods and herbs I experienced in my grandmother’s kitchen. Her kitchen was consistently brimming with aromas and flavors. A big pot was always simmering preparing the most delicious lunch for any potential guest. I have been enchanted by the magic of those recipes. I wanted to be an agent in people healing like she has been. Unfortunately, the way herbs and plants are taught in pharmacy stripped them from their magic, from their soul and reduced them to mere chemical formulas and Latin names. When I tried to express my point of view, no one understood what I was talking about.
So, I stopped trying.

I graduated top of my class and was hired as a teaching assistant in pharmacy. I loved my work. I love biochemistry. I love teaching and lab experiments. But, there was always something missing, some part of me I left behind in my grandmother’s home... some part of me that I left when I abandoned the kitchen, the stories, the sketchbooks, and the journals. But, I was now too busy climbing the ladder of academia and finishing my master degree in pharmacy.
So again, I stayed part of the system.

But, thankfully, not for long!
Fast forward… Now, decades later, I am glad I did not listen to the Nay Sayers.

My journey taught me to listen to my heart, instead, and not to fear being different.

  • They told me supporting women through stories is not a profession… I now practice narrative therapy, offer workshops and retreats, and my books are used to facilitate women’s support group around the world.
  • They told me I cannot make herbs my study and the kitchen my pharmacy… I now use herbs and natural products to restore health in most complicated conditions doctors fails to cure.
  • They told me I can never be a writer… I published 6 books, 2 of them have been translated into more than 10 languages and read and taught by 1000s around the globe.
  • They told me I’m not good at art… My art has been part of juried exhibitions and my art journals published in Canadian publications. I even integrated art in my work as a healing tool for self-exploration and expression.

Recently, I’ve been told of other things I cannot do and things I’m not good at…

My self-confidence took a hard blow and I retreated in my own little bubble. Then, I remembered my journey. And, maybe, once more, I need to choose whether to listen. I know now that it is my choice and I know that whatever I choose, the answer is never in hiding… the answer is in keeping the momentum.

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On Letting Go...

20/11/2022

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Every year, since I first came to Canada, I become fascinated by the sight of the bright colored tulips sprouting every spring. I learned that you plant the bulbs in October and they remain dormant during fall and winter until they miraculously bloom with the first signs of spring.

Back then, I bought some tulip bulbs – I decided to plant them in my garden. But, for some reason, year after year, I kept missing this narrow planting window. For some reason, every fall, my life got entangled in so much mess that I kept postponing my planting project waiting for the “perfect time” – "Maybe next year", I kept telling myself. I carried those bulbs with me as I moved from one house to another, from one city to another, still waiting for “the perfect time” to lay them in the ground. Finally, this fall, I decided not to wait any longer- plant them I will. So, I got the bulbs out of the storage box, prepared the ground, opened the bag, and lo and behold, here they were… all rotten!

It was such an aha moment. I laughed so hard. Here I was, carrying along a bag of rotten bulbs for years waiting for the “perfect moment – perfect life… perfect time… perfect place...
I wondered what other “rotten stuff” have I been carrying along? What other rotten memories… beliefs… ideas… illusions… dreams… have I been allowing into my life hoping that one day something good will come out of them?
What other rotten layers of my life was I refusing to shed… to let go of once and for all?
I finally threw away the old rotten bulbs and bought fresh new ones. This time, I didn’t wait for the perfect time and place. I didn’t wait for the best weather or best practices… I dug in the dirt and laid them with total faith that beautiful colorful tulips will emerge under my windowsill in the spring, God willing!
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“If you become addicted to looking back,
Half your life will be spent in distraction
And the other half in regret.
You can live better than that!
Find happier friends
.” Rumi 

“If you stop reading from your own small view,
The phoenix will grant kingdoms then to you!
” Rumi 
​



Body Whispers: Neck problems

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Neck problems are related to flexibility. This is your fifth chakra: your ability to find your authentic voice and use it in a good cause, yet, it is also about learning to align this newly found will with the Divine will. Learning to trust: when do you need to keep pushing and when do you need to let go - not out of helplessness or despair but out of faith and trust.
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Ask yourself:
  • what is keeping me from moving forward, from moving on with my life?
  • Do I feel stuck? Why? What is holding me back? What “rotten stuff” am I refusing to let go of?
  • What other sides of the story am I stubbornly unable or unwilling to consider?
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Mind the Duck

4/10/2022

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The aftermath of the pandemic with all the fears and uncertainty it created left us with many challenges and many balls to juggle. Many of us are struggling to pay the bills, make ends meet, care for loved ones, and care for ourselves… And, as we are caught up in this daily grind, we’re also caught in what Rumi calls an eagerness/ urgency mentality that drives us to keep running and pushing and striving further and further.

Rumi calls this human disposition “the Duck of Eagerness” بطة الحرص  and warns us that if we leave this Duck roaming around freely, it will take over our life turning the good qualities of eagerness and urgency into an extreme of greed and anxiety.

Here is how he describes this Duck:

The Duck is eagerness, for his bill is always in the ground
Looking for what is buried in abundance or scarcity
His gullet doesn’t stop for a single moment;
The only command he is willing to hear from God is “Eat!”
He is like a thief breaking into a house
And very quickly filling his bag
Cramming in it what is worthy and what is worthless
Pearls and chickpeas alike
He sees his time as limited
and opportunities scarce.
Fear overwhelms him
So he puts everything under his armpit in haste.

But, a true believer - filled with trust-
Conducts his affairs in leisurely manner.
He feels safe
He knows that he won’t miss anything;
And he feels secure from other competitors,
As he perceived the King’s justice.
No wonder he doesn’t hurry
He is calm
At peace that his appointed fortune won’t miss him
Hence he has deliberation, patience, and forbearance
He is content, altruistic, and pure at heart.

Rumi describes this Duck Disposition as greed; and advises us:
“The shackles of greed, on your hands and neck now break
New fortune then, from heaven you can take.” 

To be honest, I never thought of eagerness as greed. In our fast-paced world, eagerness, urgency and haste are considered as positive qualities.  But, looking more closely, the Duck Disposition generates a scarcity mentality, a fear-based attitude, a FOMO exaggerated by the endless social media posts and flashy ads. We end up insecure, impatient, overwhelmed, feeling unsafe and unsettled, running around, missing all the daily beauty and joys sent our way.

It is time mind the duck! Don’t let it take over your life…
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Traditional Wisdom of the month

Rumi gives the simile:

“an armed frightened horseman rode ahead
Into a forest on a thoroughbred.
An archer standing there saw him and drew
His bow in fear, not knowing what to do.
He aimed to shoot, the rider shouted out:
‘I’m weak - don’t let my huge frame make you doubt!”

Rumi then explains:

“Your weapons are your trickery and plots-
They’ve wounded your own soul by taking shots.
Since from those tricks you’ve gained naught in the end,
Abandon them, so God good luck might send!” 

Sometimes we hold on to our anxieties and fears unconsciously imagining that they are the shield and weapons that keep us safe, keep us in control, not realizing that they are doing us more harm than good.

As Elizabeth Gilbert puts it, “you are afraid to surrender because you don’t want to lose control. But you never had control, all you had was anxiety.”

Our fears and anxiety, our Duck Disposition are the weapons that we desperately hold on to as they give us the illusion that we are in control. But, those “weapons” are in fact what is shielding us from a joyful, peaceful life.
  • What are your weapons and shields that give you the illusion that you are in control?
  • What is your Duck busy snatching, missing the beauty and harmony of its surrounding?
  • How can you mind the Duck?

Body Whisper: Chronic Fatigue & Fibromyalgia

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On Peace & Anxiety

6/9/2022

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As many of you may know, every year I choose an emotion, a feeling that I want to work on and reach during this year. My word for 2022 is “Peace of Mind.” I am still working on it. Rumi, as always, has a lot to say about this. And, here are two of his quotes that left me more anxious and confused than ever:
“Be silent and wait and when the clear green fore-head-stone is given, wear it.” 
And, “Don’t always be waiting to see what’s behind it. That wait and see poison your spirit. Reach for it.”

​Ok, so now what exactly do you want me to do, Mawlana? Should I silently wait or should I not?


It took me some time to grasp the essential message in all traditional teachings – Life is a paradox… embrace the opposites, the ambiguity… listen to your heart. 

In another place, Rumi advices, “Nothing happens until you quit contriving with your mind. Quit your talking!” 
In CBT, we call this undesirable “contriving”, the ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts), those auto-generated thoughts that creep in- seemingly out of nowhere- and drag you down the rabbit hole.

An anxious mind is a mind loaded with ideas, thoughts, plans, to-dos, and scenarios… a mind like the World Wide Web firing in all directions all the time. Our ANTs generate negative feelings such as worry, fear, irritability, and helplessness. In their turn, the negative feelings initiate physical symptoms (hypertension, heart palpitation, high blood sugar levels, depressed immunity) and generate self-defeating behaviors that generate more ANTs and a vicious cycle sets in.
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Anxiety is the body’s warning signal, the reminder that we need to slow down.

Psychologists identified ten most common cognitive distortions (another fancy word for ANTs) that lead us down this rabbit hole. We all have them in various extents, but each of us usually has 2-3 patterns that we fall in again and again.


You can download the sheet of the 10 most common CBT patterns HERE

Try to identify yours and monitor your thoughts this upcoming month. Use a journal to catch the “ANTs”. Whenever you see yourself slipping into a negative thinking pattern catch those ANTs and quickly stick them in your journal. Write down exactly what those negative thoughts were - What were you saying to yourself?
Explore why and how those ANTs arise, reflect about it… Can you challenge/refute those thoughts?
Can you “Quit your talking!”

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When you chest is tight, your body is trying to tell you that there is a heavy weight, a burden, pressing on your chest that your are unable or unwilling to lift.
You are carrying too many responsibilities, running in all directions trying to meet everybody’s needs wondering when will you have time to meet your own… And, what are those needs of yours… you no longer know.
You are suppressing or avoiding your thoughts and feelings out of fear. Fear of facing the world… fear of facing your self… So, instead, you are putting on a mask that hides who you truly are.
And, on top of all that, there are stored grief and sorrow, and a deep feeling of loneliness and isolation. “Am I good enough?” You keep wondering. You have a need for intimate connection, a need to nurture and being nurtured, a need to love and be loved… A need to trust yourself and trust the world around you.

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“When the house of the brain fills with a wanting,
Your heart gets crowded with anxieties.
The rest of the body maybe undisturbed,
But in your chest, there’s constant traffic.
Find a safe haven instead
In the strong autumn wind of awe
Let last year’s peonies blow off their stems.
Those flowers must go, so these new buds can grow.”
– Rumi


Our modern life became more and more stressful It is like a race with us running like hamsters in a wheel. Maybe it is time to slow down and take a deep breath… Find the safe haven Rumi is talking about.

Rumi advises:
“Patience, not haste, gets you where you belong,
Slow down and heed the Beloved’s song.”


Let’s heed the Beloved’s song in our daily life… This month, let’s conclude every day by reflecting on one thing -at least one- that was sent our way that brought joy into our hearts.
In an increasingly frustrating and demanding world, let’s seek and focus on joy! Remember, you always have a choice!

Have a Blessed Joyful month :) 
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On Joy & Fear

8/8/2022

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This month, I am writing about joy as this is exactly what I need to draw into my currently hectic life.

My personal journey to find joy started a few years back. It started when I realized that, throughout my life, I have been- and still is and hopefully will always remain- grateful and content. But, I can’t say that I was really joyful. I realized that joy is different from mere content and gratitude. It is also different from happiness. But, what is it? And how to attain it?

Brené Brown, in her book Atlas of the Heart,  states that “happiness is stable, longer lasting, and normally the result of effort. It’s Low in intensity than joy, and more self-focused.” She writes that, for the ancient Greeks, happiness was a word that  described “the freedom of the rich from normal cares and worries”. Joy is something else, she asserts, it is "sudden, unexpected, short-lasting, and high-intensity. It’s characterized by a connection with others, or with God, nature, or the universe. Joy expands our thinking and attention, and it fills us with a sense of freedom and abandon.” And, according to the ancient Greeks, “its opposite is not sadness, but fear.”

So, the opposite of joy is fear… This made so much sense.
Here a mini lesson about fear, I recorded a few years back and I still find relevant:
And, as I am resuming my journey towards joy, I want to share with you this beautiful poem by Rumi,

“No one knows what makes the soul wake up so happy!
Maybe a dawn breeze has blown the veil 
from the face of God.

A thousand new moons appear.
Roses open laughing.
Hearts become perfect rubies.
The body turns entirely spirit.
Leaves become branches in the wind.

Why is it now so easy to surrender,
Even for those already surrendered?

There’s no answer to any of this.
No one knows the source of joy.

A poet breathes into a reed flute,
And the tip of every hair makes music."
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It Is Written In the Sands

22/6/2022

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There is an old Sufi tale about a Stream that flowed freely for years. It is said that he began his journey from up there in the mountains far far away… He passed through hilltops and lowlands… He survived ditches and travelled plains … until one day, he reached the desert.

The Stream has been through a lot on his journey and was certain that he can pull through this one too. So, he tried and tried; and the more he tried to cross the desert, the faster he kept sinking into its Sands… the Stream’s waters were disappearing and the Stream was gradually fading away. 

Yet, he knew that he was meant to cross the desert… but, he had no idea how… And, he began to wonder why… Why was he facing such a hard task?  Why can’t he just continue flowing as he used to? This is when the Stream heard a gentle subtle voice that seems to come from afar … the voice whispered: “the Wind crosses the desert, so can you.”
“But, the Wind can fly,” replied the Stream, “it can flow over those harsh arid Sands that keep sucking the life out of me.”
“Maybe you’re pushing too hard,” whispered the voice, “maybe you need to let go… Let go of your old ways of flowing… your old ways of knowing.”
“But, are there other ways of flowing… other ways of knowing?” Wondered the Stream. 
“If you just allow yourself to be absorbed in the Wind, it can happily carry you to wherever you are meant to be.”
The Stream fiercely objected, “absorbed in the Wind? But, I will no longer be a Stream. What will I be? Who will I be if I let myself be absorbed in the Wind?”

“And, what will you be? Who will you be? If you do not?” Answered the voice. “If you keep pushing against the harshness of the Sands, you’ll soon be absorbed away or turned into a swampland.” 

It was a hard choice to make… After all, the Stream only knew one way of flowing… one way of knowing. All his life, he has been flowing in his old familiar way… he has been knowing in his old knowable way... he was free, or so, he thought… he had never relinquished his control before… had never been absorbed before… “Will I stay me? Will I stay the Stream?”

“The Wind has been carrying the waters from the streams for years and years… it carries them to wherever they are meant to be”

“How do I know that this is true?”

“You need to trust. You need to believe.”

“But, will I remain the same Stream that I am today?”

“Your essence will never change… whether you become a new stream, a lake, or a river… whether you choose to sink in the Sands or turn into swamp or marsh... you are and will always remain you… your secret… your most essential you.”

The Stream was more confused than ever… So many questions needed to be asked. But, the answer did not come from the faraway whispers this time, the answer came from deep within. The Stream vaguely remembered once upon a time far faraway when he was held by the caring Wind… it felt safe… it felt true… or, did it? 

And, the Stream allowed his waters to be absorbed in the Wind… and, the Wind gently carried the waters to the mountaintops far faraway. The Stream was watching and learning... He was flowing like he had never flown before… He was knowing like he had never known before...
The Stream still did not know where the Wind is carrying him… And, he still did not know what or how he’ll end up being… But, it felt true… it felt real… it felt safe. The Stream somehow knew that he still was and will always remain the Stream that he had always been and he also knew that he no longer was and will never remain the Stream he had ever been.

And, on his journey up to the mountaintops, he heard the familiar gentle voice whisper again, “We have always known, because we see it happen all the time."
And, this is why it is said that the journey of your Stream of Life is written in the Sands.

_______________
Ref. 
Tales of the Dervishes by Idris Shah


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I’ve been hibernating!

2/3/2022

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Winter with its cold and snowy nature is a time of slowing down. Nature takes a deep slumber turning inward… the animals hide in their dens and burrows; and the plants dig deeper into their roots. Seeds become dormant to avoid germination as the time and environment are not suitable or sustaining. Hibernation and dormancy help nature survive - They safeguard and sustain life until the time and environment are favourable once more.
Nature has a lot to teach us…

​Here are some winter symbolism to reflect on:
  • Cold - for constriction, contraction, the yin side of the cycle- Cold drives us inward looking for warmth inside our hearts, drawing on our inner resources.
 
  • Dark - Winter nights are longer than the days - they reflect the silence, seclusion, connection with our deeper self, our deepest secrets and mystery. Darkness inspires introspection, self-evaluation and reflection. It also imbues calmness and preservation.
 
  • Snow - the magical white blanket reflects a majestic beauty that inspires awe and wonder. Purity, softness, gentleness - yet it can be frightening and damaging at times. Snow has the inherent yin and yang in its nature. It reflects harmony, flow and fluidity - yet it is restricted, rigid and inflexible at times. 
The cold, dark, and snowing nature of winter forces us inward. It inspires resilience as we learn to draw on our inner resources for survival, for preservation of our energy and protection of our resources. The tough nature of the season teaches us to surrender, to stop trying to change what we cannot change. It teaches us to let go as we admire the cycle of death and rebirth. It teaches us to detach so we can start anew. Winter reflects vigilance, resiliency, and patience and inspires hope for new beginnings, for transition and evolvement.

Still, winter will be soon receding giving way to spring… And, the cycle continues.

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    About the Author

    Hi, I'm Amira... I'm all for simple, natural, uncomplicated life... My core values are derived from my Islamic faith... My definition of wellness includes lots of smiles, human interactions, delicious food, music, joy, colorful paint, Mediterranean sunshine, blue sky and turquoise sea, care, love, compassion and deep heart-felt peace.
    I love learning… I love books and art supplies… And, I am saddened by human conflict and intolerance.
     
    I am an introvert who loves being around people... I love building communities and gathering around the kitchen table... I am a teacher at heart... I simplify complex health science and speak openly about heart and soul stuff...

    I've been helping people on their health and healing journey for more than 20 years now and I am committed to be authentic, caring and a beacon of love and peace.

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My wellness coaching, workshops, teachings, and all the services I provide are at all times restricted to education, teaching and training on the subject of natural health matters intended for general natural health well-being and do not involve the diagnosing, prognosticating, treatment, or prescribing of remedies for the treatment of any disease, or any licensed or controlled act which may constitute the practice of  medicine. 
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