​I am a big  fan of positive psychology and I am a student of all those masters and their self-help books and teachings… Yet, too much of the good thing is not always better.
 
When un-experienced ‘guru’ jumped on the ‘positivity’ wagon, they totally messed up the core value of the teachings. Ignorance and fad led to the development of a generation obsessed with unrealistic positive expectations. A generation focused on being the healthiest, happiest, fittest, and smartest… A generation with an extremely low tolerance for failures or disappointments (which are normal part of our human journey) and worst of all a generation who feels entitled… who feels that the world owes them something, that they have an inherited right to every good, beautiful, amazing, wonderful… thing out there without earning it or working for it…
 
One of my biggest pet peeves is this crazy new trend of ‘forgiving’ your parents for what they did to you, for their human mistakes… this is part of the narcissistic mentality that is cultivated by that feelings of entitlement, the feeling that the world owes us a lot. I know that some parents do horrible stuff to their kids, but most parents do the best they can.
We are human. We sometimes stress out, shout at our children, and say mean stuff without even noticing… But, we are still doing our best just as our parents did their best.
Yes, we should forgive any un-intentional slip from their side, but first and foremost we should be thankful to them, we should be grateful for all their efforts and love even if they sometimes failed to show it… This is a totally different attitude than arrogantly announcing that we ‘forgive’ them for their mistakes and shortcomings. As adults, we are responsible for our own choices, our happiness or depression, our successes and failures and our values and self-worth. 

​Other form of narcissistic mentality shows in the famous ‘mirror work’ exercise… Yes, I do advice my clients to stand before the mirror and look themselves in the eyes and announce that they are good enough, capable and powerful enough… But, again, this extra fluff of kissing yourself and sending bubbles of love and hugs and airy fairy and I don’t know what… now, we’re going overboard… Now, we cultivate a culture of entitlement, of narcissists who just feel they are the best and deserve the best without even striving for it.
 
There is a fine line between being a brave self-confident human being and between being an arrogant indolent. There is a fine line between nurturing love and care and between feeling entitled and superior. Please don’t fall in this new agey trap. Don’t cross the line… No one owes me or you anything.

Our amygdala is tiny almond-shape structure in our brain involved in memory regulation, decision-making, and emotional reactions.
Many studies link malfunction or overstimulation of the amygdala to anxiety, PTSD and bipolar disorders.
 
Amygdala is the primary structure of the brain responsible for the fight or fight response. It is triggered when we experience increased stress, fear or danger.
 
The feeling of anxiety starts with a perceived threat. It can be trigged by smell, sound, sight, or even a gut feeling. Our amygdala, in an attempt to protect us, immediately interferes by turning on our fight or flight (and sometimes freeze) response. This response releases adrenaline from our adrenal gland leading to raised blood sugar levels and increased heart beats.
 
Here are 4 proven strategies to calm down the amygdala and interfere with this fight and flight response:

1. Gratitude
Long known for its beneficial reward, gratitude is a virtue praised by all major world religions. Adopting a feeling of gratitude that is deeply rooted in our hearts is a major component of the health formula.
Every day upon waking up, grab your journal and write down 3 things that you are grateful for in your life. And, upon retiring at night, grab your journal again and record 3 things that happened today that you are grateful for.

2. Forgiveness
When we are hurt, insulted or oppressed, we have two options to deal with our feelings: either to forgive and let go or to hate, harbour grudges and live to seek revenge. Both choices are hard, but their results are completely opposite. Hatred, bitterness and hostility intoxicate your body and trigger the amygdala fight or flight response.
On the other hand, forgiveness transcends the soul and frees you from any destructive negative energy. Forgiveness heals you not only emotionally but also physically and mentally.

3. Curiosity
Meeting each day with a fresh new eye, with excitement, open mind and pure heart is another calming recipe for our amygdala. This inquisitive desire to learn, this genuine interest in life and this continuous quest for knowledge are qualities that we can develop each and every day of our life. Curiosity is also a remedy for the fear of ambiguity, for the continuous living in this grey zone where we are not and cannot be in control all the time… Curiosity is seeing this grey zone as an exciting range of possibilities rather that torturing wait-and-see time of our life.

4. Humor
Humor is the tendency to provide amusement and add a touch of aliveness to everyday life. Taking life lightly and having a laugh at our challenges or misfortunes are proven ways to calm down the fight and flight response. Even just watching funny movies or reading comics for half an hour every day helps… it truly makes a difference. Try it. Have some fun.
 

​In a previous blog, I shared with you how anxiety is believed to turn on the furnace in our cells, increasing inflammatory markers and putting us at risk of a wide range of disease from cardiovascular and digestive issues all he way to autoimmune and cancer…

To turn down this internal furnace, we need to stop fuelling the fire… one way of doing this, as I suggested in my earlier blog,  is meditation… Meditation helps tune down the stream of thoughts that trigger our fight and flight and push us on over drive.

Another essential measure to stop fuelling the internal blaze is quitting sugar… Ya… you heard me right… you need to quit sugar! Sugar is highly addictive and inflammatory fuel that keeps the furnace burning. and, when your cells are on fire, your brain is on fire.
When I say sugar I do not just mean this white refined powder, sugars include all baked goods and refined grain flours. They all end up fuelling the same path…
 
It is hard, I know. Most of us, anxious folks, are already addicted!
This is why I invite you to join me on a 10 days sugar-free challenge… Just 10 days… You can do it! And trust me, you are going to feel a heck of difference… Just try it with me… 10 days starting tomorrow… I will leave 1 day to prepare and go vegetable shopping and clean your fridge pantry from all temptations.

The rules are simple:

1. NO sugars- including healthy sugars like honey and maple syrup.
2. NO grains – and no corn or soy
3. NO potatoes
4. NO fruits except: Berries, kiwi, citrus, apples, pears and papaya
5. NO deep frying

 
 
Other than that, you’re good to go.
 
Here are some tips:

• To feel full add as much green leafy vegetables to your diet as you can
• To further turn off the inflammation add different-color vegetables and berries to your diet
• Choose lean high quality protein like veal, chicken breast, turkey, fish and eggs. (don’t over do it)
• Choose good fats like avocado, nuts, seeds, olive oil, olives, and coconut oil (don’t over do it)

 
Let’s meet in our Facebook group Body Whispers and share our experiences and may be some recipes and ideas.

In the past month alone I had more than 20 clients and students approaching me regarding their anxiety issues…
The DSM (Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) lists more than 30 different disorders under anxiety… Yet, if you dig at the core of it, no one really knows what anxiety is and where it comes from…
 
Anxiety is very individualized condition. It comes in various shapes and forms, different severity and intensity. It carries different pains and signs and poses varying challenges for its sufferers.
 
New studies link anxiety to autoimmune disease, Hashimoto Thyroiditis being a common one I see in my practice… Yet, is it a cause or an effect of the autoimmune disease… No one knows for sure. What we know is that anxiety increases inflammatory markers in the body and the inflammatory markers in their turn increase anxiety- creating a viscous cycle. Turning on the furnace in our cells turns it on in our brain… Does this contribute to the onset of autoimmune disease? I believe so.
 
I have my own theory about anxiety, though. (I have my own theory about pretty much everything in my life I guess). I see the tendency to be anxious as a special personality trait… it is part of our character… in our genes… it is part of who we are…
 
People who are prone to anxiety are usually the over-achievers. Those who care and carry on with life on a full drive mode… They are the creative type, with a mind loaded with ideas, thoughts, plans and lists… a mind like a super World Wide Web firing in all directions ALL THE TIME!
I know… because this is how my mind feels like… And, this is totally fine… This is who I am and it is perfectly ‘normal’… my ‘normal’…
 
Who defines ‘normal’ anyway?
Who decides what ‘normal’ is or isn’t?
 
We’re all different and this is part of our charm. We complete and complement each other…
 
Anxiety-prone people are idea generators. We’re experts at connecting the dots, at seeing patterns in the randomness of chaos… We’re there to charge, drive and achieve… We’re here to move stagnated waters and shake sluggish sloth…
But, we can overdo it at times… We can burn the candle at both ends… We can scorch ourselves alive… we can keep running and running till we run out of breath… we can keep spinning on the hamster wheel till the wheel is ablaze…
So, our body sends us a signal… a Whisper to remind us that we need to slow down … This Whisper is our anxiety…
I see anxiety as a gentle (or may be not so gentle at times) warning sign sent our way to tell us that we’re over doing it… over thinking, over acting, over working… We need to slow down… slow down the pace of our life and the pace of our thoughts… we need to close those pop-up windows that keep surfacing out of no where and jamming our mental screen.
We need to slow down this crazy chatter and endless clutter of to-dos, ideas, information, worry and fears… 

​The best way of slowing down is meditation. I won’t list here the science behind it and the endless proofs of the positive effects of meditation on your health… The main thing is that it works. It has been proven time and time again that it does work. And, this is what matters.
 
There is no right or wrong way of meditating… The main idea is to sit in this silent space… And, with every exhalation, gently push away any surfacing pop-ups … let them float away like fluffy clouds…
 
Some people find it easier to focus on their breath; others choose a word or a phrase to focus on, be it an affirmation or a religious reminder of the Divine Names and Attributes… a name or attribute that you need to embody now in your life. Others choose a simple word that they need to live by like peace, love or let go… Again, it doesn’t really matter… What matters is carving the time in our busy hectic schedule to actually meditate EVERYDAY…
 
It is okay if you find yourself unable to calm down the chatter or turn off the pop-ups… it is totally fine… just sit with it and keep breathing… You’ll get there.