Beauty products and toiletries are now a vastly growing market. With the increasing emptiness we feel in our souls, we resort more and more to advertised products that are ‘supposed’ to make us look better and thus, according the seller, feel better. But how true is this?
Scientific researches show that the more we concentrate on our outer look and material processions, the more depleted becomes our souls. So what these ‘look good, feel good’ motto is doing is draining our spiritual reserve. We work hard to support our life style habits, then go home drained and exhausted; sit on the sofa flipping through TV channels that tells us that we basically ‘aren’t good enough’, so we go out to buy more ‘stuff’, work more to afford them and go back to our sofa and TV channels to hear the same message over and over again: ‘you’re not good enough’. We always need so and so to make us look better, feel better, be more ‘cool’, accepted, loved… We thus throw ourselves into a vicious cycle that poses more stress on our nerves and more depletion of our souls.
There is nothing wrong with using cosmetics and toiletries to look better (provided they are safe enough for us as we will discuss in a moment), the problem lays in letting these material look control the way we perceive ourselves. The belief that this physical body is what we are all about and becoming obsessed with our appearance, makes us risk neglecting our true essence: the beauty of our souls.

Another important risk concerning cosmetics and toiletries is safety. Many beauty and personal health products are synthetic chemicals stuffed with pesticides, preservatives, plastics, artificial colors and odors. The National Institute of  occupational safety found more than 2500 toxic chemicals in cosmetics that can produce skin rash, eye irritation, tumors, reproductive problems, and biological mutations in animals tests and therefore, possible in humans.
Cosmetic products and toiletries that we use do not just remain on our skins. Powders are absorbed through skin pores and oily solutions and emulsions and moisturizing products allow more skin absorption of any chemicals present in the formula. To make matters worse, many products contain penetration enhancers that actually increase their absorption. Even eye makeup could be absorbed through the mucus membrane covering the eyeballs. Fine particulates of sprays, perfumes, powders could be inhaled and lipsticks could be licked and swallowed.
The health hazards caused by these synthetic products are numerous. Many ingredients are potential carcinogens. For example, many medicated shampoos, anti-dandruff shampoos, bubble bath soaps, and even toothpastes contain possible carcinogen as formaldehyde, coal-tar, sodium lauryl sulfate, polyethylene glycol and/or various preservatives. Many ingredients trigger allergic reactions and sensitivity and have negative effect on our nervous system. Many ingredients in shampoo, hair dyes and other cosmetic products interfere with body hormones especially sexual hormones causing reproductive problems ranging from PMS and impotence to sterility and congenital deformation of fetuses.

What can you do about it?
·         Use these products only when necessary and do not over do it. Ask yourself before buying it: Do I really ‘need’ this?
·         Select natural products (organic if possible) as much as you can.
·         Read the label. The basic rule is: the fewer ingredients they have, the better.
·         If you are a bubble bath fan, use essential oils or fragrant herbs to fragrance your bath.

Suggested reference for this topic: What’s in this Stuff? By Pat Thomas.

Finally, always remember, your real beauty shine from deep within your soul.

In my work, I give a lot of presentations and teachings. I am an introvert person by nature, usually shy and tend to avoid confrontations. These presentations used to impose lot of stress on my system until I learnt about the concept of Reference Memory.
Reference Memory is a special memory of yours that is linked to some good and/or satisfactory feeling of your choice. We all have special memories of nice times in our lives. All you have to do is to dig this memory up, spice it up a little and bring it back to life as reference readily available to help you reach the same feeling in similar situations. In my case, I was hunting for an empowering memory.
First, I led myself into a deep relaxation state where it was safe and calm. I slowly went through my life. images kept cascading till one mental image felt so close and clear. I further relaxed and dug it up:
One of my first jobs as a pharmacist was in the scientific office of a well established pharmaceutical company. My job was to translate the quality control and laboratory analysis documents into French before exportation to Morocco and Algeria. One night, I was really exhausted from my morning work at the faculty, I miss-copied some numbers from a quality control sheet. ‘Some numbers’ in pharmaceutical terms are not mere numbers; a dose error of 1 microgram could be fatal. I usually revise the sheets before submitting them; but this time, my highly meticulous boss, asked for the sheets early and he discovered the mistake before I did. Soon, I was called for in his office. Knowing that my mistake was so serious, I was willing to accept any judgment he sees suitable. But, going there, my colleagues warned me about his bad temper. “Never reply back”, one of them advised, “this will only make matters worse. Just nod and apologize, he will eventually calm down”, another colleague added.  I gathered my strength and went into his office. Before I could say a word, a flow of insults and affronts was thrown into my face. I never expected such treatment. Given my shy and introversive nature, I felt apprehended for a while, but soon I could not withstand the insult. I do not know how I found the strength of stopping him. “Please sir”, I interrupted politely, “I know how terrible my fault is, and I am willing to accept full responsibility for it. You have the right to fire me if you want, but you have no right to insult me,” I added. Silence enveloped the room for few seconds; I could hear my heart beats accelerating waiting for the unexpected. Suddenly, the man stood up and said firmly, “I respect your response, I am sorry. Correct these sheets and take care of your work in the future,” he added handing me the sheets. I felt great relief. As I stepped out of his office, I felt so empowered and self-confident. My colleagues were so impressed. I felt great respect for myself and my abilities. I felt that I could handle any situation. It was such a great feeling.
I wrote my memory in my journal. I wanted to document and relive my feeling at that moment. I felt my victory. I saw myself clear as if it was telling me: ‘See, You can do it!!!’ I turned it into my empowering Reference Memory!!!
Reference Memory is of great help in dealing with helplessness, shyness, weakness, and/ or any debilitating feeling that you encounter in your life. Its tremendous power stems from the fact that it is all yours, it comes from deep within your own mind, already engraved into your neurons (nerve cells) and experienced by every cell of your being. All you need to do is to practice it repeatedly, trying to integrate as many senses as you could. Try to feel each detail, see it, touch it, smell it, and hear it. Slowly, your memory will surface its way back to your consciousness and become more vivid and way clearer. The more you practice it, feel it and experience it, the quicker it will be available to your consciousness whenever you need to retrieve the same feeling back mentally, emotionally, and physically. You can collect a whole Reference Memory archive: empowering memories, sweet memories, peaceful memories, forgiveness memories, healing and health-boosting memories… the list is endless and the choice is all yours.

I’ve just received my PhD certificate last month. What a great feeling after four years of hard work. It’s strange though; when I finally reached my destination, I felt a deep urge to slow down and reflect on my journey, on my life and where it led me. I felt the need for pushing the pause button.
I can clearly see that the pace of my life have been very fast lately. I felt like I have been running for a long time and I am in desperate need for a breath to grasp. Rushing to finish my PhD studies has been taking most of my time and effort. My house needs my attention, my kids are missing me, and I am missing peace and calm. I guess I am living in the dangerous ‘Burnout Zone’ at the moment. Lots of areas in my life are out of balance (yes, even natural health consultants and coaches get this feeling. We all do): my spiritual connections, my house and family life, my social life, and even my health and physical wellbeing. I don’t remember when was the last time I went to the gym, went cycling, or went for a walk. My easel has been laying there for ages with unfinished canvas work. I guess it is a whole package. If some areas are out of balance, the whole system is thrown out of synch.
But, the good news is, as the Leveys -in their book Living in balance- put it, “the moment you are mindful that you are tumbling, you are already moving back towards balance”. I am now more aware of my problem and this is the first step towards a more balanced life.
  My top priorities and my plan for regaining my balance:
1. Mindfulness and Awareness. I need to turn off the auto pilot system and actually live my life. Developing awareness of the present moment will allow me to clearly see my needs and the needs of people around me, especially my children. I need to spend more time in nature. See and feel the beauty and fill my heart and soul with the tremendous energy nature has to offer. Maintaining a state of mindfulness will help me improve focus and concentration, increase inner calmness and authentic presence. It will also enhance the quality of my communication and relationships with my children, my husband, my family, and my friends as it will improve my tolerance for deep listening and understanding. Mindfulness also induces mind clarity and tolerance for stress by adding peace of mind and sense of flow to my life. I am in so much need for greater confidence, faith and inner strength.
2.  Balance my Mind. My life pace is very fast at the present moment, I need to slow down and simplify my thoughts. I need to reduce stress and worries, learn to be more flexible, tolerate ambiguity, and surrender to the Divine will. Planning my day and setting priorities straight will help me make better use of my time. I need to write it all down.
I also need to clear my physical environment. The clutters in my physical world (my study, my living room, my garden...) are sure reflecting back on my inner world. Clearing and rearranging my environment will have great impact on my thoughts, moods, and behaviors. I also need to buy some plants and flowers for the house and the garden.
Play. I have been taking life too seriously lately. I need more fun and play in my life. Back to my easel is my best way to relax. With my paints and canvas, I don’t feel the time; it just flows smoothly. It will be a great opportunity to clear my mind, relax, and have fun.

3. My Health.  I love cooking, I love experimenting with new recipes and ingredients, but again, I don’t remember when was the last time I did that. We have been eating lots of junk food lately (Shame on me!!! A nutrition specialist!!!). No more I promise (although my kids will hate me for that). I wrote my supermarket list with fresh fruits and vegetables as priority items.  I guess I also need some supplements for a fresh start. I will add anti-oxidants, omega-3 fatty acids, and psyllium seeds (soluble fibers) to my shopping list. Exercise: last week I played Wii Fit, with my children. It was lots of fun. We exercised together, connected and bonded. I should do it more often. The weather is getting better; I guess I will be back to my daily walks and cycling. I changed the batteries of my long forgotten pedometer and I am committed to exercise 20 minutes, at least 3 times per week (for a start and I hope that I will increase the time and frequency of my work out later on).

4. Spiritual Connection. I am in great need to review and renew my spiritual connections. While on this cross road of my life, it is the perfect time to set my priorities straight, review my mission statement and recommit to my goals. It is time to clarify my vision and re-evaluate my intentions. I have to include more deep relaxation, meditations, and prayers in my daily routine. Breathing exercises will also be of great help to de-clutter the mind and rejuvenate the soul.

Where to start?
I was an avid journal keeper, but I stopped lately out of time. I guess I need to return to my daily pages. I bought a new journal. It is a beautiful Moleskine® notebook with thick water color papers; it is great for visual journaling. In my journal, I listed my priorities and renewed my commitment for a real change towards more balance in my life. I am taking it one step at a time, but with steady steps, I feel that I am already back on track.

Now, it’s your turn...
Where do you stand? Are you leading a balanced life?
Press your Pause Button, stop, and reflect… Get a new journal; review your mission, vision, and goal in life; renew your intention. Write it all down. Check your 4 human sides: Body, Mind, Heart, and Soul. Set your priorities straight, and write a plan. You can seek help from a close friend, on form a support group to motivate you on your journey. Take the first step now. All great journeys start with one first step…
 

Ammy, a friend of mine, comes from a developing country where people struggle for everyday living. Poverty, illiteracy, inflation, pollution, corruption, lack of health care  and social security are but few of their everyday challenges. Ammy settled with her husband and children years ago in the gulf region where life was totally different. Still she enjoyed her yearly summer vacations in her hometown, where, despite all its struggles, all citizens behave as close friends and family. “You can never feel lonely, she used to say, you are always surrounded by neighbors, friends, colleagues and family members; even on the streets, everybody smiles at you and greets you in delight as if they have known you for years. You always feel welcome and cared for.”

But, gradually things began to change. People became more stressed as they could no longer sustain their basic life needs. Anxiety, depression, anger, and frustration showed on faces of poor families living below poverty lines. Smiles faded and were replaced by tension and constant whining and complain. “I could perfectly understand their behavior, she said, how could you ask a hungry man to smile in your face?”

 But during Ammy’s last visit, the situation deteriorated even more. “Every body was rude, angry and hostile, even the highly educated and wealthy people. I could not figure out why. Fight rose among close relatives. In my own family I spent the whole summer trying to solve problems and meaningless quarrels. People became very suspicious, intolerant, and defensive. Serious conflicts arose from simple misunderstandings. I felt as if there was a virus in the air, a deadly virus that infected the whole city, even the whole country. What was wrong with these people?”

In his book, Blink, Malcolm Gladwell talked about an impressive effect called priming. When a person is subjected to rude comments, surrounded by stressed people, complains and whining, even if he has nothing to do with it, his subconscious mind receives a message that he is in a tension situation, it gives him a kind of alert on which he acts accordingly without recognizing his own change in behavior. Priming is nothing like brain washing or hypnosis, but increasing scientific evidences are proving its tremendous effect on our behavior. You can compare it to the effect of media in shaping people mentality. Continuous hidden tiny messages have far more powerful effect than a direct clear statement. The cartoons and comics that appeared in the sixties and seventies associating the ‘bad guys’ with a black skinned person had a tremendous effect on the mental image that people held for years for African descendents (needless to say the films, computer games, and cartoon movies that nowadays associate the ‘terrorist’ actions with the image of a man with a beard). Our subconscious has no ability to analyze, judge or reject suggestions; it just receives them, stores them and acts accordingly when the time comes. That’s why a simple suggestion delivered on a subconscious level are much more effective than a whole speech delivered to the conscious mind.

This is the answer to Ammy’s question; this is the ‘virus in the air’ the highly contagious virus that is infecting everyone around. Bad temper, anger, frustrations, rudeness, and stress are easily picked up from single words or change in tones of the ‘infected’ persons and the cycle goes on infecting the whole community undermining their energy and damaging their sense of security.

The important question here is: what can we do about it? If I am saying that our subconscious stands totally helpless before these damaging suggestions, do I consequently impress that we are totally vulnerable to mental manipulations? Of course not. The main ‘vaccine’ to this virus is awareness. Being aware of our behavior, the situation where we are and our response to it is an important element in the formula. Most of us nowadays run on ‘autopilot’. We just execute what we are supposed to do without being mindful of it. We deal with our lives as viewers watching a video clip. We do not engage in our actions, we do not involve all our senses in our life. When was the last time you stopped to notice the sunshine or to admire the beauty of the sunset? When was the last time you cooked a special dish and shared some with your neighbors? When you walked out of your house today did you greet the newspaper guy/the postman/the neighbors’ child? Did you remember to take some bread crumbs to feed the birds on the backyard? Stopped to pat the cat on the street or noticed the new grass growing on the sidewalk? Did you smell the fresh grass/snow/flowers? Did you remember to renew your intention? Your intention from going to work/school/college today, from going to the supermarket, from taking the kids to sports class, from talking to your friend on the phone? Did you take the time to feel grateful for your Divine blessings? Did you feel them? Enjoy them? You may have remembered to say your daily affirmations, but did you stop for only one minute to admire their meanings, to feel how they apply to your life today and how could they alter/shape your behavior, perceptions, and beliefs for the better? 

These simple but continuous daily actions are the suggestions you are imposing on your subconscious mind, they are your powerful tools to help you counteract any erroneous suggestions subjected on you from the outside world. Don’t underestimate the power of you own autosuggestions; they are the most potent ‘vaccines’ protecting you from the deadly ‘virus in the air’.